The government should provide free public transport 24/7 to reduce traffic congestion. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The government should provide free public transport 24/7 to reduce traffic congestion. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an opinion that the government should provide free public transportation at all the time to alleviate the problem of congestion. I personally agree with this idea for several reasons.
One reason for my agreement is that the reduction in the number of private transports on the road. This is because people can access these mean of public transport more easily, therefore, people may choose travelling by public transports than private transports. For instance, in the Germany, the government provides free buses and trains around the clock, so the students and citizens tend to choose public transportation to travel around there country. This cuts down on the number of private cars and motorbikes on the road in rush hour, hence, German can commute without congestion.
In addition, with free public transport, this can reduce the demand of parking. Especially in the town areas where the traffic is often interrupted by cars spot, if dwellers tend to use public transit system, it will be able to provide more space on the road for vehicles. Besides, the public transit networks are very various, this also open more space for mean of transport travel without traffic jams. For example,the public transports have their own road systems, this will avoid the case that there are too much vehicles in the same road in rush hour and create more space in the road for other transports.
To sum up, I firmly believe that the government should provide public transport free of charge in order to reduce traffic jams.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"at all the time" -> "at all times"
Explanation: "At all times" is a more formal and precise expression, suitable for academic writing, whereas "at all the time" is somewhat colloquial and less formal. -
"I personally agree" -> "I concur"
Explanation: "Concur" is a more formal synonym for "agree," which enhances the academic tone of the essay. -
"the reduction in the number of private transports on the road" -> "a reduction in the number of private vehicles on the road"
Explanation: "Vehicles" is a more specific and appropriate term than "transports" in this context, aligning better with formal language use. -
"people can access these mean of public transport" -> "individuals can access these means of public transportation"
Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "means of public transportation" is the correct plural form, correcting the grammatical error. -
"choose travelling by public transports" -> "opt for traveling by public transportation"
Explanation: "Opt for" is a more formal expression than "choose," and "traveling" should be "travel" in this context. Also, "public transportation" is the correct noun form. -
"there country" -> "their country"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error, replacing "there" with "their" to indicate possession. -
"German can commute" -> "citizens can commute"
Explanation: "German" is incorrect as it refers to the nationality, whereas "citizens" is the correct term to describe the people of Germany in this context. -
"the demand of parking" -> "the demand for parking"
Explanation: "For" is the correct preposition to use with "demand" in this context, indicating the need or requirement. -
"cars spot" -> "parking spots"
Explanation: "Cars spot" is incorrect; "parking spots" is the correct term for areas designated for parking vehicles. -
"it will be able to provide more space on the road for vehicles" -> "it will free up more space on the roads for vehicles"
Explanation: "Free up" is a more precise and formal way to express the idea of making space available, enhancing the academic tone. -
"the public transit networks are very various" -> "the public transit networks are highly diverse"
Explanation: "Highly diverse" is a more precise and formal way to describe the variety of public transit networks, fitting better in an academic context. -
"this also open more space for mean of transport travel" -> "this also opens more space for modes of transportation"
Explanation: "Opens" corrects the verb tense, and "modes of transportation" is the correct plural form, replacing the awkward and incorrect "mean of transport travel." -
"the public transports have their own road systems" -> "public transportation systems have their own dedicated road networks"
Explanation: "Public transportation systems" is more specific and formal, and "dedicated road networks" is a more precise term than "road systems," enhancing the clarity and formality of the statement. -
"there are too much vehicles" -> "there are too many vehicles"
Explanation: Corrects a grammatical error, replacing "too much" with "too many" to agree with the plural noun "vehicles." -
"create more space in the road for other transports" -> "create more space on the roads for other modes of transportation"
Explanation: "On the roads" corrects the preposition, and "modes of transportation" is a more formal and precise term than "transports."
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Task Response: 7
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position in favor of free public transport to alleviate traffic congestion. The introduction effectively presents the writer’s agreement with the idea, and the body paragraphs provide reasons supporting this stance. However, the essay could benefit from a more nuanced discussion of the extent to which the writer agrees. For example, while the writer supports the idea, they do not explore any potential drawbacks or counterarguments, which could provide a more balanced view.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should consider acknowledging and addressing potential counterarguments or limitations of providing free public transport. This could involve discussing issues such as funding, the quality of service, or the impact on public transport infrastructure. Including a brief counterargument would demonstrate critical thinking and a deeper engagement with the topic.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, consistently advocating for free public transport. The writer’s agreement is evident from the beginning, and each paragraph reinforces this viewpoint. However, the phrasing in some areas could be clearer; for instance, the phrase "this can reduce the demand of parking" could be more directly linked to the main argument about traffic congestion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, the writer should ensure that each point made directly ties back to the main argument. Using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can help reinforce the position and guide the reader through the argument more effectively.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas supporting the main argument, such as the reduction of private vehicles and the alleviation of parking demand. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while the example of Germany is relevant, it lacks depth and could be expanded to include specific statistics or studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of free public transport in reducing congestion.
