The expansion of multinational companies and increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In this day and age, there is a blooming trend of globalization all over the world which gives rise to the spreading out of multinational enterprises that fabricate some beneficial aspects for neighboring citizens. From my perspective, I strongly advocate of this issue for the reason that it generate a numorous merits for people in these host countries, particularly in terms of economic growth and supplying an abundance of resources.
First and foremost, there is no denying that the increasingly of worldwide business will convey more and more value in nation, predominantly through the investment of multinational corporations. It’s not only enrich the economic development but also create a wide range of jobs for local wage earners. Especially reduce poverty and eradicate hunger for some countries are undeveloped. It’s mean that shrinking the amount of jobless and offering a good salary for regional population. They will properly have an increasing high level of living standards which make social- welfare and GDP rate of this nation much more better. Furthermore, this alteration has ramifications for trading goods and services between a lot of countries without political’s boundaries and waning the taxation. Moreover, when it comes to trading goods, the country obviously has a plenty of chances for reaching a numorous divergent markets as well as it’s customer base and cater to diverse audiences.
Another point in this case to make is that nation can be easily accessed to a multitude of sources such as goods, services, modern technology,… during this globalization. Multinational corperations are often at the forefront of technology innovation which is faciliated the transfer of knowledge and technology. A prime example of this is Iphone was supplied from America to Viet Nam for user’s demands. Local populations can be accessed to all items that the country wouldn’t have. It is not without proof that participating in globalization and cooperating with large corperation worldwide brings prosperity swfitly and development in all aspects.
In a nutshell, I totally concur to this statement be owing to a great deal of beneficial aspects available for nation such as job opportinities creation, economic growth and a reservoirs of products from another countries by the enhancement of multinational companies and increase in globalization.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In this day and age" -> "Currently"
Explanation: "Currently" is a more concise and formal alternative to the colloquial "In this day and age," which is better suited for academic writing.
"blooming trend" -> "growing trend"
Explanation: "Growing trend" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "blooming trend," which is somewhat metaphorical and less formal.
"spreading out of" -> "spread of"
Explanation: "Spread of" is a more direct and formal expression than "spreading out of," which is somewhat awkward and informal.
"fabricate some beneficial aspects" -> "create several beneficial aspects"
Explanation: "Create" is more accurate and formal than "fabricate," which can imply deception or falsification, which is not intended here.
"I strongly advocate of this issue" -> "I strongly advocate for this issue"
Explanation: "For" is the correct preposition to use with "advocate," not "of."
"it generate a numorous merits" -> "it generates numerous merits"
Explanation: "Generates" should be used as a verb, and "numerous" should be used as an adjective to modify "merits," not "numorous," which is a typographical error.
"the increasingly of worldwide business" -> "the increasing global business"
Explanation: "The increasing global business" is grammatically correct and more formal than "the increasingly of worldwide business."
"It’s not only enrich the economic development" -> "It not only enriches economic development"
Explanation: "Enriches" should be the singular form to agree with "It," and "economic development" should not be modified by "the."
"create a wide range of jobs for local wage earners" -> "create a wide range of jobs for local wage-earners"
Explanation: "Wage-earners" is the correct compound noun form, and the hyphen is necessary for grammatical accuracy.
"reduce poverty and eradicate hunger for some countries are undeveloped" -> "reduce poverty and eradicate hunger in some underdeveloped countries"
Explanation: "In some underdeveloped countries" is grammatically correct and more precise than "for some countries are undeveloped," which is awkward and unclear.
"It’s mean that shrinking the amount of jobless" -> "This means reducing the number of jobless"
Explanation: "This means" is grammatically correct, and "reducing the number of jobless" is clearer and more formal than "shrinking the amount of jobless."
"a plenty of chances" -> "a multitude of opportunities"
Explanation: "A multitude of opportunities" is more formal and precise than "a plenty of chances," which is colloquial.
"numorous divergent markets" -> "numerous diverse markets"
Explanation: "Numerous" is the correct form, and "divergent" is not the correct term here; "diverse" is more appropriate.
"nation can be easily accessed to" -> "nations can easily access"
Explanation: "Nations can easily access" corrects the awkward and incorrect phrase "nation can be easily accessed to."
"faciliated the transfer of knowledge and technology" -> "facilitate the transfer of knowledge and technology"
Explanation: "Facilitate" should be the base form to agree with the present tense, and "facilitate" is the correct verb form for this context.
"I totally concur to this statement" -> "I fully concur with this statement"
Explanation: "Fully concur with" is grammatically correct and more formal than "totally concur to," which is incorrect.
"be owing to a great deal of beneficial aspects" -> "due to numerous beneficial aspects"
Explanation: "Due to" is the correct preposition, and "numerous" is more formal than "a great deal of," which is somewhat vague and informal.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by arguing in favor of the positive effects of globalization and multinational companies. The author clearly states their position in the introduction and supports it with relevant points about economic growth and resource availability. However, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the negative aspects of globalization, which would provide a more balanced view and fully address the "to what extent" aspect of the question.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider briefly acknowledging counterarguments or potential downsides of globalization, such as cultural homogenization or exploitation of labor. This would demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and provide a more comprehensive answer to the prompt.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The position is generally clear, as the writer consistently advocates for the benefits of globalization and multinational corporations. Phrases like "I strongly advocate of this issue" and "I totally concur" reinforce the author’s stance. However, there are moments where the phrasing is awkward, such as "be owing to a great deal of beneficial aspects," which could confuse readers about the position.
- How to improve: To maintain clarity, the writer should use straightforward language and avoid convoluted phrases. Additionally, reiterating the main argument in the conclusion with a strong statement could further solidify the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as job creation and access to technology, which are relevant to the argument. However, the support for these ideas could be stronger. For example, while the author mentions job creation, they do not provide specific examples or data to illustrate the extent of this impact. The example of the iPhone is somewhat vague and lacks depth.
