The first chart below shows the percentage of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar graph illustrates the proportion of males and females doing chores in a specific amount of time.
It can be seen that a smaller number of males do housework compared with females. While figures for cooking and cleaning are the most outstanding in both graphs.
Commencing with the fraction of males and females who do housework, 60% of men do cooking at home, followed right behind is cleaning, at 40%. In contrast, only about 20% of males do pet care, with a similar percentage for those who do house repairs. For girls, there is a considerable difference, approximately 80% of them are the ones in charge of cooking, while 60% do cleaning. However, just a minimum proportion of girls do house repairs with 8%.
Regarding average time on chores, count by minute, a significant amount of time that males spend on cooking, 60 minutes, with 45 minutes on cleaning, and almost equivalent figure for pet care and house repairs, at 20 minutes per day. Conversely, the majority of girls, about 85 minutes, engage in cooking, followed closely by cleaning with 65 minutes per day for females. Additionally, girls spend moderately 20 minutes doing pet care whereas only around 5 minutes a day for house repairs.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"doing chores" -> "performing household tasks"
Explanation: "Performing household tasks" is a more formal and precise term than "doing chores," which is somewhat colloquial and vague in an academic context.
"a smaller number of males" -> "fewer males"
Explanation: "Fewer" is more precise and formal than "a smaller number of" when referring to countable nouns like "males."
"the most outstanding in both graphs" -> "the highest in both graphs"
Explanation: "The highest" is a more straightforward and academically appropriate term than "the most outstanding," which can be seen as overly dramatic.
"Commencing with" -> "Beginning with"
Explanation: "Beginning with" is a more standard academic phrase than "Commencing with," which is less commonly used in formal writing.
"right behind is cleaning" -> "followed closely by cleaning"
Explanation: "Followed closely by" is a more formal and precise way to describe the sequence of items, compared to the colloquial "right behind."
"just a minimum proportion" -> "a minimal proportion"
Explanation: "A minimal proportion" is more formal and precise than "just a minimum proportion," which is somewhat informal and vague.
"count by minute" -> "measured in minutes"
Explanation: "Measured in minutes" is a clearer and more formal way to express the unit of time, compared to the less formal "count by minute."
"a significant amount of time" -> "a substantial amount of time"
Explanation: "Substantial" is more precise and formal than "significant" in this context, implying a quantifiable extent of time.
"almost equivalent figure" -> "approximately equal figures"
Explanation: "Approximately equal figures" is more precise and formal than "almost equivalent figure," which is less specific and slightly informal.
"the majority of girls" -> "the majority of females"
Explanation: "Females" is a more formal and precise term than "girls," which is more appropriate in an academic context.
"moderately 20 minutes" -> "approximately 20 minutes"
Explanation: "Approximately" is more precise and formal than "moderately," which is vague and informal in this context.
"only around 5 minutes a day" -> "approximately 5 minutes daily"
Explanation: "Approximately 5 minutes daily" is more formal and precise than "only around 5 minutes a day," which is somewhat colloquial and less precise.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the charts, including the percentage of men and women involved in different home tasks and the average time spent on each task. The essay also makes some comparisons between the genders. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "a smaller number of males do housework compared with females," but this is not supported by the data. The essay also states that "the majority of girls, about 85 minutes, engage in cooking," but the data shows that the average time spent cooking is 85 minutes for both genders.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more accurate and relevant details. The essay could also be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. For example, the essay could state that women are more likely to be involved in home tasks than men, and that women tend to spend more time on these tasks than men.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently with a clear overall progression. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion, such as awkward phrasing or repetitive use of certain words. The central topic within each paragraph is clear, with a logical flow of information.

How to improve: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on varying their use of cohesive devices to avoid repetition. Additionally, paying attention to sentence structure and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas can enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Lastly, organizing the information in a more structured manner and ensuring logical paragraphing can further improve the clarity and cohesion of the response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. The essay includes a variety of words related to household chores and time spent on them. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "fraction" instead of "percentage" and "commencing" instead of "starting." Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, such as "count by minute" instead of "counted in minutes." These errors do not impede communication but affect the overall lexical resource score.

How to improve: To improve the band score, focus on using more precise vocabulary and collocations. Make sure to use the correct terms and expressions related to the topic. Additionally, pay attention to word formation and spelling to enhance the overall lexical resource of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some errors in grammar and punctuation. The writer attempts to use a variety of structures but may struggle with accuracy in more complex sentences. There are instances of errors that do not significantly hinder communication, but they are noticeable.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider range of sentence structures with more accuracy. Paying closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation can help enhance the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, proofreading for errors and revising complex sentence structures can help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar graph presents the distribution of household tasks between males and females in terms of time spent. It is evident that a higher percentage of females are involved in domestic chores compared to males, with cooking and cleaning being the most prominent activities for both genders.

In terms of the breakdown of household tasks, 60% of men engage in cooking, followed by cleaning at 40%. Conversely, only around 20% of males participate in pet care and house repairs. For females, the majority are responsible for cooking, with approximately 80% engaging in this task, followed by cleaning at 60%. However, only a small proportion of females, around 8%, are involved in house repairs.

When examining the average time spent on chores per day, males spend 60 minutes on cooking, 45 minutes on cleaning, and approximately 20 minutes on both pet care and house repairs. In contrast, females spend around 85 minutes on cooking, 65 minutes on cleaning, 20 minutes on pet care, and only about 5 minutes on house repairs.