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The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the design for a wind
turbine and its location.
Summarise the information by selecting
and reporting the main features, and make
comparisons where relevant.

These provided diagrams illustrate the structure of a machine which is manufactured electricity mainly form wind.

Overall, it can be seen that the machine was composed of two parts. Furthermore, there are three positions that wind turbines can be placed.

First, the wind turbine consists of a steel tower and the turbine. The starting point occurs when the wind hits the blades which are made from fiberglass or wood and connected to the generator. In the next stage, wind sensor is controlled by computer to adjust the blade’s speed and direction. As the result, the rotational force is then transferred to the turbine and ultimately converted into electrical energy.

According to the diagram, there are three possible placements for this tool. The first is the one built in deep water, which is not affected by the landscape. The second one is built near the house with the output of 100 kilowatts. The other installation is on the top of high hill, which receives the strongest wind strength. Consequently, this wind turbine will produce the highest output which is 1.5 megawatts.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "manufactured electricity mainly form wind" -> "manufactured electricity primarily from wind"
    Explanation: Replacing "mainly form" with "primarily from" improves the precision and formality of the statement.

  2. "Overall, it can be seen that the machine was composed of two parts." -> "Overall, it is evident that the machine comprises two components."
    Explanation: Replacing "it can be seen that" with "it is evident that" enhances clarity and uses a more assertive tone.

  3. "wind turbines can be placed" -> "wind turbines can be positioned"
    Explanation: "Placed" is a common word; replacing it with "positioned" adds variety and a touch of formality to the language.

  4. "The starting point occurs when the wind hits the blades" -> "The initiation takes place when the wind impacts the blades"
    Explanation: Using "initiation" instead of "starting point" and "impacts" instead of "hits" elevates the language, making it more sophisticated.

  5. "which are made from fiberglass or wood and connected to the generator" -> "constructed from fiberglass or wood and linked to the generator"
    Explanation: Replacing "made from" with "constructed from" and "connected" with "linked" provides a more precise description, avoiding repetition.

  6. "wind sensor is controlled by computer" -> "wind sensor is computer-regulated"
    Explanation: Using "computer-regulated" instead of "controlled by computer" is more concise and maintains the formal tone.

  7. "As the result" -> "As a result,"
    Explanation: Correcting the phrase to "As a result," ensures grammatical accuracy and smooth flow.

  8. "According to the diagram, there are three possible placements for this tool." -> "The diagram illustrates three potential locations for this device."
    Explanation: Replacing "placements" with "locations" and restructuring the sentence for clarity and conciseness.

  9. "which is not affected by the landscape" -> "unaffected by the terrain"
    Explanation: Substituting "not affected by the landscape" with "unaffected by the terrain" provides a more specific and refined description.

  10. "The second one is built near the house with the output of 100 kilowatts." -> "The second one is installed in proximity to a residence with an output of 100 kilowatts."
    Explanation: Using "installed" instead of "built near" and rephrasing for precision and formality.

  11. "on the top of high hill" -> "atop a high hill"
    Explanation: "On the top of" can be succinctly replaced with "atop" for a more sophisticated expression.

  12. "Consequently, this wind turbine will produce the highest output which is 1.5 megawatts." -> "Consequently, this wind turbine will yield the maximum output of 1.5 megawatts."
    Explanation: Substituting "produce the highest output which is" with "yield the maximum output of" enhances clarity and formality.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task requirements by providing an overview of the wind turbine structure and its three possible locations. The description of the turbine’s components and the process of generating electricity is clear but lacks depth. Key features, such as the materials used and the computer-controlled adjustments, are presented but could be more fully extended to meet higher band criteria. The information on the three placements is provided, but the details are somewhat basic and lack thorough development.

How to improve:

  1. Expand on turbine components: Provide more details about the steel tower, blades, and generator. Explain the significance of using materials like fiberglass or wood.

  2. Enhance process explanation: Elaborate on the process of electricity generation, giving more information about how the wind sensor controls the blade’s speed and direction. Clarify the steps involved in the conversion of rotational force into electrical energy.