- How to improve: The writer should aim to provide more concrete examples and data to substantiate their claims. Including statistics on job creation or specific case studies of countries that have benefited from multinational corporations would enhance the argument’s credibility and depth.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay largely stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of globalization and multinational corporations. However, there are instances of slight digression, such as the mention of "political’s boundaries and waning the taxation," which could confuse readers about how this directly relates to the benefits discussed.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly ties back to the central argument. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall thesis without introducing unrelated ideas.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear position, it would benefit from a more balanced exploration of the prompt, clearer language, stronger supporting evidence, and tighter focus on the main argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument in favor of the positive effects of globalization and multinational companies. The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs generally follow a logical progression. For instance, the first paragraph discusses economic growth and job creation, while the second focuses on access to resources and technology. However, there are moments where the flow could be improved, such as the abrupt transition between discussing job creation and the benefits of technology transfer, which could confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clearer topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, employing transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "Conversely") can help guide the reader through the argument more smoothly and connect ideas more effectively.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of the argument, contributing to overall coherence. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. For example, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on economic growth and job creation, and another on the implications for trade and market access. This would allow for a more in-depth exploration of each point.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea supported by relevant details. Aim for a consistent structure within paragraphs, starting with a topic sentence, followed by supporting evidence, and concluding with a sentence that ties back to the main argument. This will help reinforce the clarity and focus of each paragraph.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "first and foremost," "moreover," and "in a nutshell," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be clearer. For example, the phrase "It’s mean that shrinking the amount of jobless" lacks clarity and could benefit from a more explicit connection to the previous sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "in contrast," "as a result," "for instance," and "therefore." Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used correctly and appropriately to maintain clarity. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help improve their effectiveness in your writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, enhancing the logical flow, paragraph structure, and use of cohesive devices will contribute to achieving a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with phrases like "blooming trend of globalization," "multinational enterprises," and "economic growth." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the term "nation" is used multiple times without synonyms, which can make the writing feel monotonous. Additionally, phrases such as "numorous merits" and "a multitude of sources" could be expressed with more varied vocabulary to enhance engagement.
- How to improve: To improve vocabulary range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "nation," alternatives like "country," "state," or "society" could be employed. Additionally, using more descriptive adjectives or adverbs can enrich the text, such as replacing "good salary" with "competitive salary" or "substantial salary."
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "generate a numorous merits" should be "generate numerous merits," as "numorous" is a misspelling of "numerous." Similarly, "the increasingly of worldwide business" is awkward and should be "the increase in worldwide business." The phrase "a great deal of beneficial aspects available for nation" is also vague and could be more specific.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on correct word forms and collocations. Reviewing common phrases and ensuring that words are used in their correct forms will help. For example, instead of "the increasingly of worldwide business," the writer could use "the increasing prevalence of global business." Additionally, using specific examples and clearer expressions can improve precision, such as specifying what "beneficial aspects" are being referred to.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "numorous" (numerous), "corperations" (corporations), "faciliated" (facilitated), "opportinities" (opportunities), and "swfitly" (swiftly). These errors can distract the reader and undermine the overall quality of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular practice, such as using spelling apps or tools that provide feedback on common errors. Additionally, proofreading the essay carefully before submission can help catch these mistakes. Reading the essay aloud can also assist in identifying words that do not look right, as the auditory feedback may highlight errors that are overlooked visually.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a clear argument, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling will enhance the overall quality of the writing and potentially raise the band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but it primarily relies on simple and compound sentences. For instance, phrases like "there is a blooming trend of globalization" and "this alteration has ramifications for trading goods" show an attempt at complexity. However, the use of more complex structures is limited, and many sentences are awkwardly constructed, such as "I strongly advocate of this issue for the reason that it generate a numorous merits." This indicates a lack of sophistication in sentence formation, which affects the overall fluency and coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice incorporating more complex sentences, such as those that use subordinate clauses or varied conjunctions. For example, instead of saying "It’s not only enrich the economic development but also create a wide range of jobs," the writer could say, "Not only does it enrich economic development, but it also creates a wide range of jobs." Engaging with sentence variety exercises and reading more complex texts can help in this regard.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For instance, phrases like "the increasingly of worldwide business" should be "the increase in worldwide business," and "it generate a numorous merits" should be "it generates numerous merits." Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the misuse of commas and the absence of necessary punctuation, create run-on sentences, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. For example, "Moreover, when it comes to trading goods, the country obviously has a plenty of chances for reaching a numorous divergent markets as well as it’s customer base and cater to diverse audiences" is convoluted and contains errors.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and the correct use of articles. Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common errors, will be beneficial. Additionally, proofreading the essay for punctuation errors and ensuring that each sentence is clear and concise will enhance overall readability. Utilizing grammar-checking tools can also help identify and correct mistakes before finalizing the essay.

