The charts show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how they rated the hotel’s customer service. The same questionnaire was given to 100 guests in the years 2005 and 2010.

The pie graph depicts the comparison between customer’s reactions to the Parkway Hotel’s service in two specific years 2005 and 2010.

Overall, there was a significant decrease in the proportion of satisfactory, poor and very poor experience after a five-year period, while an opposite trend can be seen in the rates of excellent and good. Additionally, the majority of customers gave a “satisfactory” response in the initial year, however, the majority felt that the customer service was “good” five years later.

The statistics of hotel’s visitors rating its customer service excellent starting at 5%, after which it experienced a fivefold rise in 2010, with 28%. Moreover, only 14% of the customers rated the service good in 2005, then subsequently increased roughly three times to 39% in the following five years. The number of satisfactory responses plummeted from 45% to 17% over the period.

The figures for guests who considered the hotel’s customer service was poor approximately halved, reaching a final fall at 12%. Very poor experience saw a similar trend, but to a smaller extent, which dropped by roughly 4 times and ending at 4% in 2010.

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Errors and Improvements:

"the comparison between customer’s reactions" -> "the comparison of customer reactions"
Explanation: Using "between" suggests a comparison between two separate entities, while "of" is more appropriate when referring to the elements within a single group, such as customer reactions in this context.
"proportion of satisfactory, poor and very poor experience" -> "proportion of satisfactory, poor, and very poor experiences"
Explanation: Placing "experience" after each adjective clarifies that each category refers to a type of experience, making the sentence more grammatically correct.
"an opposite trend can be seen in the rates" -> "a contrasting trend is evident in the rates"
Explanation: "Opposite" is somewhat informal and lacks precision, while "contrasting" is more precise and formal in academic or analytical writing.
"the majority of customers gave a “satisfactory” response" -> "most customers responded ‘satisfactorily’"
Explanation: Using "responded" instead of "gave" adds variety to the language and maintains a formal tone. Also, "satisfactorily" is more adverbially precise than "satisfactory."
"starting at 5%" -> "commencing at 5%"
Explanation: "Commencing" is a more formal synonym for "starting," which elevates the language.
"experienced a fivefold rise" -> "witnessed a fivefold increase"
Explanation: "Experienced" is a bit generic, while "witnessed" adds a sense of observation or acknowledgment. "Increase" is more specific than "rise" in this context.
"subsequently increased roughly three times" -> "subsequently tripled"
Explanation: "Tripled" is a concise and more precise way to convey a threefold increase.
"plummeted" -> "plummeted"
Explanation: "Plummeted" is an appropriate and advanced term for a sharp decrease, so no change is necessary here.
"considered the hotel’s customer service was poor" -> "considered the hotel’s customer service to be poor"
Explanation: Adding "to be" clarifies the structure and makes the sentence grammatically correct.
"Very poor experience saw a similar trend, but to a smaller extent" -> "The very poor experience exhibited a comparable trend, albeit to a lesser degree"
Explanation: The revised sentence maintains clarity while using more precise language and a formal tone.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay provided generally satisfies the requirements for Band 7 in the IELTS Task 1 scoring criteria. It offers a clear overview of the main trends, showing the shift in customer satisfaction levels over the five years at the Parkway Hotel. The candidate successfully presents key features of the data, like the significant increase in ‘excellent’ and ‘good’ ratings and the corresponding decrease in ‘satisfactory’, ‘poor’, and ‘very poor’ ratings. However, while the essay highlights these key changes, it could benefit from a more developed explanation of these trends and their implications to fully extend the response.

How to improve:
To aim for a higher band score, consider the following improvements:

More Detailed Analysis: Extend the analysis by comparing data points more directly and offering possible reasons for these trends, while still sticking to factual reporting.
Data Support: Enhance the presentation by specifying more precisely how the percentages changed year over year, possibly including an additional summary or conclusion that encapsulates all the data trends observed.
Clearer Structure: Improve the organization of the essay by clearly separating observations about each category of customer feedback to avoid any potential confusion and make the information more digestible for the reader.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas, providing a clear progression throughout. It introduces the topic effectively by summarizing the key points of the charts and presents a clear central topic within each paragraph. The sequencing of information is logical, starting with an overview and then delving into specific details. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to connect ideas and maintain coherence. The essay effectively manages paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the data presented.

How to improve:
To further improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a smoother transition between sentences and paragraphs. Use a wider range of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay. Additionally, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. There is effective use of vocabulary related to describing trends and data, such as "proportion," "statistics," "experienced a fivefold rise," and "plummeted." The essay also utilizes less common vocabulary items, like "halved" and "roughly," which contribute to conveying precise meanings. Additionally, there is an attempt to use varied sentence structures and transitional phrases, enhancing lexical resource. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "halved" and "roughly" in the same sentence, which could slightly affect coherence.

How to improve:
To enhance lexical resource further and achieve a higher band score, strive for more consistency in word choice and collocation. Additionally, aim for greater sophistication in vocabulary usage, particularly in transitions and the expression of complex ideas. Reviewing for minor errors in word choice and collocation could also improve precision and clarity in conveying ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing a variety of structures to convey information effectively. There is an attempt to incorporate complex sentences, such as "Overall, there was a significant decrease in the proportion of satisfactory, poor and very poor experience after a five-year period, while an opposite trend can be seen in the rates of excellent and good." However, there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied to enhance the overall fluency and coherence of the essay. Grammatically, the majority of sentences are error-free, but there are some instances where errors occur, such as in the sentence: "Overall, there was a significant decrease in the proportion of satisfactory, poor and very poor experience after a five-year period, while an opposite trend can be seen in the rates of excellent and good." Additionally, there are some punctuation errors throughout the essay.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance fluency and coherence. Additionally, thorough proofreading to correct punctuation errors and ensure grammatical accuracy is recommended.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided charts illustrate the responses of Parkway Hotel visitors to a questionnaire regarding their perception of the hotel’s customer service in the years 2005 and 2010.

Overall, there was a notable shift in the distribution of customer ratings over the five-year period. While the proportions of satisfactory, poor, and very poor experiences declined significantly, conversely, there was an increase in the percentages of excellent and good ratings. Initially, the majority of guests rated the service as "satisfactory," whereas five years later, "good" emerged as the predominant response.

In 2005, only 5% of respondents rated the customer service as excellent, a figure that experienced a substantial fivefold increase to 28% by 2010. Similarly, the proportion of guests who rated the service as good rose from 14% in 2005 to 39% in 2010, nearly tripling in magnitude. Conversely, the percentage of satisfactory responses declined from 45% to 17% over the same period.

Furthermore, the proportion of guests who perceived the customer service as poor approximately halved, culminating in a final rate of 12% in 2010. A similar but less pronounced trend was observed for very poor experiences, which decreased by approximately fourfold, concluding at 4% in 2010.