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The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The bar chart depicts the world exportation of pineapple by the top three countries which produced pineapple in 2009 and 2019, while the pie chart displays a breakdown of the cost to the consumer per pineapple in 2019.
Overall, it is evident that country B had the highest exportation among three countries examined in 2009, then it had been overtaken by country A in 2019. Moreover, the cost to the consumer was mostly spent on distribution and retail in 2019.
Firstly, country B had exported the highest number of pineapple in 2009, which was above 4 million metric tonnes, however, it saw a decrease to under 2 million metric tones in 2019. Notably, the exportation of country A had significantly increased in 2019, which was over 10 million metric tonnes of pineapple exported, compared to only approximately 1 million metric tonnes in 2009, made it became the highest pineapple exportation country in 2019. However, the exportation of country C was relatively small, compared to the other countries examined.
Secondly, the cost to the consumer in 2019 was mostly spent on distribution and retail, which accounted for more than a third. In contrast, the two lowest expenditure was belonged to producer and export costs, which made up 5 and 4 percent, respectively. It is also noteworthy that the expenditure of international transport, import licenses, profit and taxes ranged from 10% to 18%.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. “exportation” -> “export”
    Explanation: Replacing “exportation” with “export” is more concise and widely used, contributing to a clearer and more natural expression in the context of trade and commerce.
  2. “it had been overtaken by country A in 2019” -> “it was surpassed by country A in 2019”
    Explanation: Substituting “had been overtaken” with “was surpassed” maintains past tense while using a more straightforward and active construction, enhancing the overall clarity and precision of the statement.
  3. “Notably, the exportation of country A had significantly increased in 2019” -> “Significantly, country A experienced a substantial increase in exports in 2019”
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for better flow and clarity, using “experienced a substantial increase” provides a more dynamic and precise description of the growth in country A’s exports.
  4. “made it became the highest pineapple exportation country” -> “making it the leading exporter of pineapples”
    Explanation: Adjusting the phrase to “making it the leading exporter of pineapples” improves grammatical correctness and conveys the idea more smoothly, maintaining a formal tone.
  5. “was relatively small, compared to the other countries examined” -> “was comparatively modest compared to the other countries under consideration”
    Explanation: Substituting “relatively small” with “comparatively modest” and “examined” with “under consideration” elevates the formality of the language and provides a more nuanced expression of the comparison.
  6. “In contrast, the two lowest expenditure was belonged to producer and export costs” -> “Contrastingly, the lowest expenditures were attributed to production and export costs”
    Explanation: Replacing “two lowest expenditure was belonged to” with “lowest expenditures were attributed to” improves grammar and enhances precision, resulting in a more polished and accurate representation of the information.
  7. “It is also noteworthy that the expenditure of international transport, import licenses, profit and taxes ranged from 10% to 18%” -> “Additionally, it is noteworthy that expenditures on international transport, import licenses, profit, and taxes ranged from 10% to 18%”
    Explanation: Adjusting the sentence structure for better coherence and formality, using “expenditures on” instead of “expenditure of” and reordering the elements contributes to a more organized and refined expression.

 

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends in world pineapple exports by the top three producing countries in 2009 and 2019. The comparison of export figures and the breakdown of consumer costs is appropriately addressed. Key features and bullet points are presented, but there is room for a more extended development of certain points.

How to improve:
Consider providing more detailed information and analysis of the trends observed in the charts. Expand on why country A experienced a significant increase in exportation in 2019 and why country B’s exportation decreased. Additionally, ensure that the explanation of the consumer cost breakdown is more fully extended. Provide further insights into the implications of the data, making the analysis more robust and comprehensive.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a generally coherent and logically organized structure. There is a clear introduction that outlines the purpose of the charts, and the main features are highlighted in the body paragraphs. The sequencing of information is adequate, with a progression from discussing the pineapple exports to the breakdown of costs. The use of cohesive devices is effective in connecting ideas within sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as in the phrase “made it became,” and the use of pronouns without clear antecedents.

