fbpx

The diagram below shows the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given picture displays the manufacturing process of pineapple products, including both cultivation and preparation procedures.
Overall, there are two main phases in this process. The pineapples are grown and end them being used for distinct purposes.
Regarding the first segment of this diagram, each pineapple is planted separately at 26cm at a temperature of approximately 23 to 30 degrees Celsius for around 7 months. Subsequently, pineapples are continually grown for another 5 months with the help of Ethylene. After that period, the pineapples are expected to be 30 cm high and weigh 2kg before they can be produced as a product.
In terms of the second part, all the pineapples go through the cleaning process and are then categorized by their sizes. The small pineapples’ have their crowns chopped and then their skin peeled before they transform into juice in the extractor. The medium-size pineapples are also the same as the previous one, except they are cut into particles and turned into canned food. Finally, unlike the other two, the large pineapples are initially waxed and then placed in a barrier to export all around the globe.


 

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. “end them being used” -> “ultimately used”
    Explanation: “End them being used” is an awkward construction. “Ultimately used” succinctly conveys the final purpose without using a convoluted phrase.
  2. “each pineapple is planted separately at 26cm” -> “each pineapple is individually planted at a depth of 26cm”
    Explanation: Adding “individually” emphasizes that each pineapple is planted separately, and specifying the depth enhances clarity regarding the planting process.
  3. “pineapples are continually grown” -> “pineapples continue to grow”
    Explanation: The term “continually grown” might imply a continuous action, whereas “continue to grow” denotes an ongoing process without interruption.
  4. “the pineapples are expected to be 30 cm high” -> “the pineapples are anticipated to reach a height of 30 cm”
    Explanation: Using “anticipated to reach a height of 30 cm” provides a more formal tone and clarity regarding the expected height of the pineapples.
  5. “categorized by their sizes” -> “sorted according to their sizes”
    Explanation: “Sorted according to their sizes” is a more formal and precise phrase, conveying the process of organizing pineapples based on their dimensions.
  6. “The small pineapples’ have their crowns chopped” -> “The small pineapples have their crowns removed”
    Explanation: “Crown chopped” is an unusual expression. “Crown removed” is clearer and more standard terminology for eliminating the crown of a pineapple.
  7. “then placed in a barrier to export” -> “then packed in containers for export”
    Explanation: “Placed in a barrier” is unclear and not idiomatic. “Packed in containers for export” specifies a more understandable and typical process for preparing large pineapples for exportation.

 

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the main stages in the process of growing and preparing pineapples and pineapple products. The information is appropriately selected, covering both cultivation and preparation procedures. Key features and bullet points are presented, such as the planting and growth stages, the cleaning process, and the different uses for small, medium, and large pineapples.

How to improve:
To enhance the Task Achievement score, the essay could benefit from a more detailed and extended presentation of key features. For instance, providing additional details about the cultivation process, such as specific growth conditions and any challenges involved, would contribute to a more comprehensive response. Additionally, a more thorough exploration of the preparation procedures, especially for medium-sized pineapples used for canned food, could further improve the essay. Focus on expanding key points while ensuring accuracy and relevance.

 

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and cohesion. There’s a discernible attempt to organize ideas, with clear progression in discussing the two main phases of the pineapple production process. The essay maintains a consistent flow, transitioning from the cultivation phase to the preparation phase. The use of cohesive devices aids in connecting some ideas, although there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences appears a bit mechanical or faulty.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on refining the connection between sentences. Ensure smoother transitions between ideas by using a wider variety of cohesive devices more effectively. Additionally, work on paragraph structure to create more distinct divisions between the phases of cultivation and preparation, enhancing the logical organization of information.

 

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision, placing it in Band 7. The writer effectively communicates the process of growing and preparing pineapples, using a variety of terms related to cultivation and processing. There is an attempt to incorporate less common lexical items, such as “Ethylene” and “extractor,” contributing to the overall vocabulary range. The writer shows awareness of style and collocation, presenting ideas in a coherent manner. While there are some errors in word choice and word formation (e.g., “end them being used” could be improved to “ultimately used,” and “pineapples’ have” should be “pineapples have”), they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively conveys the main features of the process with clarity.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim for more accurate word choice and refined word formation. Proofreading for minor errors in sentence construction and grammar will contribute to a smoother flow of ideas. Additionally, introducing a wider range of vocabulary, especially in describing the preparation phase, can further elevate the lexical richness of the essay.

 

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex ones, such as “Subsequently, pineapples are continually grown for another 5 months with the help of Ethylene.” There is a variety of sentence structures throughout, and the majority are error-free. However, there are some instances of minor errors, such as “end them being used” and “all the pineapples go through the cleaning process.” These errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and phrasing. In the first sentence, consider revising to “The given diagram illustrates the process of cultivating and preparing pineapple products.” Additionally, proofread to catch minor errors and improve overall clarity.

 

Bài sửa mẫu

Revised IELTS Task 1 Report:

The provided illustration delineates the step-by-step process involved in the cultivation and preparation of pineapple products. In essence, the entire process can be segmented into two primary phases, each serving a distinct purpose.

Commencing with the initial phase depicted in the diagram, individual pineapples are meticulously planted at a depth of 26cm, maintaining a temperature range of approximately 23 to 30 degrees Celsius for an extended period of 7 months. Subsequently, a continuous growth phase of 5 months ensues, facilitated by the introduction of Ethylene. At the conclusion of this growth period, the pineapples are expected to reach a height of 30cm and a weight of 2kg, marking the point at which they become viable for production as distinct products.

Moving on to the subsequent stage, all harvested pineapples undergo a thorough cleaning process and are subsequently categorized based on their sizes. The smaller pineapples undergo a process wherein their crowns are removed, followed by the peeling of their skin. These processed pineapples are then transformed into juice through an extractor. Similarly, the medium-sized pineapples undergo a parallel process, albeit with the distinction of being cut into smaller particles, ultimately destined to be packaged as canned food. In contrast, the larger pineapples undergo an initial waxing process, subsequently being placed in a protective barrier for global exportation.

In summary, the entire process involves the meticulous cultivation of pineapples, followed by a rigorous preparation phase that tailors the end product based on the size classification of the fruit.

Bài viết liên quan

Phản hồi

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

119K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

149K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

299K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K

159K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K

199K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

  • Hoàn tiền 30 ngày

    Bạn được đảm bảo trong 30 ngày đầu tiên được phép hoàn tiền bất kỳ lúc nào với bất kỳ lý do nào.

VIP

499K

399K/th

Learner

  • 10 bài chấm/ ngày

  • Tốc độ trả bài chậm

  • Có thể không truy cập được ở giờ cao điểm

Plus

199K/th

  • Không giới hạn bài chấm

  • Tốc độ trả bài nhanh hơn

  • Truy cập 24/7

Best for Teacher

Premium

249K/th

  • Gói Plus

  • Hỗ trợ kĩ thuật

  • Xuất file Word/Google Docs kèm comments: Link Demo

    - Bài chấm sẽ dc xuất kèm comments gợi ý vocab
    - File Word có thể dc up lên Google Docs và các comments sẽ dc giữ nguyên
    - Các comments có thể dc chỉnh sửa theo ý muốn của gv
    - File Word cá nhân hóa & White label

VIP

499K/th

  • Everthing in Premium

  • Hand Writing Image Recognition

  • Better Accuracy with GPT-4

  • Early Access to New features

    - Speaking Feedback

  • Customization

    We help with minor customizations to get it working just right.

  • Support Development of New Features

    • Speaking Practice
    • Classroom Management (e.g., Google Class Room)
    • Reading Practice
    • Listening Practice