The chart below shows the yield of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains grown in three different countries in 2001.

The graph illustrates how much wheat, barley, rice, and other grains were produced in the three mentioned countries in 2001.
Overall, USA and China are top gain-producing regions, with the highest yield of other gains. This leads to the abundance amount of other gains.

Regarding barley production, the USA took the lead, at just slightly above 7 tonnes compared to China, at about 6.5 tonnes. The figure for India was about one-seventh of the US, with around 1.8 tonnes being produced. The production of wheat followed the same pattern, but less pronunced, with respective figures being about 3.5,2.5 and 1.2 tonnes for the US, China and India.

Concerning the two remainings, by far the top rice producer was China, at 6 tonnes, sixfold as high as that of India and 1 ton higher than the data for the US. As for other gains, 9 tonnes was manufactured by both the States and China while India only reached 2 tonnes in the production of other gains.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"gain-producing regions" -> "grain-producing regions"
Explanation: "Gain" typically refers to profit or advantage, while "grain" refers to the type of crops being discussed in the context of agricultural production.
"abundance amount" -> "abundant quantity"
Explanation: "Abundance" already implies a large quantity, so "abundance amount" is redundant. "Abundant quantity" is a more concise and precise phrase.
"less pronunced" -> "less pronounced"
Explanation: "Pronunced" is a misspelling of "pronounced." "Less pronounced" means not as noticeable or distinct, which fits the context here.
"remainings" -> "remaining"
Explanation: "Remainings" is grammatically incorrect; "remaining" is the correct adjective form to describe the two remaining categories.
"manufactured" -> "produced"
Explanation: While "manufactured" can refer to the creation of goods, "produced" is more appropriate for describing agricultural output, aligning better with the context of crop yield.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay addresses the task by providing an overview of the production of wheat, barley, rice, and other grains in three countries in 2001. It adequately selects information and presents key features such as the comparison of production levels between the USA, China, and India. However, the essay lacks in fully developing the response, as it could provide more detailed information and extend the discussion further.
How to improve:
To improve, the essay could expand on the trends observed in the production of each grain, provide more specific data points, and offer a deeper analysis of the significance of the production levels in each country. Additionally, ensuring accuracy and relevance of details would strengthen the essay’s effectiveness.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information coherently, with a clear overall progression from discussing wheat, barley, and rice to other grains. The introduction and conclusion provide an overview of the data presented. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion within and between sentences, such as the phrase "This leads to the abundance amount of other gains," which could be clarified for smoother coherence. Paragraphing is used, but there are some areas where it could be improved for better organization and flow.
How to improve: To enhance coherence, ensure that cohesive devices are used effectively and consistently throughout the essay. Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using clearer transitions. Additionally, refine the paragraphing structure to ensure each paragraph presents a clear central topic and logically follows the previous one.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, including terms like "yield," "pronounced," "manufactured," and "abundance." Additionally, there is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "respective figures" and "sixfold," although there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "pronunced" instead of "pronounced." There are also some minor errors in word formation, such as "pronunced" and "gain-producing," but they do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on using a wider variety of vocabulary with more precision. Ensure accuracy in word choice and word formation to convey ideas more effectively. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors can enhance clarity and coherence. Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated and precise language where appropriate can elevate the lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of structures, including complex sentences, such as "Regarding barley production, the USA took the lead, at just slightly above 7 tonnes compared to China, at about 6.5 tonnes." However, the accuracy of these complex structures is inconsistent, leading to some inaccuracies that may cause some difficulty for the reader. For instance, there are errors in subject-verb agreement ("This leads to the abundance amount of other gains") and awkward phrasing ("The figure for India was about one-seventh of the US, with around 1.8 tonnes being produced"). Additionally, there are instances of faulty punctuation, like missing commas in compound sentences.

How to improve:

Work on improving sentence accuracy by paying attention to subject-verb agreement and ensuring clarity in phrasing.
Review punctuation rules, particularly for comma usage in complex sentences and lists.
Aim for a wider range of sentence structures to enhance flexibility and fluency in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The chart provides an overview of the wheat, barley, rice, and other grains yield in three countries in 2001.

In general, the USA and China are the primary producers, particularly excelling in other grains. This results in a significant surplus of other grains.

Regarding barley, the USA leads with just over 7 tonnes, slightly ahead of China, which produced about 6.5 tonnes. India’s barley production was about one-seventh of the USA’s, at around 1.8 tonnes. Wheat production followed a similar pattern, albeit less pronounced, with approximately 3.5, 2.5, and 1.2 tonnes for the USA, China, and India, respectively.

China stands out as the top rice producer, yielding 6 tonnes, six times higher than India’s and 1 ton more than the USA’s. For other grains, both the USA and China produced 9 tonnes, while India reached 2 tonnes.