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The expansion of multinational companies and increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

The expansion of multinational companies and increase in globalization produce positive effects for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It is argued that the proliferation of global corporations and internationalization offers benefits to all people. I strongly agree with the aforementioned statement because of reasons relating to a higher level of employment and enhanced cross-cultural communication skills. One legitimate reason to support this trend is that it brings more job opportunities for local people. Since international firms, which open their branches in different countries, require a high level of workforce, they will need to recruit more local employees to operate the business. As a result, the natives are offered a decent occupation with lucrative incomes to cover their living expenses and in some cases, spend more generously on their shopping. For example, Samsung, a renowned Korean technology corporation, has created a large number of jobs for Vietnamese since 2018, through cooperating with the local government to successfully tackle the high unemployment rate in Vietnam.
Another major aspect is that people have a chance to develop multi-cultural communication skills as globalization is promoted. On a personal level, it is now easy for workers to learn about foreign cultures and customs, enabling them to acquire more knowledge and insight into varying international practices. As they are exposed to cross-cultural diversity in their working environment and society, they would become more able to show their empathy and tolerate cultural differences. At the company level, globalization leads to a more diverse range of potential business partners and diversifies their investment portfolios, which contributes to their profit generation. Therefore, having global partnerships is essential for businesses to compete in the growing international market.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that this trend is a positive development for every individual since it offers more jobs in local areas and stimulates better cross-cultural communication. Therefore, the government should encourage the process of globalization and multinational companies setting up in their countries.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "It is argued that" -> "It is contended that"
    Explanation: Replacing "argued" with "contended" elevates the formality of the sentence, aligning with academic style.

  2. "I strongly agree with the aforementioned statement because of reasons" -> "I strongly support the aforementioned assertion due to"
    Explanation: Substituting "agree" with "support" and "because of reasons" with "due to" enhances formality and precision in expression.

  3. "legitimate reason" -> "valid rationale"
    Explanation: Using "valid rationale" instead of "legitimate reason" maintains formality and introduces a more academically suitable term.

  4. "occupations with lucrative incomes" -> "positions with lucrative salaries"
    Explanation: Replacing "occupations" with "positions" and specifying "salaries" instead of "incomes" provides a more precise and formal expression.

  5. "spend more generously on their shopping" -> "allocate more resources to their purchases"
    Explanation: Substituting "spend more generously" with "allocate more resources" maintains formality while conveying the idea more precisely.

  6. "has created a large number of jobs for Vietnamese since 2018" -> "has generated significant employment opportunities for the Vietnamese since 2018"
    Explanation: Replacing "created a large number of jobs" with "generated significant employment opportunities" improves precision and formality.

  7. "a chance to develop multi-cultural communication skills" -> "an opportunity to cultivate cross-cultural communication skills"
    Explanation: Using "an opportunity to cultivate" instead of "a chance to develop" adds formality and clarity to the sentence.

  8. "it is now easy for workers to learn about foreign cultures and customs" -> "workers can now easily acquire knowledge about foreign cultures and customs"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and using "acquire knowledge" instead of "learn" enhances formality.

  9. "more able to show their empathy" -> "better equipped to demonstrate empathy"
    Explanation: Substituting "more able" with "better equipped" maintains formality and precision.

  10. "stimulates better cross-cultural communication" -> "fosters enhanced cross-cultural communication"
    Explanation: Replacing "stimulates better" with "fosters enhanced" contributes to a more formal and refined expression.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "One legitimate reason to support this trend is that it brings more job opportunities for local people. Since international firms, which open their branches in different countries, require a high level of workforce, they will need to recruit more local employees to operate the business."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The point about job opportunities created by multinational companies is clear and relevant. However, it lacks specificity regarding the types of jobs created and the industries involved. Providing examples or elaborating on the nature of these jobs could strengthen the argument. For instance, mentioning specific sectors like technology, manufacturing, or service industries and the type of roles created within these sectors would add depth.
    • Improved example: "One compelling aspect supporting this trend is the influx of job opportunities in various sectors within the local economy. For instance, when multinational corporations establish their branches, they seek local talent not only for managerial positions but also for technical roles in sectors such as technology, manufacturing, and customer service. This results in a diverse range of employment opportunities catering to different skill sets within the community."
  2. Quoted text: "As a result, the natives are offered a decent occupation with lucrative incomes to cover their living expenses and in some cases, spend more generously on their shopping."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The connection made between job creation and improved living standards is well-established. However, the link to increased spending on shopping might need further clarification or examples to enhance the argument’s persuasiveness. Consider specifying how increased incomes lead to a boost in local businesses or the economy.
    • Improved example: "Consequently, the rise in employment not only secures stable occupations for locals but also contributes to bolstering the local economy. With higher incomes, individuals have more purchasing power, stimulating local businesses and markets. For example, increased spending on local products and services can fuel economic growth in communities, leading to a more robust financial ecosystem."

