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The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. Do the advantages of having one language in the world outweigh the disadvantages.

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally.
Do the advantages of having one language in the world outweigh the disadvantages.

As tousim is ameliorated worldwide, English has become the most dominant language in the world. Many think that this tendency could result in English becoming the single spoken language globally. My firm conviction is that the merits of this could overshadow its demerits.

On the negative side, emerging only one language for global citizens to use could lead to the limit of cultural diversity. It is generally conceived that any nation's language is correlated to its unique religions on grounds that language can reflect religions and vice versa. Therefore, the altogether use of a specific language confine the richness of national indentity. To demonstrate, without the disparity of languages, individuals from every area in the world cannot discern between their cultures and others from the rest, obscuring innumerable quintessence of humanity.

However, I feel it is judicious to make allowances for the benefits of speaking only one language universally. One optimal advantage could be that this lays solid foundation for people's easy integration into other foreign communities. Since a language is utilized on a global scale, foreigners when coming to other countries could simply refrain from language barriers as well as misunderstanding. This, thus, could facilitate them in blending into an alien setting rapidly. Following this, political concerns and multilateral agreements would be smoothed their ways to be internationally resolved quicker than ever. Irrespective of cutting-edge rendition machines, manifold languages in a cosmopolitan conference could potentially lead to misinterpretation amongst nations. This underscores the demand for a joint language, namely English.

In summation, it is abundantly clear that the utilisation of a language in the world could exhibit both positive and adverse sides. My stance expresses that the benefits of this could be more superior than its demerits.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "tousim" -> "tourism"
    Explanation: Replacing the misspelled "tousim" with "tourism" corrects the spelling error and enhances the essay’s overall professionalism and accuracy.

  2. "ameliorated" -> "expanded" or "grown"
    Explanation: While "ameliorated" is not necessarily incorrect, using "expanded" or "grown" in the context of tourism worldwide provides a more straightforward and commonly used term, aligning better with academic style.

  3. "Many think that" -> "It is widely believed that" or "There is a prevailing belief that"
    Explanation: Substituting "Many think that" with "It is widely believed that" or "There is a prevailing belief that" adds formality and academic precision to the expression.

  4. "single spoken language" -> "universal spoken language"
    Explanation: Changing "single spoken language" to "universal spoken language" maintains clarity while introducing a more formal term, emphasizing the global nature of the language.

  5. "firm conviction" -> "strong belief" or "assertion"
    Explanation: Replacing "firm conviction" with "strong belief" or "assertion" provides a more formal tone and aligns with academic writing conventions.

  6. "demerits" -> "drawbacks" or "disadvantages"
    Explanation: Substituting "demerits" with "drawbacks" or "disadvantages" enhances the essay’s formality and aligns with more commonly used academic vocabulary.

  7. "negative side" -> "downside" or "disadvantage"
    Explanation: Changing "negative side" to "downside" or "disadvantage" maintains formality while offering alternatives that are more commonly used in academic contexts.

  8. "emerging only one language" -> "the emergence of only one language"
    Explanation: Adjusting "emerging only one language" to "the emergence of only one language" improves the grammatical structure of the sentence and adds clarity.

  9. "conceived" -> "believed" or "argued"
    Explanation: Substituting "conceived" with "believed" or "argued" provides a more direct and commonly used term in academic writing.

  10. "correlated to" -> "linked to" or "associated with"
    Explanation: Changing "correlated to" to "linked to" or "associated with" maintains the meaning while using more standard and formal language.

  11. "indentity" -> "identity"
    Explanation: Correcting the misspelled "indentity" to "identity" addresses the spelling error and enhances the overall professionalism of the essay.

  12. "quintessence" -> "essence"
    Explanation: Replacing "quintessence" with "essence" simplifies the expression without sacrificing meaning, making the language more accessible and suitable for academic writing.

  13. "judicious" -> "reasonable" or "prudent"
    Explanation: Substituting "judicious" with "reasonable" or "prudent" maintains the intended meaning while using more commonly understood and formal terms.

