The chart below shows the yield of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains grown in three different countries in 2001. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given bar chart presents information pertaining to the yield of three different countries in 2001.
Overall, it is apparent that Other grains held the largest crop compared to other categories in 2001. Notably, the figure for Wheat consistently represented the smallest yield capacity in this year, and the yield markets in both USA and China were far more competitive than their India counterpart.
Focusing on the category of Other grains, the chart reveals that both USA and China attained the greatest capacity of 9 tonnes, which was roughly 7 tonnes higher than India. Surprisingly, the USA was noted to be the largest market for Barley with a remarkable accumulation of 7.1 tonnes, and this was followed by 6.5 tonnes in China. The same was true for Wheat, as the USA and China maintained the first and second position, with respective figures being 3.5 tonnes and 2.5 tonnes.
Conversely, China took dominance over the USA in terms of rice, reaching 7 tonnes whilst the USA harvested 6 tonnes of rice in 2001. However, India remained at its lowest ranking in these grain categories, and the lowest data for this country was only a ton regarding to rice.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"yield markets" -> "production markets"
Explanation: "Yield" typically refers to the amount produced, whereas "production markets" better conveys the idea of competition and sales within the market context.
"yield capacity" -> "production capacity"
Explanation: "Yield capacity" is not commonly used in this context; "production capacity" is more fitting when discussing the amount of crops a country can produce.
"attained the greatest capacity of 9 tonnes" -> "achieved the highest output of 9 tonnes"
Explanation: "Attained the greatest capacity" is unnecessarily verbose; "achieved the highest output" is a concise alternative.
"remarkable accumulation" -> "significant accumulation"
Explanation: "Remarkable" is somewhat informal in this context; "significant" maintains the emphasis on the quantity of accumulation while sounding more formal.
"maintained the first and second position" -> "held the first and second positions"
Explanation: "Maintained" implies a continuous action, which may not be the intended meaning here; "held" is more appropriate to indicate the positions.
"took dominance over" -> "dominated"
Explanation: "Took dominance over" is wordy; "dominated" succinctly expresses the idea of one country having superiority over another.
"lowest ranking" -> "lowest position"
Explanation: "Ranking" refers to the order of things, whereas "position" is more precise when discussing the lowest place in a hierarchy or comparison.
"lowest data" -> "smallest figure"
Explanation: "Lowest data" is not idiomatic; "smallest figure" accurately describes the least amount without sounding awkward.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the given chart and making relevant comparisons between the countries’ yields of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains in 2001. It provides an overview of the main trends, such as the dominance of other grains, the consistent low yield of wheat, and the competitive markets in the USA and China. Key features and comparisons are highlighted, such as the differences in yield between the countries for each grain category.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more detailed and specific data from the chart to support the comparisons made. Additionally, the analysis could be further extended to provide deeper insights into the significance of the trends observed in the data.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information fairly coherently, with a clear attempt at progression and summarization. The introduction provides an overview of the main features and comparisons. Each paragraph focuses on a specific grain category and country, which aids in clarity. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as abrupt shifts between countries and grains without smooth transitions. Additionally, some sentences lack clarity or logical connection, impacting overall coherence.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure each sentence logically follows from the previous one, maintaining a clear progression of ideas. Also, work on refining sentence structures to improve clarity and eliminate ambiguity. Finally, pay attention to referencing to avoid confusion and improve overall cohesion within the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, with attempts to use less common lexical items and some awareness of style and collocation. The writer effectively conveys the main features of the chart and makes comparisons where relevant. There is a variety of vocabulary used to describe the data and trends, such as "yield capacity," "attained the greatest capacity," and "harvested." Some less common lexical items like "dominance" and "accumulation" are employed appropriately. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "attained the greatest capacity of 9 tonnes," where "capacity" might not be the most accurate word choice. Additionally, there are minor inaccuracies in word formation, as seen in "dominance over the USA" where "over" could be replaced with "compared to." Overall, the essay effectively communicates the main features and comparisons of the chart.

How to improve: To improve, the writer could focus on refining word choice and collocation to ensure accuracy and precision. Additionally, paying attention to minor errors in word formation, such as prepositions, can enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of Band 6. There is an attempt to vary sentence structures, but some sentences are overly simplistic. The use of transitional phrases like "Overall," and "Focusing on," adds coherence to the essay. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay, which prevent it from achieving a higher score.

How to improve:
To improve, focus on incorporating a wider range of sentence structures to enhance complexity. Pay closer attention to grammar and punctuation to reduce errors, as they occasionally impede communication. Additionally, strive for more precise and natural phrasing to improve clarity and fluency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the yield of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains in three distinct countries during the year 2001.

Overall, it is evident that the category of Other grains witnessed the highest production among the different crops in 2001. Notably, Wheat consistently exhibited the lowest yield capacity during this period, while the yield markets in the USA and China were notably more competitive than in India.

Looking specifically at Other grains, both the USA and China achieved the highest capacity at 9 tonnes, which was approximately 7 tonnes higher than India. Interestingly, the USA emerged as the leading market for Barley with a significant production of 7.1 tonnes, followed by China at 6.5 tonnes. A similar trend was observed for Wheat, with the USA and China occupying the first and second positions, with respective figures of 3.5 tonnes and 2.5 tonnes.

In contrast, China surpassed the USA in rice production, reaching 7 tonnes compared to the USA’s 6 tonnes in 2001. However, India remained at the lowest rank across these grain categories, with its lowest production figure only reaching one ton for rice.