The chart shows the percentage of children who did not go to school in Vietnam in 2022, categorized by region. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart shows the percentage of children who did not go to school in Vietnam in 2022, categorized by region.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The data of Vietnamese children who did not attend school in 2022 was shown by the given bar chart.

At first glance, we can clearly see that the Southeast and Mekong River Delta took a significant part of the chart while the Red River Delta region held the least proportion of children in all three levels of education.

Looking at the primary school’s numbers, at the number one position, the Southeast region had over a quarter of the total students who skipped school. Standing at 2nd and 3rd place, Northeast-Northwest and Mekong River Delta witnessed a negligible 2% difference. We also have 13% which is the number of students who chose not to attend school in both Central Highlands and North/South Central region. The last place belongs to the Red River Delta with just 5%.

There is quite a distance between the number of students in secondary level. With 37%, the Mekong River Delta has the highest percentage in the given chart. This number was 9 times higher than the percentage of the Red River Delta. Following up, we had the Southeast region in the 2nd position with 22%. Central Highlands held 15% which was immediately followed by 13% of Northwest-Northeast. With 9%, the North/South Central area stood at the 5th spot.

Moving on to the high school level, the Mekong River Delta continued to have the biggest dropout number of students with 31%. A quarter of the bar was held by the Southeast region. There weren’t big differences between the North/South Central, Central Highlands, and the Northwest-Northeast area. The numbers were approximately 12%, The last place once again belonged to the Red River Delta with 8% of children who did not go to school.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The data of Vietnamese children" -> "The data regarding Vietnamese children"
Explanation: Using "regarding" instead of "of" improves the formality of the phrase.
"took a significant part of the chart" -> "constituted a significant portion of the chart"
Explanation: "constituted a significant portion" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea.
"witnessed a negligible 2% difference" -> "experienced a marginal 2% variance"
Explanation: "variance" is more formal and specific than "difference" in this context.
"chose not to attend school" -> "opted out of attending school"
Explanation: "opted out of" is a more formal and descriptive phrase than "chose not to."
"There is quite a distance between the number of students" -> "There is a significant disparity in the number of students"
Explanation: "disparity" is more precise and formal than "distance" in this context.
"Following up, we had the Southeast region in the 2nd position" -> "Following that, the Southeast region ranked second"
Explanation: "ranked second" is a more formal way to express the idea of being in the second position.
"the biggest dropout number of students" -> "the highest dropout rate of students"
Explanation: "dropout rate" is more specific and formal than "dropout number."
"There weren’t big differences between" -> "There were not significant differences among"
Explanation: "significant differences among" is a more formal and precise phrase than "big differences between."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

**Band Score**: 7.0
**Explanation**: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends in children not attending school in Vietnam in 2022. The essay identifies and reports the main features, such as the regions with the highest and lowest percentages of children not attending school, and makes relevant comparisons between regions and education levels.
**How to improve**: To enhance the score to Band 8, the essay could further extend its discussion of key features and provide more detailed comparisons between regions and education levels. Additionally, ensuring all information is accurately presented without any irrelevant details would strengthen the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information by region and education level, with a clear progression from primary school to high school. Each paragraph focuses on a specific region and compares the percentages of children not attending school. The use of cohesive devices such as transition phrases ("At first glance," "Moving on to," "Looking at") helps to guide the reader through the essay. Additionally, there is a clear central topic within each paragraph, focusing on the data for each education level in different regions.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Additionally, consider improving paragraphing by ensuring each paragraph contains a topic sentence that introduces the main idea and supporting sentences that develop that idea cohesively. Also, avoid repetition of phrases like "the given chart" and vary the language for better readability.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. It effectively conveys the main features of the data provided in the chart and makes relevant comparisons between different regions. The writer uses less common lexical items such as "negligible," "proximal," and "dropout," showing some awareness of style and collocation. Although there are occasional errors in word choice and spelling, they do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource further, consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary throughout the essay. Aim for more precise and sophisticated word choices, paying close attention to accuracy in spelling and word formation. Additionally, strive for even greater awareness of style and collocation to convey the message with increased clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, with a variety of complex structures used throughout. The sentences are generally error-free, contributing to effective communication. The essay effectively summarizes the data presented in the chart, providing clear comparisons between regions and different levels of education.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, consider incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated language where appropriate. Additionally, ensure consistency in verb tense usage throughout the essay for smoother readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart illustrates the percentage of children in Vietnam who did not attend school in the year 2022, segmented by region.

Upon initial examination, it is evident that the Southeast and Mekong River Delta regions accounted for significant portions of the data, whereas the Red River Delta region had the lowest proportion of non-attending children across all educational levels.

In terms of primary education, the Southeast region represented the highest percentage of absent students, comprising over a quarter of the total. Following closely were the Northeast-Northwest and Mekong River Delta regions, with a negligible 2% difference between them. The Central Highlands and North/South Central regions both exhibited a 13% non-attendance rate, while the Red River Delta region had the lowest at 5%.

Moving on to the secondary education level, the Mekong River Delta region had the highest dropout rate at 37%, a substantial margin ahead of other regions. The Southeast region followed with 22%, while the Central Highlands, Northwest-Northeast, and North/South Central regions had percentages ranging from 9% to 15%. Once again, the Red River Delta recorded the lowest rate at 1%.

Finally, at the high school level, the Mekong River Delta maintained the highest non-attendance rate at 31%, closely followed by the Southeast region at 25%. The North/South Central, Central Highlands, and Northwest-Northeast regions exhibited similar percentages, ranging from 12% to 13%, while the Red River Delta remained at the bottom with 8%.