The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as bottles, are produced and recycled. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The diagrams below show how glass containers, such as bottles, are produced and recycled.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
The pictures portray the tomato ketchup-producing process.
Overall, the production of tomato ketchup consists of fifteen steps, from harvesting tomatoes manually to consuming finished product as a sauce in some meals.
The two initial steps are to crop ripe tomatoes by hand, keep them in baskets and classify them into groups, inferior and high quality tomatoes. The process continues when tomatoes that meet the standards are transferred to a factory to eliminate stalks, seeds and skin. After that, those collected tomatoes are put into a container and crushed into tomato liquid before adding various spices such as sugar, vinegar and salt. Following that, to mix the aromatic flavors with the tomato liquid, the mixture is boiled and the left to rest for two hours.
At the following stage of the process, after tomato ketchup is cooled and spilled into bottle, those tasty ketchup are labelled with the name tag. Subsequently, the tomato ketchup is verified the quality by the profession and packaged into boxes. The process ends when those goods are carried to supermarket and sold to the consumers to use it with many kinds of food.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The pictures portray the tomato ketchup-producing process." -> "The images depict the tomato ketchup production process."
Explanation: "Depict" is a more precise term than "portray" in this context, and "production process" is more formal than "producing process." -
"consists of fifteen steps" -> "involves fifteen stages"
Explanation: "Involves" is more commonly used in academic writing to describe complex processes, and "stages" is a more precise term than "steps" in this context. -
"from harvesting tomatoes manually to consuming finished product as a sauce in some meals" -> "from manual harvesting of tomatoes to the consumption of the finished product as a sauce in various meals"
Explanation: "Manual harvesting of tomatoes" clarifies the method, and "various meals" is more specific and formal than "some meals." -
"crop ripe tomatoes by hand" -> "harvest ripe tomatoes manually"
Explanation: "Harvest" is more specific to the agricultural context, and "manually" is a more formal synonym for "by hand." -
"keep them in baskets and classify them into groups, inferior and high quality tomatoes" -> "store them in baskets and categorize them into inferior and high-quality categories"
Explanation: "Store" is more precise than "keep," and "categorize" is more formal than "classify." Also, "high-quality" should be hyphenated for grammatical correctness. -
"those collected tomatoes are put into a container and crushed into tomato liquid" -> "the collected tomatoes are placed in a container and crushed into a liquid form"
Explanation: "Placed" is more formal than "put," and "liquid form" is a more precise description than "tomato liquid." -
"adding various spices such as sugar, vinegar and salt" -> "adding various spices including sugar, vinegar, and salt"
Explanation: "Including" is more formal and precise than "such as," which can imply randomness rather than a comprehensive list. -
"the mixture is boiled and the left to rest for two hours" -> "the mixture is boiled and then left to rest for two hours"
Explanation: "Then" is more precise and formal than "the left," which is incorrect grammatically. -
"At the following stage of the process, after tomato ketchup is cooled and spilled into bottle, those tasty ketchup are labelled with the name tag." -> "Subsequently, after the tomato ketchup has cooled and been filled into bottles, the labeled products are inspected for quality."
Explanation: "Subsequently" is a more formal transitional phrase, and "filled into bottles" is more precise than "spilled into bottle." Also, "the labeled products are inspected for quality" corrects the awkward and incorrect original phrase. -
"verified the quality by the profession" -> "verified by quality control professionals"
Explanation: "Verified by quality control professionals" is more specific and formal, avoiding the awkward and unclear "verified the quality by the profession." -
"those goods are carried to supermarket and sold to the consumers to use it with many kinds of food" -> "these products are transported to supermarkets and sold to consumers for use with various types of food"
Explanation: "Transported" is more formal than "carried," and "various types of food" is more precise than "many kinds of food."
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 3
Band Score: 3
Explanation: The essay does not address the task. The essay describes the process of making tomato ketchup, which is not related to the task prompt. The essay does not mention any of the key features of the diagrams, such as the materials used in glass production, the stages of glass recycling, or the different processes involved.
How to improve: The essay needs to be completely rewritten to address the task prompt. The writer should focus on summarizing the information presented in the diagrams, highlighting the main features of each process. The essay should also use clear and concise language, and avoid irrelevant details.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information about the tomato ketchup production process, but it lacks clear overall progression and organization. While it attempts to outline the steps involved, the sequencing of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and there are instances of inadequate referencing. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, leading to some confusion in the flow of information. Additionally, paragraphing is not effectively utilized, as the essay is presented as a single block of text rather than distinct paragraphs that clearly separate different stages of the process.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific stage of the production process. This will help create a logical flow of information. Additionally, using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will improve the connections between sentences and ideas. Ensuring that referencing is clear will also aid in maintaining clarity throughout the essay. Finally, reviewing the overall structure to ensure that each step logically follows the previous one will contribute to a more cohesive response.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it conveys the main features of the process, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and spelling (e.g., "the left to rest" should be "left to rest," "those tasty ketchup" should be "that tasty ketchup"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader, impacting the overall clarity of the description. Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, which detracts from the fluency and coherence of the writing.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items relevant to the topic. This could involve using synonyms or more precise terms to describe the process (e.g., "harvesting" instead of "cropping," "packaged" instead of "carried to supermarket"). Additionally, focusing on correct word forms and ensuring grammatical accuracy will help improve clarity and coherence. Practicing with varied sentence structures and expanding vocabulary through reading and writing exercises can also contribute to a higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences. While there are attempts at more complex structures, they are often inaccurate or awkwardly phrased, which affects clarity. Frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("the left to rest" should be "left to rest") and issues with subject-verb agreement ("those tasty ketchup are labelled" should be "that tasty ketchup is labelled"), can cause some difficulty for the reader. Punctuation errors are also present, which further detracts from the overall accuracy.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of grammatical structures by incorporating more complex sentences and ensuring accuracy in their use. This includes practicing subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and punctuation. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors and awkward phrasing can enhance clarity and coherence. Engaging with varied sentence structures in writing practice will also help improve grammatical range and accuracy.
Bài sửa mẫu
The pictures portray the tomato ketchup-producing process.
Overall, the production of tomato ketchup consists of fifteen steps, from harvesting tomatoes manually to consuming the finished product as a sauce in various meals.
The two initial steps involve cropping ripe tomatoes by hand, placing them in baskets, and classifying them into two groups: inferior and high-quality tomatoes. The process continues when the tomatoes that meet the standards are transferred to a factory to eliminate stalks, seeds, and skin. After that, the collected tomatoes are put into a container and crushed into tomato liquid before adding various spices such as sugar, vinegar, and salt. Following that, to mix the aromatic flavors with the tomato liquid, the mixture is boiled and then left to rest for two hours.
At the next stage of the process, after the tomato ketchup is cooled and poured into bottles, the tasty ketchup is labeled with a name tag. Subsequently, the tomato ketchup is verified for quality by a professional and packaged into boxes. The process ends when these goods are transported to supermarkets and sold to consumers for use with many kinds of food.
Phản hồi