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The government is spending a lot of money discovering other planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problem of the public. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

The government is spending a lot of money discovering other planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend more money addressing the problem of the public. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a significant focus on space exploration, with governments allocating substantial financial resources to discover other planets. Some argue that this expenditure is a waste of money, suggesting that these funds would be better utilized addressing pressing issues on Earth. While I acknowledge the concerns, I firmly support the idea that investing in space exploration can offer valuable solutions and benefits for our planet.

First and foremost, investing money in space exploration is a solution to deal with the matter of overpopulation on Earth. Given the current global population surpassing 8 billion, imminent challenges such as unemployment, rising crime rates, escalating global warming, and increasing homelessness persist. Redirecting funds from space exploration to implementing effective policies addressing overpopulation-related concerns could significantly alleviate these pressing issues. Therefore, investing capital into space research and exploration seems to be one of the most optimal strategies that provide alternative habitats for human habitation to resolve problems relevant to population density. The prime example of this is that many experts and scientists such as those from SpaceX or NASA have proposed the viability of human colonization on other celestial bodies in order to manage the environmental issues and population explosion due to the advancement of space exploration technologies today.

Moreover, investing in space research not only unravels the mysteries of the universe but also equips us with crucial knowledge that could be applied to mitigate environmental crises and foster technological advancements beneficial for addressing pressing concerns on Earth, such as resource management and sustainable technologies. It is undeniable that there are numerous theories relating to outer space and the universe, and if we lay out money on astronomical research, we can uncover all the mysteries about other stars and space. A clear illustration of this is that ample scientific research has proven the possibility of the livelihoods on Mars, the target planet as a prospective human settlement. Thus, this approach is imperative to unveil the enigmas of the universe, thereby gaining expertise that elucidates pertinent theories.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that dedicating financial resources to space exploration holds the promise of positive impacts, offering potential new environments for human settlement and contributing to our understanding of the cosmos. This approach, far from being a waste of money, addresses pressing issues on Earth while opening doors to a wealth of knowledge about space.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "In recent years" -> "In recent times"
    Explanation: Replacing "In recent years" with "In recent times" provides a slightly more formal and timeless expression, suitable for academic writing.

  2. "Some argue that" -> "Some contend that"
    Explanation: Substituting "Some argue that" with "Some contend that" adds a more sophisticated tone, aligning with academic language norms.

  3. "I firmly support the idea" -> "I strongly advocate"
    Explanation: Changing "I firmly support the idea" to "I strongly advocate" introduces a stronger and more formal way of expressing support in academic writing.

  4. "First and foremost" -> "Primarily"
    Explanation: Replacing "First and foremost" with "Primarily" maintains clarity while using a more formal transition phrase.

  5. "investing money" -> "allocating funds"
    Explanation: Substituting "investing money" with "allocating funds" is a more precise and formal way to describe financial resource distribution.

  6. "matter of overpopulation" -> "issue of overpopulation"
    Explanation: Changing "matter of overpopulation" to "issue of overpopulation" aligns with a more formal and academic vocabulary choice.

  7. "Given the current global population surpassing 8 billion" -> "Considering the current global population exceeding 8 billion"
    Explanation: The modification provides a more formal and nuanced way of introducing the population statistic.

  8. "Redirecting funds" -> "Reallocating resources"
    Explanation: Using "Reallocating resources" instead of "Redirecting funds" adds a broader scope to the sentence, incorporating non-financial resources.

  9. "could significantly alleviate these pressing issues" -> "could markedly mitigate these pressing issues"
    Explanation: Substituting "significantly alleviate" with "markedly mitigate" enhances precision and elevates the formality of the statement.

  10. "investing capital" -> "allocating resources"
    Explanation: Changing "investing capital" to "allocating resources" is a more comprehensive and formal way to refer to resource allocation.

  11. "prime example" -> "a prominent illustration"
    Explanation: Replacing "prime example" with "a prominent illustration" introduces a more formal and descriptive term.

  12. "have proposed the viability" -> "have posited the feasibility"
    Explanation: Using "have posited the feasibility" instead of "have proposed the viability" conveys a more academic and precise tone.

  13. "not only unravels the mysteries" -> "not only reveals the mysteries"
    Explanation: Substituting "unravels" with "reveals" maintains the meaning while employing a more straightforward and formal verb.

  14. "could be applied to mitigate" -> "can be applied to alleviate"
    Explanation: Changing "could be applied to mitigate" to "can be applied to alleviate" introduces a more assertive and direct expression.

  15. "It is undeniable that there are numerous theories" -> "Undoubtedly, there exist numerous theories"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence with "Undoubtedly, there exist numerous theories" enhances formality and conciseness.

  16. "lay out money on astronomical research" -> "invest in astronomical research"
    Explanation: Replacing "lay out money on astronomical research" with "invest in astronomical research" is a more formal and precise way to convey the idea.

  17. "clear illustration of this is" -> "a compelling illustration of this is"
    Explanation: Changing "clear illustration of this is" to "a compelling illustration of this is" adds emphasis and formality to the statement.

  18. "ample scientific research" -> "abundant scientific research"
    Explanation: Substituting "ample scientific research" with "abundant scientific research" introduces a more formal and descriptive adjective.

  19. "the possibility of the livelihoods on Mars" -> "the potential for human habitation on Mars"
    Explanation: Modifying "the possibility of the livelihoods on Mars" to "the potential for human habitation on Mars" enhances precision and formality.

