The chart shows the number of cars made in three countries from 2003-2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart shows the number of cars made in three countries from 2003-2009.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates how many cars made in tree countries from 2003-2009.
Overall, what is notable from the chart is that Argentina and Thailand is witnessed upward trend whereas Australia exhibited a contrasting pattern. Among all the countries, Thailand is the most highest during the entire surveyed period.
At the start of the period, Thailand held the highest position,at 748,770, far followed by Australia, with 430,658. At the bottom of the list was Argentina, as its figure stood at 145,930.
From 2003 onwards, the number of cars in Thailand increased dramatically to 1,119,283 in 2006 and decreased slightly to 950,258 in 2009, still ranking first. Meanwhile, in Australian witnessed an downward trend in the number of cars, with a noticeable decrease to 212,647 at the end of the period, remaining as the second. In contrast, there was a descending shifts in the figures in Argentina, with respective data 512,247 in the final year of the surveyed period.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"made in tree countries" -> "produced in three countries"
Explanation: The correct term is "three" instead of "tree," which is a typographical error. "Produced" is more precise than "made" in the context of manufacturing, aligning better with formal academic language. -
"what is notable from the chart" -> "what is evident from the data"
Explanation: "Data" is more specific and appropriate in academic contexts than "chart," which is more general. "Evident" is also more academically formal than "notable," suggesting a clear observation rather than a subjective opinion. -
"is witnessed upward trend" -> "exhibited an upward trend"
Explanation: "Exhibited" is the correct verb to use when describing the display or manifestation of a trend, whereas "witnessed" is incorrect in this context. -
"is the most highest" -> "was the highest"
Explanation: "The most highest" is grammatically incorrect. "Was the highest" corrects this error and maintains the formal tone. -
"at the bottom of the list was Argentina" -> "at the lowest point was Argentina"
Explanation: "At the bottom of the list" is a colloquial expression. "At the lowest point" is more formal and precise, suitable for academic writing. -
"far followed by" -> "significantly lower than"
Explanation: "Far followed by" is an informal and vague phrase. "Significantly lower than" is more precise and appropriate for formal writing, clearly indicating the relative difference. -
"From 2003 onwards" -> "from 2003 onwards"
Explanation: This is a correct and formal way to indicate a time period in academic writing. -
"witnessed an downward trend" -> "experienced a downward trend"
Explanation: "Witnessed" is again incorrect in this context. "Experienced" is the correct verb to use when describing the impact of a trend on a country’s data. -
"descending shifts" -> "declining trends"
Explanation: "Descending shifts" is an awkward and unclear phrase. "Declining trends" is a standard term in statistical analysis, making it more suitable for an academic context.
These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with the standards of academic writing.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, and the data is recounted mechanically. The essay does present some key features, but it inadequately covers them.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features of the data in a more comprehensive way. For example, the essay could state that Thailand had the highest number of cars produced throughout the period, while Australia had the lowest. The essay could also highlight the fact that Thailand’s production increased dramatically from 2003 to 2006, while Australia’s production decreased steadily over the same period. The essay could also provide more specific details about the changes in production in each country, such as the percentage increase or decrease in production.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempt at organizing information, but it lacks overall coherence and progression. Ideas are presented in a somewhat fragmented manner, and there is no clear logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used inadequately; some are inaccurate or repetitive. Paragraphing is inconsistent and does not effectively structure the information.
How to improve:
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Logical Organization: Ensure that the information is logically structured with clear progression throughout the essay. Start with an introduction that summarizes the main features, followed by body paragraphs that logically develop comparisons as relevant.
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Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences. Avoid inaccuracies and repetition. Use a variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and lexical cohesion to create a smoother flow of information.
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Paragraphing: Organize the essay into clear paragraphs that each focus on a central topic or point. Ensure that paragraphs are logically sequenced and develop distinct aspects of the information provided by the chart.
By improving these aspects, the essay can achieve better coherence and cohesion, thereby enhancing clarity and readability for the reader.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a somewhat limited range of vocabulary and there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout. While the essay attempts to convey information about the car production in three countries, it lacks precision and clarity due to errors in language use.
How to improve:
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Vocabulary Range: Work on expanding vocabulary beyond basic terms. Use more varied and precise vocabulary to describe trends and data.
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Accuracy: Pay attention to word choice, spelling, and word formation. Review grammar rules and practice using correct collocations and structures.
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Clarity and Precision: Ensure that each sentence clearly conveys the intended meaning without causing confusion due to language errors.
By focusing on these areas, the essay can achieve a higher band score in Lexical Resource by improving the accuracy and sophistication of its language use.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of structures with numerous grammatical errors and inaccuracies that often hinder communication. There is inconsistency in sentence complexity, and many errors in grammar and punctuation are present throughout the text. The attempt to convey information is impeded by frequent mistakes.
How to improve:
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Sentence Structure: Increase the variety of sentence structures used. Currently, the essay relies heavily on simple sentences, which limits complexity and range.
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Grammar and Accuracy: Focus on improving grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction.
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Punctuation: Work on using punctuation correctly to enhance clarity. Ensure commas, periods, and other punctuation marks are used appropriately.
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Clarity and Coherence: Aim for clearer expression of ideas. Avoid awkward phrasing and ambiguous statements that can confuse the reader.
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Practice Writing: Practice writing essays under timed conditions to improve fluency and coherence. Review and edit your essays to identify and correct recurring errors.
Bài sửa mẫu
The chart illustrates the production of cars in three countries from 2003 to 2009.
Overall, it is evident that Thailand experienced a significant increase in car production throughout the period, while Australia saw a notable decrease. Argentina, on the other hand, showed fluctuating trends.
In 2003, Thailand led with 748,770 cars produced, followed by Australia at 430,658, and Argentina with 145,930 cars. Over the following years, Thailand’s production surged to 1,119,283 cars by 2006, before slightly declining to 950,258 by 2009, maintaining its lead throughout.
Contrastingly, Australia’s car production started at 430,658 in 2003 but steadily declined, reaching a low of 212,647 by the end of the period. This placed Australia consistently in the second position behind Thailand.
Argentina’s car production began at 145,930 cars in 2003 and peaked at 512,247 in the final year of the survey period, although it experienced fluctuations throughout the years.
In conclusion, Thailand emerged as the highest car producer among the three countries throughout the surveyed years, while Australia showed a decreasing trend and Argentina fluctuated in production levels.
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