The given picture shows the process of making electricity from coal. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given chart illustrates the production of electricity from coal.
Overall, it is clear that there are seven main steps in this process, beginning with the coal extraction from the mine and culminating in the distribution of electricity to various locations.
At the first stage of the generation process, coal is extracted from the coal mine before undergoing a process through a machine called a ‘crusher’ and then turned into small pieces. The process continues with transporting crushed coal to a facility known as a gasifier.
At the next stage of the production process, these materials are gasified and then transformed into gas while the solid waste is disposed of in the waste bin. Following this, gas is cooled by the cooling system before going directly to the gas power plant in order to generate electricity and eliminate heat waste. Finally, the electricity is distributed to a wide range of residential and industrial facilities.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"culminating in the distribution of electricity to various locations" -> "resulting in the distribution of electricity to various locales"
Explanation: "Culminating" typically refers to reaching a climax or conclusion, which may not precisely capture the process of electricity distribution. "Resulting" is a more suitable term here as it indicates the outcome of the process.
"At the first stage of the generation process" -> "In the initial stage of the generation process"
Explanation: "First" is a common word, but "initial" offers a slightly more formal and precise tone, especially in technical descriptions like this.
"through a machine called a ‘crusher’" -> "via a device known as a ‘crusher’"
Explanation: "Through" implies movement from one side to another, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Via" is a better choice as it indicates the means by which something is done.
"small pieces" -> "small fragments"
Explanation: "Pieces" is a common term, but "fragments" adds a touch of specificity and sophistication, particularly when describing the output of a mechanical process.
"Following this" -> "Subsequently"
Explanation: "Following this" is acceptable, but "subsequently" offers a more formal and precise transition between the stages of the process, enhancing the essay’s overall clarity and flow.
"before going directly to the gas power plant" -> "prior to entering the gas power plant"
Explanation: "Going directly" is a bit informal for this context. "Prior to entering" provides a clearer and more formal description of the sequence of events.
"a wide range of residential and industrial facilities" -> "an extensive array of residential and industrial establishments"
Explanation: "Facilities" is a common term, but "establishments" adds a touch of formality and specificity, enhancing the description of the recipients of the distributed electricity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main stages involved in the process of making electricity from coal. The key features are highlighted and presented in a logical sequence, starting from coal extraction to electricity distribution.
How to improve: To enhance the score, the essay could provide more specific details about each stage of the process, such as quantities involved or specific machinery used. Additionally, ensuring that all key features are fully extended and explained could further strengthen the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay logically organizes the information into seven main steps, providing a clear progression from coal extraction to electricity distribution. Each paragraph focuses on a specific stage of the process, maintaining coherence and cohesion. The use of cohesive devices like transitional phrases ("Overall," "At the first stage," "At the next stage") helps to connect ideas smoothly. Additionally, the essay presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, addressing different aspects of the electricity generation process.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion further, consider refining the transitions between paragraphs to ensure seamless progression from one stage of the process to the next. Additionally, aim for greater variety in cohesive devices to strengthen the connectivity between sentences and ideas. Finally, ensure consistency in referencing throughout the essay to avoid any potential confusion for the reader. Overall, maintaining this level of organization and clarity while refining transitions and cohesive devices will lead to further improvement in coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the process of making electricity from coal. There is a variety of terms used appropriately, such as "production," "extraction," "gasifier," "gas," "cooling system," and "distribution." The writer also attempts to use less common vocabulary, like "gasified," which contributes to the clarity and complexity of the essay. Additionally, there is some awareness of style and collocation evident in phrases like "culminating in" and "a wide range of." Although there are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, such as "gas power plant" instead of "gas-fired power plant," they do not significantly detract from the overall comprehension of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource further, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary where appropriate. Additionally, ensure accuracy in word choice and collocation to minimize occasional errors. Keep practicing using complex lexical items in context to improve fluency and flexibility in conveying precise meanings.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, including compound and complex sentences, such as "At the next stage of the production process, these materials are gasified and then transformed into gas while the solid waste is disposed of in the waste bin." The writer effectively uses a mix of sentence forms to convey information clearly and coherently.

The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing commas before introductory phrases ("At the first stage of the generation process, coal is extracted from the coal mine…") and slight awkwardness in phrasing ("…going directly to the gas power plant in order to generate electricity and eliminate heat waste.").

Overall, the essay demonstrates good control of grammar and punctuation, with errors being infrequent and only mildly impacting comprehension.

How to improve:
To further improve grammatical accuracy, the writer could pay closer attention to punctuation rules, particularly in instances where commas are needed to clarify sentence structure. Additionally, refining phrasing to enhance fluency and precision would elevate the essay’s overall effectiveness.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided chart delineates the sequential stages involved in the production of electricity from coal. Overall, it is evident that the process encompasses seven primary steps, commencing with coal extraction from the mine and concluding with the distribution of electricity to diverse destinations.

Initially, coal is extracted from the mine and subjected to crushing via a specialized machine, resulting in the formation of smaller fragments. Subsequently, the crushed coal is transported to a gasifier facility.

Following this initial phase, the materials undergo gasification, leading to the conversion of coal into gas, while solid waste is appropriately disposed of in waste receptacles. Concurrently, the generated gas undergoes cooling through a cooling system before being channeled to the gas power plant for electricity generation and heat waste elimination.

Ultimately, the produced electricity is distributed to a wide array of residential and industrial establishments.