  20. "far from being a waste of money" -> "far from constituting a financial misallocation"
    Explanation: Changing "far from being a waste of money" to "far from constituting a financial misallocation" employs more formal language without sacrificing clarity.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

  1. Quoted text: "While I acknowledge the concerns, I firmly support the idea that investing in space exploration can offer valuable solutions and benefits for our planet."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your introduction successfully presents your stance on the topic. However, to enhance clarity, consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay. This would provide a roadmap for the reader, making it easier to follow your argument.
    • Improved example: "While I acknowledge concerns about the allocation of funds to space exploration, I firmly support the idea that investing in space exploration can offer valuable solutions and benefits for our planet. In this essay, I will discuss how space exploration addresses overpopulation issues and contributes to environmental and technological advancements on Earth."
  2. Quoted text: "Given the current global population surpassing 8 billion, imminent challenges such as unemployment, rising crime rates, escalating global warming, and increasing homelessness persist."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your response addresses the issue of overpopulation and its related challenges. However, to strengthen your argument, provide specific examples or elaborate on how redirecting funds from space exploration can directly alleviate these challenges. This would add depth and make your argument more persuasive.
    • Improved example: "Given the current global population surpassing 8 billion, imminent challenges such as unemployment, rising crime rates, escalating global warming, and increasing homelessness persist. Redirecting funds from space exploration to targeted social programs, education, and infrastructure projects can directly address these challenges. For instance, investing in job training programs can mitigate unemployment issues, and funding sustainable initiatives can combat global warming."
  3. Quoted text: "Moreover, investing in space research not only unravels the mysteries of the universe but also equips us with crucial knowledge that could be applied to mitigate environmental crises and foster technological advancements beneficial for addressing pressing concerns on Earth, such as resource management and sustainable technologies."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your point about the benefits of space research is well-taken. However, to enhance the Task Response, provide concrete examples or scenarios where knowledge gained from space research has been or could be applied to address specific environmental crises or contribute to technological advancements on Earth.
    • Improved example: "Moreover, investing in space research not only unravels the mysteries of the universe but also equips us with crucial knowledge that could be applied to mitigate environmental crises and foster technological advancements beneficial for addressing pressing concerns on Earth, such as resource management and sustainable technologies. For example, advancements in satellite technology have enabled more accurate monitoring of deforestation, leading to better conservation efforts on Earth. Additionally, research on space habitats can inspire innovations in sustainable living practices."

Overall, while your essay presents a clear position and provides relevant ideas, incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on certain points would further strengthen your argument and improve your Task Response score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a strong level of coherence and cohesion, aligning with the Band 8 descriptor. The sequencing of information is logical, and the essay effectively manages cohesion throughout. The use of paragraphing is skillful and appropriate. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and each paragraph develops a clear central topic with a smooth progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used well, contributing to the overall flow and organization of the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence further, consider incorporating a more explicit transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs. While the essay is well-organized, a clearer roadmap in the introduction could strengthen the overall structure. Additionally, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently throughout the essay, maintaining a seamless connection between sentences and paragraphs. Finally, aim for a more nuanced development of counterarguments to strengthen the overall argumentative structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable use of a wide range of vocabulary with fluency and flexibility, conveying precise meanings effectively. Uncommon lexical items are skillfully employed, contributing to the sophistication of the language. While there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, they are minor and do not impede overall communication. The spelling and word formation are mostly accurate, with rare errors.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource further, focus on refining word choice and collocation. Proofread meticulously to eliminate any minor errors in spelling and word formation. Keep up the excellent work on utilizing a broad vocabulary and conveying nuanced meanings.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures, showcasing a variety of complex sentence forms. The majority of sentences are error-free, with occasional minor errors that do not significantly impact comprehension. The writer exhibits good control of grammar and punctuation throughout the essay. The use of vocabulary is precise and contributes to the overall clarity of the content.

How to improve: While the essay is well-constructed and grammatically sound, consider incorporating even more diverse and sophisticated sentence structures to further enhance the overall fluency and flexibility of the language. Additionally, pay close attention to the minor errors that occur and ensure consistent accuracy throughout the essay. Proofreading carefully before submission can help eliminate these occasional slips, reinforcing the essay’s strength in grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

In recent years, there has been a significant focus on space exploration, with governments allocating substantial financial resources to discover other planets. Some argue that this expenditure is a waste of money, suggesting that these funds would be better utilized addressing pressing issues on Earth. While I acknowledge the concerns, I firmly support the idea that investing in space exploration can offer valuable solutions and benefits for our planet.

First and foremost, investing money in space exploration is a solution to deal with the matter of overpopulation on Earth. Given the current global population surpassing 8 billion, imminent challenges such as unemployment, rising crime rates, escalating global warming, and increasing homelessness persist. Redirecting funds from space exploration to implementing effective policies addressing overpopulation-related concerns could significantly alleviate these pressing issues. Therefore, investing capital in space research and exploration seems to be one of the most optimal strategies that provide alternative habitats for human habitation to resolve problems relevant to population density. A prime example of this is that many experts and scientists, such as those from SpaceX or NASA, have proposed the viability of human colonization on other celestial bodies to manage environmental issues and population explosion due to the advancement of space exploration technologies today.

Moreover, investing in space research not only unravels the mysteries of the universe but also equips us with crucial knowledge that could be applied to mitigate environmental crises and foster technological advancements beneficial for addressing pressing concerns on Earth, such as resource management and sustainable technologies. It is undeniable that there are numerous theories relating to outer space and the universe, and if we invest money in astronomical research, we can uncover all the mysteries about other stars and space. A clear illustration of this is that ample scientific research has proven the possibility of livelihoods on Mars, the target planet as a prospective human settlement. Thus, this approach is imperative to unveil the enigmas of the universe, thereby gaining expertise that elucidates pertinent theories.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that dedicating financial resources to space exploration holds the promise of positive impacts, offering potential new environments for human settlement and contributing to our understanding of the cosmos. This approach, far from being a waste of money, addresses pressing issues on Earth while opening doors to a wealth of knowledge about space.

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