In summary, while the essay presents some relevant ideas, the limited range of sentence structures and grammatical inaccuracies significantly impact the clarity and effectiveness of the argument. Focusing on diversifying sentence construction and improving grammatical accuracy will be essential for achieving a higher band score in future writing tasks.

Bài sửa mẫu

In this day and age, there is a growing trend of globalization all over the world, which gives rise to the spread of multinational enterprises that create several beneficial aspects for neighboring citizens. From my perspective, I strongly advocate for this issue for the reason that it generates numerous merits for people in these host countries, particularly in terms of economic growth and supplying an abundance of resources.

First and foremost, there is no denying that the increasing global business will convey more and more value to nations, predominantly through the investment of multinational corporations. It not only enriches economic development but also creates a wide range of jobs for local wage earners. This especially helps to reduce poverty and eradicate hunger in some underdeveloped countries. This means reducing the number of jobless and offering good salaries for the regional population. They will likely experience a higher standard of living, which improves social welfare and the GDP rate of these nations. Furthermore, this alteration has ramifications for trading goods and services between many countries without political boundaries and reducing taxation. Moreover, when it comes to trading goods, the country obviously has plenty of opportunities for reaching numerous diverse markets as well as its customer base and catering to diverse audiences.

Another point to make is that nations can easily access a multitude of resources such as goods, services, and modern technology during this globalization. Multinational corporations are often at the forefront of technological innovation, which facilitates the transfer of knowledge and technology. A prime example of this is the iPhone, which was supplied from America to Vietnam to meet user demands. Local populations can access all items that the country wouldn’t have otherwise. It is evident that participating in globalization and cooperating with large corporations worldwide brings prosperity swiftly and development in all aspects.

In a nutshell, I fully concur with this statement due to the great deal of beneficial aspects available for nations, such as job opportunities creation, economic growth, and a reservoir of products from other countries through the enhancement of multinational companies and the increase in globalization.