  14. "optimal advantage" -> "significant benefit" or "prime advantage"
    Explanation: Changing "optimal advantage" to "significant benefit" or "prime advantage" introduces more formal language without losing the intended meaning.

  15. "lays solid foundation" -> "provides a solid foundation"
    Explanation: Adjusting "lays solid foundation" to "provides a solid foundation" improves the sentence’s structure and maintains a formal tone.

  16. "easy integration" -> "seamless integration"
    Explanation: Replacing "easy integration" with "seamless integration" adds a more sophisticated touch while preserving the meaning in the context of people integrating into foreign communities.

  17. "refrain from" -> "avoid"
    Explanation: Changing "refrain from" to "avoid" simplifies the expression while maintaining a formal tone and clarity in conveying the idea of overcoming language barriers.

  18. "irrespective of" -> "regardless of"
    Explanation: Substituting "irrespective of" with "regardless of" is a more formal and commonly used expression in academic writing.

  19. "cosmopolitan conference" -> "international conference"
    Explanation: Adjusting "cosmopolitan conference" to "international conference" simplifies the term without sacrificing meaning, aligning better with academic language.

  20. "abundantly clear" -> "evident" or "clear"
    Explanation: Changing "abundantly clear" to "evident" or "clear" maintains the emphasis on clarity while using more standard and formal language.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "My firm conviction is that the merits of this could overshadow its demerits."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: The introduction sets a clear position, which is a positive aspect. However, it lacks a preview of the main points that will be discussed. To enhance clarity, it would be beneficial to briefly outline the key arguments or examples that will support the stance taken in the essay. This would assist in structuring the essay more explicitly, aiding the reader in following the line of reasoning.
    • Improved example: "My firm conviction is that while the unification of language might have drawbacks, its benefits significantly outweigh them. This essay will explore the advantages of a global language, including enhanced communication and smoother international relations, despite the potential cultural impacts."
  2. Quoted text: "It is generally conceived that any nation’s language is correlated to its unique religions on grounds that language can reflect religions and vice versa."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: This paragraph delves into the cultural impact, linking language to religion. However, the argument lacks depth and clarity. To strengthen this point, consider providing specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate how language and religion are intertwined in various cultures. For instance, discussing how certain religious texts or rituals are intrinsically tied to particular languages could bolster your argument.
    • Improved example: "Languages often serve as vehicles for religious scriptures and ceremonies. For instance, Sanskrit in Hinduism or Arabic in Islam not only encapsulate religious teachings but also embody the cultural and spiritual essence of these faiths. This interconnectedness signifies how language and religion coalesce to define a nation’s identity."
  3. Quoted text: "Irrespective of cutting-edge rendition machines, manifold languages in a cosmopolitan conference could potentially lead to misinterpretation amongst nations."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestion: While acknowledging the potential for misinterpretation due to diverse languages is valid, the mention of "cutting-edge rendition machines" could be unclear. It’s recommended to expand on this point or provide a more relatable example to illustrate how language diversity might lead to misinterpretation despite technological advancements. Elaborating on instances or scenarios where language barriers persist despite technological aids could strengthen this argument.
    • Improved example: "Despite advancements in translation technology, multilingual conferences or diplomatic negotiations might still encounter pitfalls due to nuances, idiomatic expressions, and cultural references that automated tools may not accurately capture. For instance, a subtle cultural reference in one language might be lost in translation, potentially altering the intended message and leading to misunderstandings among nations."

Overall, the essay maintains a stance throughout and attempts to address the topic, although some ideas lack depth and examples to fully support the arguments. Strengthening each point with specific examples and deeper explanations would elevate the essay’s coherence and persuasive strength.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. The writer generally organizes ideas coherently, and there is a clear overall progression in the response. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion contribute to a logical flow. The essay uses cohesive devices effectively, although there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences is faulty or mechanical. For example, there are some issues with sentence structure and word choices that impact the overall coherence.

