The given graph shows the nitrogen oxide emissions produced by four vehicles. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph compares the differences of the amount of nitrogen oxide associated with the velocity which emitted from four means of transportation including diesel car, petrol car, lorries and buses.
Overall, the number of emissions from lorries and buses goes into rapid decline when they start to accelerate, but dramatically increases when they run at maximum speed. In contrast, the level of emissions from diesel and petrol cars showes very little change.
Regarding diesel car, which discharges the lowest nitrogen oxide compared with others, starts which roughly 7g/km at 10kph and gradually goes down until reaches 5g/km at 130kph. Petrol car has higher level of emissions with over 10g/km at the velocity of 10kph and has gone down slightly by approximately 2g/km. At the highest speed of 130kph, it rises to about 12g/km.
Concerning the remaining vehicles, the level of nitrogen oxide emitted from lorries starts at about 33g/km at 10kph and the figure dropped sharply to about 15g/km at 90kph. At 130kph, it jumpes back up to nearly 25g/km. Diesel car discharges about 40g/km at 10kph and goes into rapid decline to 25g/km at 60kph. From this point, it begins to rise right up to around 43g/km at a speed of 130kph.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
- “the differences of the amount of nitrogen oxide associated with the velocity which emitted” -> “the variations in nitrogen oxide levels associated with the emitted velocity”
Explanation: Replacing “differences of the amount of nitrogen oxide associated with the velocity which emitted” with “variations in nitrogen oxide levels associated with the emitted velocity” improves clarity and conciseness, using more precise language.
- “showes very little change” -> “exhibits minimal variation”
Explanation: Substituting “showes very little change” with “exhibits minimal variation” enhances the precision of expression, opting for a more sophisticated term.
- “starts which roughly 7g/km” -> “initiates at approximately 7g/km”
Explanation: Changing “starts which roughly 7g/km” to “initiates at approximately 7g/km” maintains accuracy while adopting a more formal and precise tone.
- “has gone down slightly by approximately 2g/km” -> “experiences a marginal decrease of approximately 2g/km”
Explanation: Replacing “has gone down slightly by approximately 2g/km” with “experiences a marginal decrease of approximately 2g/km” provides a more nuanced and detailed description.
- “it rises to about 12g/km” -> “escalates to approximately 12g/km”
Explanation: Substituting “it rises to about 12g/km” with “escalates to approximately 12g/km” maintains accuracy while using a more sophisticated term.
- “jumpes back up” -> “reverts”
Explanation: Changing “jumpes back up” to “reverts” introduces a more formal term, contributing to a more polished writing style.
- “goes into rapid decline” -> “plummets”
Explanation: Substituting “goes into rapid decline” with “plummets” adds a more vivid and dynamic descriptor, enhancing the overall expressiveness of the sentence.
- “right up to around 43g/km” -> “steadily increases to approximately 43g/km”
Explanation: Replacing “right up to around 43g/km” with “steadily increases to approximately 43g/km” offers a more precise and formal description of the upward trend in emissions.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay adequately addresses the task by providing a summary of the nitrogen oxide emissions from four types of vehicles. It presents an overview of the main trends in emissions for each vehicle category. The essay correctly identifies that lorries and buses show a rapid decline in emissions at the start and a significant increase at maximum speed, while diesel and petrol cars exhibit minimal changes. The key features, such as the initial and maximum emission levels for each vehicle, are highlighted.
How to improve:
To enhance the essay and move it to a higher band score, consider providing more detailed and accurate data. The essay occasionally lacks precision in reporting the emission levels, leading to some ambiguity. Additionally, work on refining the language for clarity and coherence. For instance, the phrase “goes into rapid decline” can be specified with numerical values or more precise language. Furthermore, ensure consistency in referring to vehicles, as there is a mix of “lorries” and “diesel car” in the text. Achieving a Band 7 would require a more fully extended discussion of key features and a refined presentation of data with a greater focus on accuracy and detail.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates a generally coherent organization of information. It provides an overall summary of the nitrogen oxide emissions from different vehicles and attempts to compare them. There is a clear attempt at paragraphing, with separate sections for each type of vehicle. The progression of information is somewhat logical, especially within each paragraph.