Overall, the essay effectively discusses the benefits of multinational companies and globalization in terms of job creation and cross-cultural communication. However, to further bolster the argument, providing more specific examples and expanding on the outcomes of these benefits could enhance the essay’s depth and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, maintaining a clear progression throughout. The introduction presents a clear stance, and each paragraph subsequently supports the main points coherently. The use of cohesive devices is evident, with appropriate referencing and linking ideas. The essay effectively employs paragraphing, contributing to overall coherence.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence further, consider strengthening the connection between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph logically follows the preceding one, reinforcing the overall argument. Additionally, be cautious of overusing certain cohesive devices; strive for a balance to avoid any potential repetition. Overall, maintain a consistent focus on the central theme throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable command of vocabulary, contributing to its overall effectiveness. The writer successfully employs a wide range of vocabulary, including sophisticated language and expressions. There is evident fluency and flexibility in conveying precise meanings. The use of less common lexical items is skillful, although there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay effectively communicates ideas with only rare errors in spelling and word formation, and these errors are minor and do not significantly impede understanding. Overall, the lexical resource is a strong feature of this essay, meeting the criteria for a Band 8 score.

How to improve:
To further enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer could consider incorporating a few more advanced vocabulary choices consistently throughout the essay. Additionally, paying attention to nuanced word choice and collocation could help minimize the occasional inaccuracies present. Overall, maintaining a high level of lexical sophistication while ensuring precision and accuracy will contribute to refining the essay’s vocabulary even further.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: This essay exhibits a variety of complex sentence structures, demonstrating a good grasp of grammar and punctuation. There’s a commendable effort to use a diverse range of sentence constructions and vocabulary, contributing to the overall fluency and coherence of the essay. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve: To enhance the score to a higher band, focus on refining the accuracy further. While the essay utilizes complex structures and vocabulary effectively, paying closer attention to eliminating those occasional minor errors can elevate the overall precision of the language used. Proofreading for grammatical accuracy and punctuation could help in refining the essay further. Additionally, ensuring that the complexity in sentence structures is consistently maintained without sacrificing accuracy would contribute to a more polished piece of writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is contended that the proliferation of global corporations and internationalization offers benefits to all people. I strongly support the aforementioned assertion due to valid rationale, particularly concerning a higher level of employment and enhanced cross-cultural communication skills.

One significant reason supporting this trend is its positive impact on local employment. International firms opening branches in different countries require a substantial workforce, leading to the recruitment of more local employees. Consequently, this provides natives with decent job opportunities that come with lucrative salaries. For instance, Samsung, a renowned Korean technology corporation, has generated significant employment opportunities for the Vietnamese since 2018. This collaboration with the local government effectively addressed the high unemployment rate in Vietnam, allowing individuals to not only meet their living expenses but also allocate more resources to their purchases.

Another vital aspect is the opportunity for individuals to cultivate cross-cultural communication skills as globalization is promoted. At a personal level, workers can now easily acquire knowledge about foreign cultures and customs, enabling them to gain insight into varying international practices. Exposure to cross-cultural diversity in the working environment and society equips individuals to demonstrate empathy and tolerate cultural differences. At the organizational level, globalization leads to a more diverse range of potential business partners and diversifies investment portfolios, contributing to profit generation. Therefore, fostering enhanced cross-cultural communication is essential for businesses to compete in the growing international market.

In conclusion, I strongly support the notion that the expansion of multinational companies and the increase in globalization is a positive development for individuals. It offers more jobs in local areas and simultaneously stimulates better cross-cultural communication. Therefore, governments should encourage the process of globalization and the establishment of multinational companies in their countries.

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