- How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should include more detailed examples and evidence. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or real-world outcomes from cities that have implemented similar policies. Additionally, elaborating on how these examples relate to the writer’s argument would enhance the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the benefits of free public transport in relation to traffic congestion. However, some sentences are slightly convoluted and could lead to confusion, such as "the public transit networks are very various." This phrase lacks clarity and could distract from the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain focus and clarity, the writer should strive for more straightforward language and sentence structure. Avoiding overly complex phrases and ensuring that each sentence contributes directly to the argument can help keep the essay on topic and enhance readability. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing would improve overall coherence.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, addressing the suggestions for improvement could elevate the response to a higher band score.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7
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Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, stating agreement with the idea of free public transport to alleviate congestion. The arguments are generally organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific reason supporting the main thesis. However, the logical flow could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the reduction of private transport to the benefits of reduced parking demand feels abrupt. The connection between these ideas could be made clearer to enhance the overall coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the writer should ensure that each paragraph not only presents a distinct idea but also connects smoothly to the next. Using transitional phrases such as "Furthermore," or "In addition," can help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, providing a brief summary or linking sentence at the end of each paragraph can reinforce how each point contributes to the overall argument.
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Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs effectively, with each paragraph dedicated to a specific argument. However, the first paragraph could benefit from a clearer topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of the paragraph. The second paragraph, while discussing the reduction of parking demand, could be split into two distinct paragraphs to better separate the ideas of parking and the benefits of dedicated public transport lanes.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, the writer should start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point. Additionally, consider breaking longer paragraphs into smaller ones when introducing a new idea. This will not only enhance readability but also allow for a more focused discussion of each point.
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Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "for instance" and "besides," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be stronger. For example, the phrase "this can reduce the demand of parking" could be better linked to the preceding sentence to clarify the relationship between the two ideas.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases, such as "consequently," "as a result," and "in contrast." Additionally, ensuring that each sentence logically follows from the previous one will strengthen the overall cohesion of the essay. Practicing the use of these devices in different contexts can help the writer become more comfortable with their application.
Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in logical organization, paragraph structure, and the use of cohesive devices will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "alleviate," "congestion," and "public transportation." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the term "public transport" is used multiple times without synonyms or variations, which can make the writing feel monotonous. Additionally, phrases like "the number of private transports" could be more varied by using terms such as "private vehicles" or "personal cars."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and related terms throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeating "public transport," alternatives like "public transit," "mass transit," or "communal transport" could be used. Keeping a list of synonyms handy while drafting can help diversify vocabulary.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While some vocabulary is used appropriately, there are several instances where word choice is imprecise. For example, the phrase "the reduction in the number of private transports" is awkward; "private vehicles" would be more precise. Additionally, "mean of public transport" is incorrect; the correct phrase is "means of public transport." The use of "this can reduce the demand of parking" should be "this can reduce the demand for parking."
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using the correct forms and collocations. Reviewing vocabulary in context and practicing with exercises that emphasize collocations can help. Additionally, using a thesaurus can aid in finding more accurate terms.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "transports" when referring to vehicles (should be "vehicles"), "Germany" (should be "Germany’s" in context), and "mean of public transport" (should be "means"). These errors detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully, ideally reading it aloud to catch errors. Utilizing spell-check tools and practicing commonly misspelled words can also be beneficial. Additionally, keeping a personal list of frequently misspelled words and reviewing them regularly can help improve overall spelling proficiency.
In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents coherent arguments, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures. For instance, it uses simple sentences effectively, such as "I personally agree with this idea for several reasons." However, there is a noticeable reliance on basic sentence forms, which limits the overall complexity of the writing. The use of complex sentences is attempted, as seen in "This is because people can access these mean of public transport more easily," but the effectiveness is undermined by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the essay lacks varied sentence beginnings and transitions, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should incorporate more complex and compound sentences. For example, instead of saying "This is because people can access these mean of public transport more easily," the writer could rephrase it to "This is primarily due to the increased accessibility of public transport, which encourages more individuals to opt for it over private vehicles." Additionally, using a variety of sentence openings and transitions (e.g., "Furthermore," "Moreover," "In contrast") can enhance the flow and coherence of the essay.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "the reduction in the number of private transports on the road" is awkward; "transports" should be "transportation" or "vehicles." The phrase "at all the time" is incorrect; it should be "all the time" or "24/7." Additionally, punctuation issues are present, such as the lack of a comma after "For example" and the incorrect spacing before "the public transports have their own road systems." These errors can lead to confusion and disrupt the reader’s understanding.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and correct word forms. For instance, "the public transports" should be corrected to "public transport" or "public transportation." Regular practice with grammar exercises, particularly those focusing on common mistakes, can be beneficial. Furthermore, proofreading for punctuation errors, especially around introductory phrases and clauses, will help enhance clarity. Utilizing grammar-checking tools or seeking feedback from peers can also aid in identifying and correcting these issues.
In summary, while the essay presents a clear argument and some relevant examples, enhancing the variety of sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly elevate the quality of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
There is an opinion that the government should provide free public transportation at all times to alleviate the problem of congestion. I personally agree with this idea for several reasons.
One reason for my agreement is the reduction in the number of private vehicles on the road. This is because people can access these means of public transportation more easily; therefore, individuals may choose to opt for traveling by public transportation rather than private vehicles. For instance, in Germany, the government provides free buses and trains around the clock, so students and citizens tend to choose public transportation to travel around their country. This cuts down on the number of private cars and motorbikes on the road during rush hour; hence, Germans can commute without congestion.
In addition, with free public transport, this can reduce the demand for parking. Especially in town areas where traffic is often interrupted by parking spots, if dwellers tend to use the public transit system, it will be able to free up more space on the roads for vehicles. Besides, the public transit networks are highly diverse; this also opens more space for modes of transportation to travel without traffic jams. For example, public transportation systems have their own dedicated road networks, which will avoid the situation where there are too many vehicles on the same road during rush hour and create more space on the roads for other modes of transportation.
To sum up, I firmly believe that the government should provide public transport free of charge in order to reduce traffic jams.