The graph below shows the amount of UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph below shows the amount of UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.

The given chart delineates how much money was invested in clean power sources in the UK between 2008 and 2015.
Overall, wind energy received the largest investment over the 7-year period. It is also evident that there was a rise in the spending for alternative sources of power.
In 2008, approximately 2 billion pounds was used for the development of wind energy, with a surge to around 6 billion pounds in 2009, followed by a plunge to below 2 billion pounds in 2011 and a considerable rise to roughly 9 billion pounds in 2015. Meanwhile, not until 2010 was there a modest investment in solar power (nearly 0.5 billion pounds), then this figure rose moderately to about 2.5 billion pounds in 2011, stabilizing till 2013, continuing to increase to a peak of 3 billion, and ending the period at 2.6 billion.

Furthermore, technologies for producing eco-friendly energy attracted a small investment during the 2008-2009 period (0.1 billion pounds). However, from 2010 to 2013, the statistics register around 0.3 billion before a trivial pump of 0.2 billion was seen in 2015. At the same time, the amount of money the UK used for other sources of clean power was approximately 0.25 billion pounds between 2008 and 2010, varying from 0.4 to 1 billion for the rest of the period.

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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "The given chart delineates" -> "The provided chart illustrates"
    Explanation: Replacing "delineates" with "illustrates" provides a more precise and formal description of presenting information in a chart.

  2. "wind energy received the largest investment" -> "wind energy garnered the highest investment"
    Explanation: Using "garnered" instead of "received" adds sophistication to the statement, conveying that wind energy attracted the most significant investment.

  3. "there was a rise in the spending" -> "expenditure witnessed an increase"
    Explanation: Substituting "there was a rise in the spending" with "expenditure witnessed an increase" enhances the precision and formality of the sentence.

  4. "plunge to below 2 billion pounds" -> "drop to less than 2 billion pounds"
    Explanation: Replacing "plunge" with "drop" and adding "less than" instead of "below" provides a more measured and accurate representation of the decrease in investment.

  5. "considerable rise to roughly 9 billion pounds" -> "significant surge to approximately 9 billion pounds"
    Explanation: Swapping "considerable rise" with "significant surge" imparts a more impactful description, and using "approximately" instead of "roughly" adds precision to the amount.

  6. "not until 2010 was there a modest investment" -> "only in 2010 did a modest investment occur"
    Explanation: Inverting the sentence structure and using "occur" instead of "was there" enhances the sentence’s formal tone and clarity.

  7. "stabilizing till 2013" -> "stabilizing until 2013"
    Explanation: Correcting the preposition to "until" instead of "till" maintains grammatical consistency and formality.

  8. "a trivial pump of 0.2 billion was seen" -> "a marginal increase of 0.2 billion was observed"
    Explanation: Substituting "trivial pump" with "marginal increase" and "was seen" with "was observed" improves precision and formality.

  9. "the statistics register around 0.3 billion" -> "the statistics show approximately 0.3 billion"
    Explanation: Using "show" instead of "register" and adding "approximately" enhances the clarity and precision of the sentence.

  10. "a small investment during the 2008-2009 period" -> "a modest investment from 2008 to 2009"
    Explanation: Replacing "small" with "modest" and restructuring the time frame provides a more refined expression.

  11. "trivial pump of 0.2 billion" -> "marginal increase of 0.2 billion"
    Explanation: Replacing "trivial pump" with "marginal increase" adds precision and clarity to the description of the investment change.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends in UK investments in clean energy from 2008 to 2015. The writer presents key features and bullet points related to wind energy, solar power, and other technologies for producing eco-friendly energy. The response is generally well-developed and organized.

How to improve:
To enhance the essay and potentially achieve a higher band score, the writer could extend the discussion of key features and bullet points, providing more specific details and analysis. Additionally, a more varied vocabulary and sentence structure could contribute to a more sophisticated presentation. Ensure that details are accurate and relevant, as inaccuracies or irrelevant information may affect the overall quality of the response. Overall, a more in-depth exploration of the data and a refined language use can lead to a stronger essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information, maintaining clear progression throughout the response. Each paragraph focuses on a central topic, contributing to the overall coherence. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, creating a smooth flow within and between sentences. However, there is a slight overuse of certain cohesive devices, and the use of referencing could be more varied.

The essay appropriately manages paragraphing, with each paragraph contributing to the overall structure and clarity of the response. The introduction provides a concise overview, and the subsequent paragraphs present a detailed analysis of the investment trends in clean energy sources. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main features discussed in the essay.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence, the writer should aim for a more varied use of cohesive devices. Additionally, while the essay demonstrates overall logical organization, avoiding slight overuse of certain cohesive devices will further refine the writing. Ensuring a more diverse range of referencing and substitution will contribute to a more sophisticated and cohesive essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

The essay demonstrates a commendable range of vocabulary, utilizing specific terms such as "delineates," "surge," "plunge," "modest," "stabilizing," "peak," "attracted," "register," "trivial," and "varying." These words enhance the overall lexical variety and contribute to a clear presentation of ideas. The candidate uses less common vocabulary with moderate success, showing awareness of style and collocation, which aligns with the Band 7 descriptor. While there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and occasional errors in word formation ("pump" instead of "bump" for a small increase), they do not significantly hinder understanding.

How to Improve:
To further enhance lexical resource and accuracy, aim to incorporate a wider range of less common vocabulary while ensuring precision in word choice and collocation. Careful proofreading can help in identifying and rectifying minor errors, refining the essay’s vocabulary, and achieving an even higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.5

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable command of grammatical structures and accuracy. A variety of complex sentence structures are employed, contributing to the overall fluency of the essay. The majority of sentences are error-free, and even when errors occur, they are minor and do not impede communication significantly. The essay effectively uses a range of grammatical structures to convey information clearly.

How to improve: To move towards a Band 8, consider refining the complexity of sentence structures even further. While the essay already employs a variety of complex sentences, strive for a more seamless integration of intricate structures. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation details to minimize any remaining minor errors. Overall, maintaining this level of grammatical accuracy while further enhancing sentence complexity will contribute to achieving a Band 8 in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided chart illustrates the financial allocations for clean energy investments in the UK from 2008 to 2015. Overall, wind energy emerged as the predominant recipient of investment over the 7-year span. Notably, there was a discernible uptrend in expenditure on alternative energy sources.

In 2008, the investment in wind energy stood at approximately £2 billion, experiencing a substantial surge to around £6 billion in 2009, followed by a significant decline to below £2 billion in 2011. Subsequently, there was a remarkable upswing, reaching approximately £9 billion in 2015.

Solar power witnessed a more gradual introduction to investments, with a modest allocation of nearly £0.5 billion in 2010. This figure increased steadily to about £2.5 billion in 2011, stabilizing until 2013 and further rising to a peak of £3 billion, concluding the period at £2.6 billion in 2015.

In the realm of eco-friendly energy production technologies, there was a minor investment during 2008-2009, amounting to £0.1 billion. From 2010 to 2013, this figure registered a gradual increase to around £0.3 billion, with a marginal uptick to £0.2 billion in 2015.

Simultaneously, investments in other forms of clean energy totaled approximately £0.25 billion between 2008 and 2010, subsequently fluctuating between £0.4 billion and £1 billion for the remainder of the period.

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