The charts below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2000 and 2010, with projected sales for 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The given bar chart illustrates how many magazines sold per person in different nation from 2000 to 2010 with the projection of revenues for 2020.
Overall, it is apparent that country B had the highest magazines sold between 2000 and 2010 while country E possessed the lowest statistics among the five different countries.
Specifically, Country B accounted a half of the total sale on magazines in the year 2000, which was about 50% higher than that of the second-higher seller – country A, with nearly 48%. Meanwhile, the number of magazines sold per person in country C and D were significantly lower at approximately 47% and 18% respectively, which were around 2 times lower than that of country B.
Regarding the changes over the years, the figures of country declined steadily over the 10-year-period to about 45% in 2020. Moreover, country A and C experienced a slight drop in sales over 10 years whereas country D displayed a general upward trend throughout the studied period, rising to more than 20% in 2020.

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Errors and Improvements:

"nation" -> "nations"
Explanation: "Nations" is the correct plural form of "nation" when referring to multiple countries.
"Specifically, Country B accounted a half" -> "Specifically, Country B accounted for half"
Explanation: "Accounted for" is the appropriate phrasing to indicate responsibility or contribution.
"second-higher" -> "second-highest"
Explanation: "Second-highest" is the correct term to compare the rank of countries in terms of magazine sales.
"significantly lower" -> "considerably lower"
Explanation: "Considerably" adds emphasis and sophistication to the comparison of magazine sales.
"around 2 times lower" -> "approximately half"
Explanation: "Approximately half" provides a clearer and more precise comparison of the sales figures.
"Regarding the changes over the years, the figures of country declined steadily" -> "Regarding the changes over the years, the figures for each country declined steadily"
Explanation: Adding "for each country" clarifies that the decline is specific to each nation, not a general decline.
"experienced a slight drop" -> "experienced a marginal decline"
Explanation: "Marginal decline" conveys a subtle decrease, adding nuance to the description of sales changes.
"displayed a general upward trend" -> "exhibited a consistent upward trend"
Explanation: "Exhibited a consistent upward trend" provides a more precise description of the sales trend in country D.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information provided in the charts regarding the number of magazines sold per person in five countries from 2000 to 2010, with projections for 2020. It presents an overview of the main trends and makes relevant comparisons between the countries. Key features such as the highest and lowest selling countries, as well as changes over the years, are adequately highlighted.
How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more specific details and avoid vague language. Additionally, it could offer a more thorough analysis of the data by discussing potential reasons for the trends observed, such as economic factors or changes in reading habits. Furthermore, ensuring accuracy in data interpretation and avoiding grammatical errors would enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay arranges information coherently, presenting a clear overall progression. It effectively summarizes the data from the charts, discussing the trends in magazine sales per person over the specified time frames and making comparisons between the countries. The essay uses cohesive devices adequately, aiding in the flow of ideas. However, there are some instances where cohesion within or between sentences could be improved for smoother transitions. The use of paragraphing is evident, although some paragraphs could be more logically organized.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and follows a logical progression of ideas. Additionally, vary the use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition and create smoother connections between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, incorporating a mix of common and less common lexical items. There is an attempt to convey meaning using varied vocabulary, such as "nation" instead of "country" and "revenues" instead of "sales," though some inaccuracies and awkward word choices are present, such as "possessed" instead of "had" and "accounted a half" instead of "accounted for half." Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling, such as "nation" instead of "nations" and "declined" instead of "declining."

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on using more precise and appropriate vocabulary throughout the essay. Avoid awkward word choices and inaccuracies in word formation. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors can also enhance clarity and communication. Furthermore, strive for consistency in tense usage to maintain coherence in the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good range of complex structures, such as the use of relative clauses ("the figures of country declined steadily over the 10-year-period") and comparative structures ("which was about 50% higher than that of the second-higher seller – country A"). There are also instances of accurate punctuation and grammar, contributing to the clarity of communication. However, there are a few errors present, such as "Country B accounted a half" (missing article "for") and "the figures of country" (missing article "the" before "country").

How to improve:
To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, focus on consistently applying articles ("a", "the") where necessary and ensure subject-verb agreement. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors can further refine the essay’s clarity. Continuing to use a variety of complex structures will also strengthen the overall linguistic sophistication.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar charts depict the sales of magazines per capita across five nations from 2000 to 2010, along with projected figures for 2020.

Overall, it is evident that Country B witnessed the highest magazine sales from 2000 to 2010, while Country E had the lowest sales among the five nations.

To specify, in 2000, Country B accounted for half of the total magazine sales, approximately 50% higher than the second-highest seller, Country A, which recorded nearly 48%. In contrast, Countries C and D had considerably lower sales, approximately 47% and 18% respectively, representing around a two-fold difference from Country B.

Regarding the changes over the decade, Country B experienced a steady decline in sales, reaching about 45% in 2020. Additionally, Countries A and C saw a slight decrease in sales over the same period, while Country D exhibited a general upward trend, reaching over 20% in 2020.