The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates what Anthropology pupils choose to do after completing their undergraduate degree course from one university. The table gives information about the percetage of anthropologist salary after working in five years.
At a quick glance, it is clear that more than half of graduated Anthropology students have full-time job, while the rest is for five remaining types of work. Moreover, people who work in freelance consultants and goverment sector have a higher rate of salary in comparison to private companies.
On the one hand, as for full-time work, it accounts for a significant rate in the destination of Anthropology graduates, 52%. And then followed by part time work, which is less than 37%. Graduates who have no job contribute 12% in the total. The percentage of students who choose to have postgraduate course but also a partime job stay in the lowest rank, only 5% while graduates who go for full time postgrad study is higher than 7%. About 12% of Anthropology graduates does not give information about what they do.
On the other hand, 40% freelance consultants get paid from 75000 to 100000$ while only 5% and 15% for under and above 50000$ respectively. As for working in goverment sector, it totally the same with freelance consultants but there are some differences with 10% higher in 100000$ and 10% lower in greater than 75000$. Furthermore, 55% of employees who work for private companies earn more 75000$ and 45% work for the under 75000$ salary.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"what Anthropology pupils choose to do" -> "the career choices of Anthropology graduates"
Explanation: "Pupils" is typically used for younger students, while "graduates" is more appropriate for individuals who have completed their degree. "Career choices" is a more formal and precise phrase than "what… choose to do." -
"the percetage of anthropologist salary after working in five years" -> "the percentage of anthropologists’ salaries after five years of employment"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "percentage" and using the plural possessive "anthropologists’" clarifies that the salaries belong to multiple individuals. The phrase "after five years of employment" is clearer and more formal than "after working in five years." -
"more than half of graduated Anthropology students have full-time job" -> "more than half of graduated Anthropology students hold full-time jobs"
Explanation: "Hold" is a more formal verb choice than "have," and "jobs" should be plural to match the context. -
"the rest is for five remaining types of work" -> "the remainder is distributed among five other types of employment"
Explanation: "The remainder" is more formal than "the rest," and "distributed among" provides a clearer sense of allocation than "is for." -
"freelance consultants and goverment sector" -> "freelance consultants and the government sector"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "government" and adding "the" improves grammatical accuracy and formality. -
"have a higher rate of salary in comparison to private companies" -> "receive higher salaries compared to those in private companies"
Explanation: "Receive higher salaries" is more precise and formal than "have a higher rate of salary," and "those in" clarifies the comparison. -
"it accounts for a significant rate in the destination of Anthropology graduates" -> "it constitutes a significant proportion of the career paths of Anthropology graduates"
Explanation: "Constitutes" is a more formal verb than "accounts for," and "career paths" is a more precise term than "destination." -
"And then followed by part time work, which is less than 37%" -> "This is followed by part-time employment, which accounts for less than 37%"
Explanation: "Part-time employment" is more formal than "part time work," and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and flow. -
"Graduates who have no job contribute 12% in the total" -> "Graduates who are unemployed represent 12% of the total"
Explanation: "Unemployed" is a more precise term than "have no job," and "represent" is more formal than "contribute." -
"the percentage of students who choose to have postgraduate course but also a partime job stay in the lowest rank" -> "the percentage of students who pursue postgraduate courses while also holding part-time jobs remains the lowest"
Explanation: "Pursue" is a more formal verb than "choose to have," and "remains the lowest" is clearer than "stay in the lowest rank." -
"while graduates who go for full time postgrad study is higher than 7%" -> "while graduates who pursue full-time postgraduate studies exceed 7%"
Explanation: "Pursue" is more formal than "go for," and "exceed" is a more precise verb than "is higher than." -
"does not give information about what they do" -> "do not provide information regarding their activities"
Explanation: "Provide" is more formal than "give," and "regarding their activities" is clearer than "about what they do." -
"40% freelance consultants get paid from 75000 to 100000$" -> "40% of freelance consultants earn between $75,000 and $100,000"
Explanation: Adding "of" clarifies the subject, and "earn between" is more precise than "get paid from." -
"only 5% and 15% for under and above 50000$ respectively" -> "only 5% earn below $50,000, while 15% earn above this amount"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the meaning and improves grammatical structure. -
"it totally the same with freelance consultants" -> "it is identical to that of freelance consultants"
Explanation: "Is identical to" is more formal and precise than "totally the same with." -
"but there are some differences with 10% higher in 100000$ and 10% lower in greater than 75000$" -> "but there are some differences, including a 10% higher rate at $100,000 and a 10% lower rate for salaries exceeding $75,000"
Explanation: This revision improves clarity and grammatical structure while maintaining formality. -
"55% of employees who work for private companies earn more 75000$ and 45% work for the under 75000$ salary" -> "55% of employees in private companies earn more than $75,000, while 45% earn below this amount"