  3. Deepen placement descriptions: Provide more in-depth information about each placement option, including advantages and disadvantages. Explain why deep water, near houses, or high hills are chosen locations. Include additional relevant details to make the comparisons more thorough.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents some organization, detailing the turbine’s components and placements. However, there’s a lack of clear progression in information delivery. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, with occasional repetition and inadequate referencing, affecting overall coherence. Paragraph structure exists but lacks logical coherence at times.
How to improve: Work on ensuring a clearer flow of ideas by connecting sentences and paragraphs logically. Use cohesive devices consistently and accurately to link ideas. Ensure referencing and substitution to avoid repetition. Revisit paragraph structure to enhance logical progression.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay attempts to address the main features of the wind turbine and its locations. It presents a basic understanding of the turbine’s structure and placement options. There is an effort to describe the components of the turbine and its function, such as the blades, wind sensor, and the generation of electrical energy. Additionally, it briefly highlights the three locations where wind turbines can be installed, mentioning their varying outputs.

However, the vocabulary range is limited, and the language lacks sophistication. There are repetitive phrases and a reliance on basic vocabulary. While the essay conveys the main points, it does so in a somewhat simplistic manner. There are noticeable errors in word choice and expression, hindering precision and clarity in conveying information.

How to improve:

  1. Expand the vocabulary range to include more varied and precise terminology related to wind turbines, energy generation, and technical components.
  2. Aim for greater coherence and cohesion in presenting ideas, avoiding repetition and enhancing the flow of information.
  3. Work on using less common vocabulary and more sophisticated language structures to improve overall lexical resource. Practice using synonyms and diverse lexical items to express ideas with nuance and precision.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There is a reasonable attempt to use a variety of structures, including subordinate clauses. The overall communication is clear, and the essay conveys the main features of the wind turbine and its location. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the overall fluency and precision of the language. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, word choice, and sentence structure.

How to improve:

  1. Grammar and Sentence Structure: Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. For example, in the sentence "Overall, it can be seen that the machine was composed of two parts," consider a more concise structure like "The machine comprises two main parts."

  2. Word Choice and Phrasing: Choose precise and appropriate vocabulary. For instance, instead of "machine which is manufactured electricity mainly form wind," consider "machine that generates electricity primarily from wind."

  3. Proofreading: Carefully proofread the essay to catch errors in grammar and punctuation. The sentence "The starting point occurs when the wind hits the blades" could be revised to "The process begins when the wind strikes the blades."

  4. Clarity and Cohesion: Ensure that ideas flow smoothly. In the sentence "In the next stage, wind sensor is controlled by computer to adjust the blade’s speed and direction," consider rephrasing for clarity, such as "Subsequently, a computer-controlled wind sensor adjusts the blade’s speed and direction."

Overall, the essay provides a satisfactory level of grammatical range and accuracy but would benefit from more attention to detail in terms of language precision and fluency.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagrams depict the design of a wind turbine and its potential locations. Overall, the turbine comprises two main components, and there are three possible sites for installation.

The wind turbine itself is comprised of a robust steel tower and a turbine unit. The process initiates as the wind interacts with blades constructed from either fiberglass or wood, linked to a generator. Subsequently, a wind sensor, controlled by a computer, regulates the speed and orientation of the blades. This adjustment facilitates the transfer of rotational force to the turbine, culminating in the conversion of energy into electricity.

The first illustration indicates three plausible locations for the wind turbine. Firstly, a deep-water installation is highlighted, unaffected by the surrounding landscape. The second option involves situating the turbine in proximity to residential areas, boasting an output capacity of 100 kilowatts. Lastly, an elevated installation atop a high hill capitalizes on the strongest wind currents, resulting in the highest output of 1.5 megawatts.

In summary, the wind turbine’s fundamental structure involves a steel tower and blades, while its potential locations encompass deep water, residential proximity, and elevated hilltops, each with varying energy output capacities.

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