The charts below provide information on popular modes of transport in the city of cambridge for the years 2008 and 2018. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. write at least 150 words.

The given pie charts illustrate the proportion of popular modes of transport in the city of Cambridge with the two years of 2008 and 2018.
Overall, while in 2008, cars were appeared to be the most popular means of transport, this trend had changed in the year of 2018 when bicycles dominated the chart at the percentage of 30%.
Regarding the emission-released modes of transport, the percentage of cars and busses leaded the chart of the year of 2008 at 42% and 30%, respectively. However, until 2018, the percentage of cars used on road just dropped by slightly more than two in ten, stood at 20% and being the least popular way of commuting. Besides, the proportion of bikes used on roads also dipped by 5%.
When it comes to environmentally-friendly means of transport, the percentage of bicycle users and walkers only at 28% collectively, which made up of below three in ten people using different transportations on the road in 2008. But this trend had changed substantially in 2018, when the proportion of people working constituted a quarter of the chart, and the percentage of people cycling increased by 13%, which was at 30%, making bicycles most popular modes of transport.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The given pie charts illustrate" -> "The pie charts depicted"
Explanation: "Depicted" is a more precise and formal verb for describing the presentation of data in visual aids like pie charts, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"appeared to be the most popular" -> "were the most popular"
Explanation: Removing "appeared to be" corrects the passive construction to a more direct and assertive statement, which is more suitable for academic writing.
"this trend had changed" -> "this trend shifted"
Explanation: "Shifted" is a more precise and academic term than "changed," which can be vague and less formal.
"at the percentage of 30%" -> "accounting for 30%"
Explanation: "Accounting for" is a more formal and precise way to express the proportion of data in an academic context.
"the percentage of cars and busses leaded" -> "the percentages of cars and buses led"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "busses" to "buses" and changes "leaded" to "led" for grammatical correctness and formality.
"just dropped by slightly more than two in ten" -> "decreased by approximately 20%"
Explanation: "Decreased by approximately 20%" is more precise and avoids the informal and vague "slightly more than two in ten."
"being the least popular way of commuting" -> "the least popular mode of transportation"
Explanation: "Mode of transportation" is a more formal and comprehensive term than "way of commuting," which is less specific and more colloquial.
"the proportion of bikes used on roads also dipped by 5%" -> "the proportion of bicycles used on roads also decreased by 5%"
Explanation: "Decreased" is a more formal synonym for "dipped," and "bicycles" is the correct plural form.
"the percentage of bicycle users and walkers only at 28%" -> "the percentage of bicycle users and pedestrians was 28%"
Explanation: "Was" corrects the grammatical error and "pedestrians" is a more formal term than "walkers."
"made up of below three in ten people" -> "comprised less than one-third of the population"
Explanation: "Comprised less than one-third of the population" is a more precise and formal way to express the proportion, avoiding the colloquial "made up of below three in ten."
"the proportion of people working constituted a quarter of the chart" -> "the proportion of commuters accounted for a quarter of the total"
Explanation: "Commuters" is a more specific term than "people working," and "accounted for" is more formal than "constituted."
"the percentage of people cycling increased by 13%" -> "the percentage of cyclists increased by 13%"
Explanation: "Cyclists" is a more specific term than "people cycling," which is vague and less formal.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the data, but the details are not always relevant or accurate. For example, the essay states that the percentage of cars used on the road dropped by "slightly more than two in ten" between 2008 and 2018, but the actual drop was closer to 22%. The essay also states that the percentage of people cycling increased by 13% between 2008 and 2018, but the actual increase was closer to 12%.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. The writer should also avoid using vague language, such as "slightly more than two in ten" and "substantially changed." Instead, the writer should use specific numbers and percentages to support their claims.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to compare the data from 2008 and 2018, the transitions between ideas are not always smooth, leading to some confusion. The use of cohesive devices is evident, but there are instances of inadequate and inaccurate usage, such as "the percentage of cars used on road just dropped by slightly more than two in ten," which could be clearer. Additionally, the paragraphing is present but not always logical, as some ideas could be better grouped together for clarity.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating clearer topic sentences for each paragraph that directly relate to the main features being discussed. Improving the logical flow of ideas through better transitions and avoiding repetitive phrases will also help. Furthermore, ensuring that cohesive devices are used appropriately and effectively will strengthen the overall clarity of the essay. Finally, organizing the information into well-defined paragraphs that group similar ideas together will improve the overall structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "emission-released modes of transport" and "environmentally-friendly means of transport," but there are inaccuracies and awkward phrases that detract from clarity. For example, "were appeared to be" is incorrect and should be "appeared to be." Additionally, phrases like "the percentage of cars used on road just dropped by slightly more than two in ten" could be more clearly expressed. There are some spelling and grammatical errors, such as "lead" instead of "led," and "the least popular way of commuting," which may cause some difficulty for the reader but do not completely impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and appropriately. This includes avoiding awkward constructions and ensuring correct word forms. Additionally, practicing the use of synonyms and less common lexical items in context can help improve precision and fluency. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors before submission would also be beneficial.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms with some attempts at complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as "were appeared" instead of "appeared," "lead" instead of "led," and awkward phrasing like "the year of 2018." These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning. Additionally, punctuation issues are present, which further detracts from the overall clarity of the writing.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences. It is also essential to proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and improve punctuation. Practicing with more varied vocabulary and ensuring proper verb forms will contribute to clearer communication and a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given pie charts illustrate the proportion of popular modes of transport in the city of Cambridge for the years 2008 and 2018. Overall, while in 2008, cars were the most popular means of transport, this trend changed in 2018 when bicycles dominated the chart at a percentage of 30%.

Regarding the emission-releasing modes of transport, the percentages of cars and buses led the chart in 2008 at 42% and 30%, respectively. However, by 2018, the percentage of cars used on the road dropped by slightly more than two in ten, standing at 20% and becoming the least popular way of commuting. Additionally, the proportion of bicycles used on the roads also dipped by 5%.

In terms of environmentally-friendly modes of transport, the percentage of bicycle users and walkers was only 28% collectively, which accounted for less than three in ten people using different modes of transport on the road in 2008. However, this trend changed substantially in 2018, when the proportion of people walking constituted a quarter of the chart, and the percentage of people cycling increased by 13% to reach 30%, making bicycles the most popular mode of transport.