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The diagrams below show the life cycle of a lady bird and its anatomy.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a lady bird and its anatomy.

The chart gives information about the life cycle of a lady bird and the anatomy of a lady bird. Overall, there are two linear process include first chart are 4 stages in it, second chart is described inside a lady bird.
To begin with, we will explore the life cycle of a lady bird. First phase is called egg stage, this animal gives birth on the leaf, that phase need to 2–5 days. The second phase is larval stage, the newly hatched larva is in its first instar, it eats more until it grows too big and this process takes 21 days. The third phase is pupa stage, which stages that animal remains still, attched to a leaf. It need to 7 days completely. And the final phase is adult lady bug.
Next, we will be seen the anatomy of a lady bird. It have 3 department. The first one is head, which include anatenna, eyes. The second one is thorax like pronotum, legs, wings. The wings have 2 kinds: red elytra has spotted outer wings, hind wings. And the final department is abdomen.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "gives information about" -> "presents information regarding"
    Explanation: "Presents" is more formal and precise than "gives," while "regarding" is a more academic alternative to "about."

  2. "two linear process include first chart are 4 stages in it, second chart is described inside a lady bird." -> "two linear processes: the first chart illustrates four stages, while the second chart depicts the anatomy of a ladybird."
    Explanation: "Processes" should be plural to match "two." "Illustrates" and "depicts" are more precise verbs than "include" and "described," enhancing clarity and formality.

  3. "this animal gives birth on the leaf" -> "this species lays eggs on leaves"
    Explanation: "Species" is more scientifically accurate than "animal," and "lays eggs" is a more precise description of reproduction than "gives birth." "Leaves" is plural to reflect the natural habitat.

  4. "that phase need to 2–5 days" -> "this phase requires 2 to 5 days"
    Explanation: "Requires" is a more formal verb than "need," and "2 to 5 days" is clearer than "2–5 days," improving readability.

  5. "the newly hatched larva is in its first instar, it eats more until it grows too big" -> "the newly hatched larva enters its first instar, during which it consumes food until it reaches a larger size"
    Explanation: "Enters" is a more precise verb than "is in," and "consumes food" is more formal than "eats more." "Reaches a larger size" improves clarity.

  6. "which stages that animal remains still, attched to a leaf" -> "during which the organism remains stationary, attached to a leaf"
    Explanation: "During which" provides a clearer temporal context, "organism" is more formal than "animal," and "stationary" is a more precise term than "still." Additionally, "attached" is corrected from "attched."

  7. "It need to 7 days completely" -> "This stage requires a complete duration of 7 days"
    Explanation: "Requires" is more formal than "need," and "a complete duration of" clarifies the time frame.

  8. "the final phase is adult lady bug" -> "the final phase is the adult ladybird"
    Explanation: "The adult ladybird" is more grammatically correct and consistent with the previous use of "ladybird."

  9. "we will be seen the anatomy of a lady bird" -> "we will examine the anatomy of a ladybird"
    Explanation: "Examine" is a more formal and precise verb than "be seen," enhancing the academic tone.

  10. "It have 3 department" -> "It has three main components"
    Explanation: "Has" is the correct form for the singular subject, and "three main components" is more precise and formal than "3 department."

  11. "which include anatenna, eyes" -> "which includes antennae and eyes"
    Explanation: "Includes" should agree with the singular subject, and "antennae" is the correct plural form of "antenna."

  12. "like pronotum, legs, wings" -> "such as the pronotum, legs, and wings"
    Explanation: "Such as" is more formal than "like," and adding "the" before the nouns improves specificity.

  13. "The wings have 2 kinds: red elytra has spotted outer wings, hind wings." -> "The wings consist of two types: red elytra, which have spotted outer wings, and hind wings."
    Explanation: "Consist of" is more formal than "have," and restructuring the sentence improves clarity and flow.

  14. "the final department is abdomen" -> "the final component is the abdomen."
    Explanation: "Component" is more precise than "department," and adding "the" before "abdomen" improves grammatical correctness.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the information presented in the diagrams. Instead, it recounts details mechanically, with no clear overview. The essay also presents, but inadequately covers, key features/bullet points. For example, the essay mentions that the ladybird has three departments, but it does not provide any further details about these departments.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the information presented in the diagrams. The essay should also provide more details about the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could provide more information about the different stages of the ladybird’s life cycle, or it could provide more details about the anatomy of the ladybird. The essay should also avoid using informal language, such as "we will be seen" and "It have 3 department." Instead, the essay should use formal language, such as "we will observe" and "It has three departments."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the life cycle and anatomy of a ladybird, the transitions between stages and sections are not smooth, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the relationships between ideas. Additionally, while the essay attempts to use paragraphs, the structure is not always logical, and some paragraphs lack a clear central topic.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using clearer transitions between stages of the life cycle and the anatomy sections. More varied and accurate cohesive devices should be employed to connect sentences and paragraphs effectively. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and is logically structured will improve the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the life cycle and anatomy of a ladybird, the vocabulary used is often basic and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in word choice (e.g., "this animal gives birth on the leaf" instead of "lays eggs on the leaf") and inaccuracies in spelling and word formation (e.g., "attched" instead of "attached," "anatenna" instead of "antenna"). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the criteria for a Band 5 score.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and incorporate less common lexical items. This can be achieved by practicing synonyms and more precise terms related to biology. Additionally, focusing on correct spelling and grammatical structures will improve clarity and reduce errors. Engaging with academic texts on the topic could also help in acquiring more sophisticated vocabulary and expressions.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("is called," "it have"), missing articles, and issues with subject-verb agreement ("this animal gives birth on the leaf"). These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the text. While the essay does convey the intended information, the inaccuracies in grammar and punctuation detract from its overall clarity and coherence.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

  1. Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate more complex sentences and varied sentence beginnings to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.
  2. Subject-Verb Agreement: Ensure that subjects and verbs agree in number and tense.
  3. Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules, particularly with commas and periods, to improve readability.
  4. Proofreading: Review the essay for common grammatical errors and correct them before submission. This will help in producing more error-free sentences.

Bài sửa mẫu

The chart provides information about the life cycle of a ladybird and its anatomy. Overall, there are two linear processes depicted: the first chart illustrates the four stages of the ladybird’s life cycle, while the second chart describes its internal structure.

To begin with, we will explore the life cycle of a ladybird. The first phase is called the egg stage, during which the ladybird lays eggs on a leaf; this phase lasts for 2 to 5 days. The second phase is the larval stage, where the newly hatched larva enters its first instar. It consumes food voraciously until it grows sufficiently, and this process takes 21 days. The third phase is the pupa stage, during which the ladybird remains still, attached to a leaf. This stage lasts for 7 days in total. The final phase is the adult ladybird.

Next, we will examine the anatomy of a ladybird. It consists of three main parts. The first part is the head, which includes antennae and eyes. The second part is the thorax, which comprises the pronotum, legs, and wings. The wings are of two types: the red elytra, which has spotted outer wings, and the hind wings. The final part is the abdomen.

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