Explanation: "In private companies" is more precise than "who work for private companies," and "more than" is the correct phrase to use with numerical comparisons.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the information presented in the chart and table. However, it does not fully address all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends or differences in the data. It also does not adequately highlight the key features of the data. For example, the essay mentions that "more than half of graduated Anthropology students have full-time job," but it does not provide any further details about the types of full-time jobs or the salaries associated with them.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the data. The essay should also highlight the key features of the data, such as the fact that freelance consultants and government sector employees have a higher rate of salary in comparison to private companies. The essay could also be improved by making more comparisons between the different categories of data. For example, the essay could compare the percentage of graduates who are employed full-time to the percentage of graduates who are unemployed.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a notable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to categorize the data into sections, the transitions between ideas are often unclear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, resulting in a repetitive narrative. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not always logical, with some paragraphs lacking a clear central topic. Overall, the essay demonstrates basic coherence but fails to meet the higher standards required for a better band score.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Logical Progression: Ensure that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through each paragraph.
- Cohesive Devices: Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas. Avoid overusing certain phrases and ensure that references are clear.
- Paragraph Structure: Organize paragraphs more effectively, ensuring each one has a distinct main idea that contributes to the overall argument or summary.
- Clarity and Precision: Aim for clearer language and more precise data presentation to avoid confusion and enhance understanding.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey information about the chart and table, there are noticeable errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., "percetage," "goverment," "partime"). The vocabulary used is basic, and there is some repetition, which detracts from the overall effectiveness of the communication. Additionally, the use of phrases like "the rest is for five remaining types of work" lacks clarity and precision. Overall, the lexical resource does not meet the criteria for higher bands due to these limitations.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to expand their vocabulary by incorporating less common lexical items and ensuring accurate word choice. They should also focus on reducing spelling errors and improving the overall variety in vocabulary. Practicing synonyms and collocations relevant to the topic can help convey precise meanings more effectively. Additionally, refining sentence structures and avoiding repetition will contribute to a more sophisticated use of language.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and contains frequent errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they often lack accuracy, and the overall control of grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. For example, phrases like "the rest is for five remaining types of work" and "the percentage of students who choose to have postgraduate course but also a partime job stay in the lowest rank" exhibit grammatical inaccuracies. Additionally, there are spelling errors such as "percetage" and "goverment," which detract from the clarity of the writing.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:
- Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures while ensuring they are grammatically correct.
- Proofreading: Carefully check for spelling and punctuation errors before submission to improve overall clarity.
- Grammar Practice: Engage in exercises that target common grammatical issues, particularly with subject-verb agreement and the use of articles.
- Clarity in Expression: Aim for clearer expression of ideas, ensuring that each sentence conveys its intended meaning without ambiguity.
Bài sửa mẫu
The chart illustrates what Anthropology graduates choose to do after completing their undergraduate degree course at one university. The table provides information about the salaries of anthropologists after five years of work.
At a quick glance, it is clear that more than half of the graduated Anthropology students have full-time jobs, while the remaining graduates are engaged in five other types of work. Moreover, those working as freelance consultants and in the government sector have higher salary rates compared to those in private companies.
On the one hand, full-time work accounts for a significant proportion of the destinations of Anthropology graduates, at 52%. This is followed by part-time work, which comprises less than 37%. Graduates who are unemployed represent 12% of the total. The percentage of students who choose to pursue a postgraduate course while also working part-time is the lowest, at only 5%, whereas graduates who opt for full-time postgraduate study account for slightly more than 7%. Additionally, about 12% of Anthropology graduates do not provide information about their activities.
On the other hand, 40% of freelance consultants earn between $75,000 and $100,000, while only 5% and 15% earn below and above $50,000, respectively. In the government sector, the salary distribution is similar to that of freelance consultants, but there are some differences, with 10% earning $100,000 and 10% earning less than $75,000. Furthermore, 55% of employees in private companies earn more than $75,000, while 45% earn below that amount.
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