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The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph highlights data about the cost of banana in four nations, over a twenty-year period between 1984 and 2004.
Overall, it can be seen that there were a considerable upward trend in the cost of bananas in both Japan and the USA, while the price of bananas in France and Germany saw a stady period. In addition, Japanese paid more money to buy bananas than other countries.
Looking at the details, as regards Japan, the cost of bananas started at $2 per kilogram in 1994, then rising to a peak at nearly $3 per kilogram in 1995. After seeing a downturn until 1996, the banana costs in Japan fluctuated and finished at $2.50 per kilogram in 2004. As for the cost of bananas in the USA, it started at under $1 per kilogram in 1984, which is lower than other nations. Having increased to more than $1 per kilogram in 1995, the banana price then held stady until the end of the period.
By contrast, the banana costs in France and Germany went in opposite direction. Regarding the money that French spent buying a kilogram banana, it costs around $1.70 and fluctuated during the period. However, the banana costs in France went back its beginning number at the end of the period. With respect to Germany, people spent nearly $1.50 buying a kilogram banana in 1984. Having fluctuated during the period, the banana price finished at more than $1 per kilogram, it means that in 2004 people spent less money buying a kilogram banana than that in 1984


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "the cost of banana" -> "the cost of bananas"
    Explanation: The term "banana" should be pluralized to "bananas" to accurately reflect that the data pertains to the cost of the fruit in general, rather than a single unit.

  2. "there were a considerable upward trend" -> "there was a considerable upward trend"
    Explanation: The subject "trend" is singular, so it requires the singular verb "was" for grammatical agreement.

  3. "stady period" -> "stable period"
    Explanation: "Stady" is a misspelling of "steady." However, "stable" is a more precise term that conveys the idea of little to no change in price over time.

  4. "Japanese paid more money to buy bananas" -> "Japan paid a higher price for bananas"
    Explanation: The phrase "Japanese paid more money" is informal and vague. "Japan paid a higher price" is more precise and aligns with academic writing standards.

  5. "the cost of bananas started at $2 per kilogram in 1994" -> "the cost of bananas began at $2 per kilogram in 1984"
    Explanation: The year should be corrected to 1984 to match the timeline provided in the introduction of the essay.

  6. "then rising to a peak at nearly $3 per kilogram in 1995" -> "then rose to a peak of nearly $3 per kilogram in 1995"
    Explanation: The verb "rising" should be changed to "rose" for proper tense consistency, and "at" should be replaced with "of" to correctly indicate the peak price.

  7. "the banana costs in Japan fluctuated and finished at $2.50 per kilogram in 2004" -> "the cost of bananas in Japan fluctuated and concluded at $2.50 per kilogram in 2004"
    Explanation: "Finished" is too informal; "concluded" is more appropriate for academic writing. Additionally, "the banana costs" should be "the cost of bananas" for clarity.

  8. "it started at under $1 per kilogram in 1984, which is lower than other nations" -> "it started at less than $1 per kilogram in 1984, which was lower than in other nations"
    Explanation: "Under" is more informal; "less than" is more precise. Additionally, "is" should be changed to "was" for past tense consistency.

  9. "held stady until the end of the period" -> "remained stable until the end of the period"
    Explanation: "Held stady" is a misspelling and informal. "Remained stable" is more precise and formal.

  10. "went in opposite direction" -> "moved in opposite directions"
    Explanation: "Went" is too informal, and "direction" should be pluralized to "directions" to match the two countries being discussed.

  11. "the money that French spent buying a kilogram banana" -> "the amount spent by the French on purchasing a kilogram of bananas"
    Explanation: "The money that French spent" is awkward and vague. "The amount spent by the French" is clearer and more formal. Additionally, "buying a kilogram banana" should be "purchasing a kilogram of bananas" for grammatical correctness.

  12. "it costs around $1.70 and fluctuated during the period" -> "it was approximately $1.70 and fluctuated during the period"
    Explanation: "Costs" should be changed to "was" to maintain past tense consistency, and "around" can be replaced with "approximately" for a more formal tone.