Paragraphing is used, but there is room for improvement. The transition between the discussion of pineapple exports and the breakdown of costs could be smoother, and some paragraphs lack a clear topic sentence. Additionally, the conclusion is somewhat abrupt and could be more developed.

How to improve:

  1. Refine Sentence Structure: Ensure sentences are grammatically sound and avoid awkward constructions. In particular, watch for errors like “made it became” and strive for clarity.
  2. Enhance Paragraphing: Work on creating more cohesive and logically structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, and transitions between paragraphs should be seamless.
  3. Develop the Conclusion: Provide a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the key findings and leaves a lasting impression. Consider connecting the conclusion back to the main points discussed in the body of the essay.
  4. Use Pronouns Carefully: When using pronouns, ensure there is a clear antecedent to avoid confusion. In the sentence “made it became,” it is unclear what “it” refers to, leading to a lack of precision in expression.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary, using a varied range of words with an attempt to convey precise meanings. There is a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow for flexibility and precision, and the writer uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. While occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation are present, they do not significantly impede communication.

The essay effectively describes the main features of the charts and makes relevant comparisons. It uses terminology such as “exportation,” “metric tonnes,” “expenditure,” and appropriately conveys the trends in pineapple exports for the top three countries. The writer also uses a variety of sentence structures to present the information.

However, some language choices could be refined for greater accuracy and sophistication. For instance, the phrase “made it became the highest pineapple exportation country in 2019” could be improved to enhance fluency and precision.

How to improve:

  1. Strive for more precise and nuanced language choices to convey ideas.
  2. Pay attention to sentence structures for improved fluency and coherence.
  3. Review and correct occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation to enhance overall lexical accuracy.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good control of grammar and punctuation, utilizing a variety of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the essay effectively communicates the main features and comparisons in the given charts. However, there are a few errors and instances of awkward phrasing that slightly affect clarity.

How to improve:

  1. Sentence Structure: Continue to incorporate a variety of complex structures, but pay attention to sentence clarity. Some sentences could be rephrased for better readability.
  2. Word Choice: Review word choices for precision. For instance, “made it became” can be revised to “resulting in it becoming” for smoother expression.
  3. Grammar: Ensure consistency in verb tense. For example, “had been overtaken” could be revised to “was overtaken” for better alignment with the time frame of the charts.
  4. Clarity: Be mindful of clarity in expression. For instance, the phrase “it is evident that country B had the highest exportation among three countries examined” can be simplified to “Country B had the highest export in 2009.”

Overall, the essay is well-structured and effectively communicates the main features, with minor improvements needed to enhance clarity and precision in language use.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an enhanced version of the provided IELTS Task 1 report:


The bar charts illustrate the global pineapple exports by the leading three producing nations in 2009 and 2019, while the pie chart delineates the cost breakdown per pineapple to the consumer in 2019.

Overall, a notable shift in pineapple export dominance is observed, with Country A surpassing Country B in 2019. Additionally, the cost distribution for consumers in 2019 predominantly focused on distribution and retail expenditures.

To begin, in 2009, Country B held the highest pineapple exports, exceeding 4 million metric tonnes. However, by 2019, this figure plummeted to below 2 million metric tonnes. In contrast, Country A experienced a substantial surge in exports, surpassing 10 million metric tonnes in 2019, marking a significant rise from approximately 1 million metric tonnes in 2009. Meanwhile, Country C exhibited a comparably modest export volume throughout both years.

Moving on to consumer costs in 2019, distribution and retail accounted for the largest share, comprising more than a third of the total expenditure. In contrast, producer and export costs constituted a mere 5% and 4%, respectively. Notably, international transport, import licenses, profit, and taxes collectively ranged between 10% to 18% of the consumer expenditure.

In conclusion, the shift in pineapple export dominance from Country B to Country A in 2019 is evident, while consumer costs predominantly centered on distribution and retail expenses, underscoring the significant aspects of global pineapple trade.


This revised version maintains the original data points, improves sentence structures, and enhances clarity while adhering to the standard IELTS Task 1 format.

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