The graph below shows the percentages of tourists who used different types of transport to travel within a particular nation between 1989 and 2009. Each tourist may have used more than one type of transport. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph below shows the percentages of tourists who used different types of transport to travel within a particular nation between 1989 and 2009. Each tourist may have used more than one type of transport.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph provides information about transport preferences among tourists in a specific country from 1989 to 2009. Each method of transport may have been used more than once by tourists.
Overall, most tourists used cars to travel for the majority of the period; however, rail travel became the most popular way of getting around from 2006 onwards. Additionally, while traveling by air saw a decline in popularity over the years, the opposite was true for that of other forms of transport.
Looking at coach and ferry, in 1989, the percentage of tourists going by these two means of transport accounted for an insignificant 8% and 3%, respectively. These two figures then rose gradually over time, albeit at different rates, reaching 21% and 11% in 2004, accordingly. From that point, while the figure for coach continued to grow and peaked at 26% at the end of the period, the figure for ferry saw a slight decrease, dropping to just 8% in 2009.
Turning to car and rail travel, initially, a considerable 48% of tourists chose cars to traverse, significantly higher than the number of rail users which was only 34%. Both figures witnessed exponential growth in the following decade, being 61% and 45% in 1999, respectively. From then on, car travel experienced a sharp decline in popularity as the number of tourists using this form of transport went down to just over 50%. Rail travel, however, saw the opposite trend as the number of users increased markedly to 57% at the end of the period. Regarding air travel, despite being the second-most popular means of transport in 1989 with approximately 38% of tourists traveling, it saw a gradual and continuous decline in users over time; and in 2009, only 21% of tourists were recorded traveling by air.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"transport preferences among tourists" -> "transportation preferences among tourists"
Explanation: "Transportation" is a more formal and precise term in academic writing, aligning better with the context of discussing modes of travel. -
"may have been used more than once" -> "may have been employed multiple times"
Explanation: "Employed multiple times" is more formal and precise, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. -
"most tourists used cars" -> "the majority of tourists opted for cars"
Explanation: "Opted for" is a more formal expression than "used," which is typically less specific in this context. -
"getting around" -> "traveling"
Explanation: "Traveling" is more formal and specific than "getting around," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"the opposite was true" -> "the converse was true"
Explanation: "The converse was true" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase than "the opposite was true." -
"accounted for an insignificant 8% and 3%" -> "represented a negligible 8% and 3%"
Explanation: "Represented" is more precise and formal than "accounted for," and "negligible" is a more academic term than "insignificant." -
"These two figures then rose gradually" -> "These percentages then increased gradually"
Explanation: "Percentages" is more specific and appropriate in this context than "figures," which can refer to various types of data. -
"peaked at 26%" -> "reached a peak of 26%"
Explanation: "Reached a peak of" is a more formal and precise way to describe the highest point in a trend. -
"dropped to just 8%" -> "fell to 8%"
Explanation: "Fell" is a more concise and formal term than "dropped to just," which is slightly informal. -
"a considerable 48%" -> "a significant 48%"
Explanation: "Significant" is more appropriate in academic writing than "considerable," which can be vague. -
"exponential growth" -> "rapid growth"
Explanation: While "exponential" is not incorrect, "rapid growth" is more commonly used in academic contexts to describe significant increases. -
"sharp decline" -> "marked decline"
Explanation: "Marked" is a more formal synonym for "sharp," fitting better in academic writing. -
"went down to just over 50%" -> "decreased to approximately 50%"
Explanation: "Decreased to approximately" is more formal and precise than "went down to just over," which is somewhat colloquial. -
"saw the opposite trend" -> "experienced the converse trend"
Explanation: "Experienced the converse trend" is a more formal and precise way to describe a change in direction. -
"only 21% of tourists were recorded traveling by air" -> "only 21% of tourists were recorded to travel by air"
Explanation: Adding "to" before "travel" corrects the grammatical structure, making the sentence more formal and grammatically correct.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 8
Band Score: 8.0
Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in the graph, highlighting the key features and making relevant comparisons. The essay is well-organized and easy to follow.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes in the percentages of tourists using each type of transport. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of tourists using cars decreased by 11% between 1999 and 2009.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. Each paragraph addresses specific transport methods, allowing for a coherent flow of information. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances of slight overuse, particularly in the transitions between ideas. The central topic of each paragraph is clear, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to enhance the natural flow of ideas. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphing is consistently logical and that transitions between paragraphs are smoother would improve coherence. More explicit referencing could also help to reduce redundancy and enhance clarity.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying information about the transport preferences of tourists. The use of less common lexical items, such as "exponential growth" and "insignificant," shows an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the opposite was true for that of other forms of transport," which could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, while spelling and word formation are generally accurate, there are minor inaccuracies that do not impede communication but could be improved for a higher score.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more sophisticated range of vocabulary and improved precision in word choice. The writer should aim to minimize errors in phrasing and ensure that all lexical items are used correctly in context. Incorporating a wider variety of uncommon vocabulary and ensuring that all collocations are appropriate would also enhance the overall lexical resource. Additionally, maintaining clarity and coherence in complex sentences would further strengthen the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which indicates good control of grammar and punctuation. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that do not significantly impede communication, but they are noticeable enough to prevent a higher score. The use of linking words and phrases is effective, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining grammatical accuracy and reducing errors. This can be done by proofreading the essay for common mistakes and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed correctly. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of grammatical structures and varying sentence lengths could enhance the overall complexity and flexibility of the writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The graph provides information about transport preferences among tourists in a specific country from 1989 to 2009. Each method of transport may have been used more than once by tourists.
Overall, most tourists used cars to travel for the majority of the period; however, rail travel became the most popular way of getting around from 2006 onwards. Additionally, while air travel saw a decline in popularity over the years, the opposite was true for other forms of transport.
Looking at coach and ferry travel, in 1989, the percentage of tourists using these two means of transport accounted for a modest 8% and 3%, respectively. These figures then rose gradually over time, albeit at different rates, reaching 21% and 11% in 2004, respectively. From that point, while the figure for coach continued to grow and peaked at 26% by the end of the period, the figure for ferry experienced a slight decrease, dropping to just 8% in 2009.
Turning to car and rail travel, initially, a substantial 48% of tourists chose cars for their journeys, significantly higher than the number of rail users, which was only 34%. Both figures witnessed significant growth in the following decade, reaching 61% and 45% in 1999, respectively. From then on, car travel experienced a sharp decline in popularity, with the number of tourists using this form of transport falling to just over 50%. In contrast, rail travel saw the opposite trend, as the number of users increased markedly to 57% by the end of the period. Regarding air travel, despite being the second-most popular means of transport in 1989, with approximately 38% of tourists traveling by air, it experienced a gradual and continuous decline over time; by 2009, only 21% of tourists were recorded as traveling by air.
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