  13. "the banana costs in France went back its beginning number" -> "the cost of bananas in France returned to its initial value"
    Explanation: "Went back its beginning number" is awkward and unclear. "Returned to its initial value" is more precise and formal.

  14. "people spent less money buying a kilogram banana than that in 1984" -> "people spent less on purchasing a kilogram of bananas than they did in 1984"
    Explanation: "Less money buying" is informal; "less on purchasing" is more precise. Additionally, "than that in 1984" should be clarified to "than they did in 1984" for better readability.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay presents some key features, but it does not adequately cover them. There is a tendency to focus on details.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also focus on presenting the key features of the data, rather than focusing on details. For example, the essay could state that the price of bananas in Japan and the USA increased over the period, while the price of bananas in France and Germany remained relatively stable. The essay could also highlight the fact that the price of bananas in Japan was consistently higher than in the other countries.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about the price of bananas in four countries but lacks overall coherence and logical progression. While there is some organization, the ideas are not fully developed, and the transitions between points are often unclear. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, leading to repetition and confusion in some areas. For example, phrases like "the banana costs in France went back its beginning number" are vague and do not clearly convey the intended meaning. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, affecting the overall clarity of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearer organization of ideas, ensuring that each paragraph presents a distinct aspect of the data. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately can help connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, improving the clarity of references and avoiding vague language will strengthen the overall progression of the essay. Finally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic will aid in maintaining focus and coherence throughout the response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as "upward trend," "fluctuated," and "cost of bananas." However, it attempts to use less common vocabulary with some inaccuracies, such as "stady" instead of "steady" and "having fluctuated" which could be better expressed. There are also noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as "the money that French spent" instead of "the money that the French spent," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Overall, while the vocabulary used is sufficient for the task, the inaccuracies and errors prevent it from achieving a higher score.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and ensuring correct spelling. Practicing synonyms and collocations related to the topic can enhance the richness of the vocabulary. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors before submission would help in achieving clearer communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms with some attempts at complex sentences. While the writer attempts to convey information about the graph, frequent grammatical errors and inaccuracies in punctuation are present. These errors occasionally hinder communication, particularly in phrases such as "the cost of banana" (should be "the cost of bananas") and "went back its beginning number" (which is unclear). The overall coherence of the essay is affected by these issues, leading to a score of 5.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

  1. Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentences and subordinate clauses to improve the overall complexity of the writing.
  2. Error Correction: Proofread the essay to identify and correct grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and word choice.
  3. Punctuation: Pay attention to punctuation rules to ensure clarity and improve the flow of the essay.
  4. Clarity and Precision: Use clearer expressions and avoid vague phrases to enhance the reader’s understanding of the information presented.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line graph highlights data about the cost of bananas in four nations over a twenty-year period between 1984 and 2004. Overall, it can be seen that there was a considerable upward trend in the cost of bananas in both Japan and the USA, while the price of bananas in France and Germany experienced a stable period. In addition, Japan consistently paid more for bananas than the other countries.

Looking at the details, in Japan, the cost of bananas started at $2 per kilogram in 1994, then rose to a peak of nearly $3 per kilogram in 1995. After experiencing a downturn until 1996, banana costs in Japan fluctuated and finished at $2.50 per kilogram in 2004. As for the cost of bananas in the USA, it started at under $1 per kilogram in 1984, which was lower than in the other nations. After increasing to more than $1 per kilogram in 1995, the banana price remained stable until the end of the period.

By contrast, the banana costs in France and Germany moved in opposite directions. Regarding the amount that the French spent on a kilogram of bananas, it started at around $1.70 and fluctuated during the period. However, the banana costs in France returned to their initial level by the end of the period. With respect to Germany, people spent nearly $1.50 on a kilogram of bananas in 1984. After fluctuating during the period, the banana price finished at just over $1 per kilogram, indicating that in 2004, people spent less on a kilogram of bananas than they did in 1984.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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