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The chart show requests for information at a tourist office in the UK from Jan to Jun

The chart show requests for information at a tourist office in the UK from Jan to Jun

The line chart depicts the number of information requests made in person, by letter or email, and by telephone at a tourist office in the UK during the first six months of the year.
Overall, there is an increase in both in-person and telephone requests, with the former rising from the lowest to the highest and overtaking the latter. In contrast, information requests by letter or email decline throughout the given period.
Information requests in person start at just above 400, the lowest among the three given categories. After this, they rise dramatically, surpassing the other methods within a month, and end the period at the highest figure of nearly 1,900. A similar trend is observed in telephone requests, which decrease slightly in the first month but then witness significant growth, reaching 1,600 by the end of the period.
By contrast, people are less likely to use letters or email to request information, as this is the only method that experiences a downward trend. The figure for letter and email requests declines gradually until March, followed by a sharp drop and leveling off at 400 from May to June.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "the line chart" -> "the line graph"
    Explanation: "Line graph" is a more precise term in academic contexts, as it specifically refers to a graphical representation of data over time, whereas "chart" can be used more broadly to refer to various types of graphical representations.

  2. "made in person, by letter or email, and by telephone" -> "made in person, via letter, or via email, and via telephone"
    Explanation: Using "via" instead of "by" provides a more formal and precise way of describing the methods of communication in an academic context.

  3. "the first six months of the year" -> "the first half of the year"
    Explanation: "The first half of the year" is a more concise and formal way to refer to the initial six months, which is commonly used in academic and professional writing.

  4. "there is an increase" -> "there is a rise"
    Explanation: "A rise" is a more formal and precise term in academic writing, particularly when discussing trends in data.

  5. "the former rising from the lowest to the highest" -> "the former increasing from the lowest to the highest"
    Explanation: "Increasing" is more specific and academically appropriate than "rising," which can be somewhat vague and less formal.

  6. "the latter" -> "the latter method"
    Explanation: Adding "method" clarifies which aspect of the data is being referred to, enhancing clarity and precision.

  7. "decline throughout the given period" -> "decrease throughout the given period"
    Explanation: "Decrease" is a more precise term for describing a reduction in quantity or amount in formal and academic contexts.

  8. "dramatically" -> "markedly"
    Explanation: "Markedly" is a more formal synonym for "dramatically," which is often considered too colloquial for academic writing.

  9. "surpassing the other methods" -> "exceeding the other methods"
    Explanation: "Exceeding" is more formal and precise than "surpassing" in this context, aligning better with academic style.

  10. "people are less likely to use letters or email" -> "fewer individuals opt for letters or email"
    Explanation: "Fewer individuals opt for" is more formal and precise than "people are less likely to use," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  11. "the only method that experiences a downward trend" -> "the sole method exhibiting a decline"
    Explanation: "Sole" and "exhibiting a decline" are more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the statement.

  12. "declines gradually until March, followed by a sharp drop and leveling off at 400" -> "gradually decreases until March, then precipitously drops to 400"
    Explanation: "Precipitously drops" is a more precise and formal way to describe a sudden and significant decrease, and "then" is more formal than "followed by."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng:

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout the response. The central topic of each paragraph is presented effectively, and there is a range of cohesive devices used appropriately. However, there are instances where the cohesion could be improved, particularly in the transitions between some sentences, which may feel slightly mechanical. Overall, the paragraphing is clear, but there could be more variation in the use of cohesive devices to enhance the fluidity of the text.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the variety and naturalness of cohesive devices used. This can be done by incorporating more synonyms and referencing techniques to avoid repetition and improve the flow between sentences. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a more distinct focus could help in managing paragraphing more skillfully.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the information presented in the chart. The use of terms such as "depicts," "dramatically," and "overtaking" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "the lowest among the three given categories," which could be more precisely phrased. Overall, while the vocabulary is adequate and mostly appropriate, there are minor errors that prevent it from reaching a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sophisticated vocabulary and ensure precise word choice throughout the essay. Additionally, practicing the use of uncommon lexical items in context and reviewing collocations could help reduce inaccuracies. Lastly, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors can further strengthen the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors that do not impede communication. For example, the use of phrases like "the lowest among the three given categories" and "a similar trend is observed" indicates a strong command of sentence variety. However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied or complex, which prevents it from reaching a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex and compound sentences. Additionally, minimizing any remaining errors and ensuring that all sentences are error-free will help in achieving a higher band score. Practicing advanced grammatical constructions and reviewing common grammatical pitfalls can also contribute to improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart depicts the number of information requests made in person, by letter or email, and by telephone at a tourist office in the UK during the first six months of the year. Overall, there is an increase in both in-person and telephone requests, with the former rising from the lowest to the highest and overtaking the latter. In contrast, information requests made by letter or email decline throughout the given period.

Information requests made in person start at just above 400, the lowest among the three categories. After this, they rise dramatically, surpassing the other methods within a month, and end the period at the highest figure of nearly 1,900. A similar trend is observed in telephone requests, which decrease slightly in the first month but then experience significant growth, reaching 1,600 by the end of the period.

By contrast, people are less likely to use letters or email to request information, as this is the only method that experiences a downward trend. The figure for letter and email requests declines gradually until March, followed by a sharp drop and leveling off at 400 from May to June.

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