Paragraphing is used, but not always logically. The third paragraph, for instance, introduces a new idea abruptly, impacting the flow. Despite these concerns, the essay maintains a clear central topic within each paragraph, contributing to coherence.

Referencing and substitution are used, but there is room for improvement. The writer attempts to express ideas with some organization, but there is a lack of precision in language that affects clarity. There are minor inaccuracies and repetitions that slightly hinder the overall cohesion of the essay.

How to improve:

  1. Refine sentence structure and word choices to enhance coherence within and between sentences.
  2. Ensure a more logical organization of paragraphs to improve overall flow.
  3. Be mindful of accuracy and avoid unnecessary repetitions for clearer referencing.
  4. Consider a smoother transition between ideas to strengthen overall cohesion.
  5. Proofread to eliminate grammatical errors that may affect coherence.

By addressing these aspects, the essay can elevate its coherence and cohesion to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies. The essay makes some errors in spelling and word formation, but they do not significantly impede communication.

The essay employs a variety of vocabulary to convey ideas, and there is an effort to incorporate less common lexical items. However, there are notable language issues throughout the essay. For instance, there are spelling errors such as "tousim" instead of "tourism" and "ameliorated" instead of "expanded." Additionally, there are issues with word formation, such as "indentity" instead of "identity."

Despite these language challenges, the essay still manages to convey the intended message and presents a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of a single global language. The vocabulary used, while not entirely precise, allows for a reasonable level of flexibility and precision.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, focus on improving accuracy in word choice, spelling, and word formation. Proofread the essay to correct spelling errors and ensure proper word usage. Additionally, strive for a more varied and sophisticated use of vocabulary to elevate the overall lexical quality. Consider using more precise and contextually appropriate words to convey ideas effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and while there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they rarely impede communication. The author attempts to use a variety of structures, but there are noticeable language errors that affect clarity.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Punctuation: The essay would benefit from a thorough proofread to correct grammatical errors, such as "tousim" instead of "tourism," "ameliorated" instead of "amplified," and "indentity" instead of "identity." Punctuation issues, such as missing commas and inconsistent use of capitalization, need attention.

  2. Sentence Structure: Aim for greater clarity and precision in expressing ideas. For instance, the phrase "the altogether use of a specific language confine the richness of national indentity" could be improved for better coherence.

  3. Vocabulary and Word Choice: Use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of expression. For example, replacing "firm conviction" with "strong belief" and "judicious" with "reasonable" would improve the essay’s tone.

  4. Cohesion: Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay. This will contribute to a more coherent and organized presentation of ideas.

By addressing these areas, the essay has the potential to move to a higher band score by demonstrating a more sophisticated use of language and improved overall clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

As tourism flourishes globally, English has emerged as the predominant language worldwide. Some anticipate this trend could culminate in English becoming the sole global language. I firmly believe that the advantages of such a scenario could outweigh its drawbacks.

On the downside, having only one language for global communication might diminish cultural diversity. It is widely understood that a nation’s language is intricately linked to its unique customs and beliefs; language can mirror religions, and vice versa. Consequently, the exclusive use of a specific language may curtail the richness of national identity. For instance, without linguistic variations, individuals worldwide might struggle to distinguish and appreciate the diverse cultures, obscuring countless facets of humanity.

However, it is prudent to consider the benefits of a universal language. A significant advantage could be the facilitation of people’s seamless integration into foreign communities. With a global language in place, foreigners visiting other countries could effortlessly navigate linguistic barriers, minimizing misunderstandings. This, in turn, could expedite their assimilation into unfamiliar environments. Furthermore, diplomatic issues and international agreements could be resolved more efficiently. Despite the existence of advanced translation tools, the presence of multiple languages in a cosmopolitan setting might still lead to misinterpretations between nations. This underscores the necessity for a common language, namely English.

In conclusion, the use of a single global language presents both positive and negative aspects. My stance asserts that the benefits of this scenario could outweigh its drawbacks.

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