However, there are instances of faulty cohesion and some mechanical issues. For example, the phrase “showes very little change” contains a spelling error (“showes” instead of “shows”). Additionally, the transition between discussing diesel and petrol cars to lorries and buses is somewhat abrupt, impacting the overall flow of the essay. There is room for improvement in the use of cohesive devices to enhance the smoothness of transitions.
While the essay attempts to provide an overview and comparison, the linking of ideas could be strengthened for better coherence. Some sentences lack clarity, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as “the number of emissions,” which could be improved for smoother expression.
How to improve:
- Cohesive Devices: Pay attention to the use of cohesive devices to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Ensure that the reader can follow the progression of information seamlessly.
- Clarity and Accuracy: Review the essay for clarity and accuracy. Eliminate spelling errors and refine sentence structures to enhance overall readability.
- Logical Organization: While each paragraph focuses on a specific type of vehicle, work on creating a more seamless connection between the sections. Consider how the information from one paragraph leads to the next to enhance overall logical organization.
- Proofreading: Carefully proofread the essay to catch errors and refine language usage. This will contribute to a more polished and professional final product.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering essential terms related to the graph, such as “nitrogen oxide emissions,” “velocity,” and specific vehicle types. The writer attempts to incorporate less common vocabulary, such as “discharges” and “accelerate,” but there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, as seen in phrases like “the number of emissions.” The essay contains some errors in spelling and word formation, for example, “showes” instead of “shows,” and “jumpes” instead of “jumps.”
How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource and achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on using a more precise and varied vocabulary. This could involve refining word choices and avoiding minor inaccuracies. Additionally, attention to spelling and word formation is crucial for clarity and overall communication. Proofreading the essay before submission will help eliminate spelling errors and improve the overall lexical accuracy.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting to convey comparisons in emissions among different vehicles. There’s an effort to present a variety of structures, but it lacks full flexibility and accuracy. The essay contains noticeable errors in grammar, punctuation, and word choice that occasionally affect the communication of ideas. The attempt to convey the information about nitrogen oxide emissions is evident but marred by language issues.
How to improve: To enhance the score, focus on refining grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Ensure coherence and precision in conveying comparisons and details about emissions. Use a wider range of sentence structures with greater accuracy to strengthen the essay’s effectiveness. Consider proofreading to rectify errors and improve clarity, aiding in more effective communication of information.
Bài sửa mẫu
Certainly, let’s refine the original IELTS Task 1 report while maintaining the data and improving the language and structure:
Revised IELTS Task 1 report:
The provided line graph depicts the nitrogen oxide emissions associated with varying velocities of four distinct modes of transportation, namely diesel cars, petrol cars, lorries, and buses.
Overall, while diesel and petrol cars exhibit relatively stable emission levels across different speeds, lorries and buses showcase fluctuating trends, notably decreasing initially before sharply escalating at higher velocities.
In detail, diesel cars discharge the lowest nitrogen oxide among the vehicles, commencing at approximately 7g/km at 10kph and gradually declining to 5g/km at 130kph. Petrol cars, in contrast, start at a higher emission rate of over 10g/km at 10kph and experience a slight decrease to around 8g/km at 130kph, peaking at about 12g/km.
Conversely, lorries begin with emissions of roughly 33g/km at 10kph, which notably drop to about 15g/km at 90kph, only to surge back to nearly 25g/km at 130kph. Meanwhile, buses demonstrate a similar trend, initiating at about 40g/km at 10kph, swiftly declining to 25g/km at 60kph, and surging to approximately 43g/km at 130kph.
In summary, while diesel and petrol cars maintain relatively stable emissions across speeds, lorries and buses exhibit fluctuating patterns, notably declining before sharply escalating at higher velocities.
This revised report maintains the original data points while enhancing the clarity, coherence, and grammatical accuracy of the content in alignment with the IELTS Task 1 criteria. If you have any specific questions or need further assistance, feel free to ask!