The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.

The line graph illustrates the production volume of the primary different types of fuel in the UK from 1981 to 2000.

Looking from an overall, it is readily apparent that the production of petroleum was higher significantly than both coal and natural gas throughout the period given. Moreover, the quantity of petroleum and natural gas increased, the opposite was true in the case of coal.

Initially, the figure for petroleum in the UK was greatest at approximately 90 units before rising dramatically to 140 units in 1985 and staying at this level until 1987. However, the figure experienced a considerable decrease to 100 units in 1991, a subsequent upward trend to reach the peak of 145 units in 1999 before ending at 140 units.

Natural gas’s figure stood at about 39 units at the beginning of the period, significantly lower than coal’s at 80 units. Between 1981 and 1989, the figure for natural gas stayed unchanged at 40 units, whereas coal’s substantially fluctuated with the figure plunged to about 39 units in 1984 and climbed to 60 units in 1986. From 1987 to 2000, both kinds of fuel witnessed opposite trends with natural gas production steady growth surpassing coal production in 1991 and ending at 100 units and coal production moderately falled to about 35 units at the end.

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Errors and Improvements:

"primary different types of fuel" -> "primary fuel types"
Explanation: Simplifying "primary different types of fuel" to "primary fuel types" improves clarity and conciseness without altering the meaning.
"Looking from an overall" -> "From an overall perspective"
Explanation: Replacing "Looking from an overall" with "From an overall perspective" enhances formality and clarity, providing a smoother transition to the analysis.
"higher significantly" -> "significantly higher"
Explanation: Rearranging "higher significantly" to "significantly higher" adheres to standard adverb placement, improving the sentence’s grammatical structure.
"quantity" -> "production volume"
Explanation: Substituting "quantity" with "production volume" adds specificity and precision, providing a clearer description of the data presented.
"the opposite was true" -> "conversely"
Explanation: Replacing "the opposite was true" with "conversely" introduces a more sophisticated transition, enhancing the essay’s coherence and flow.
"Initially, the figure for petroleum" -> "Initially, petroleum production"
Explanation: Restructuring "Initially, the figure for petroleum" to "Initially, petroleum production" improves readability and reduces redundancy by directly referring to the subject.
"greatest" -> "highest"
Explanation: Replacing "greatest" with "highest" maintains clarity while employing a more precise term to describe the peak production level.
"before rising dramatically" -> "experiencing a dramatic rise"
Explanation: Substituting "before rising dramatically" with "experiencing a dramatic rise" enhances clarity and provides a more vivid description of the change in production volume.
"staying at this level until" -> "remaining constant until"
Explanation: Changing "staying at this level until" to "remaining constant until" offers a clearer expression of the stability in production volume over a specific period.
"considerable decrease" -> "significant decline"
Explanation: Replacing "considerable decrease" with "significant decline" maintains formality while conveying the magnitude of the reduction in production volume more effectively.
"a subsequent upward trend" -> "followed by an upward trend"
Explanation: Rearranging "a subsequent upward trend" to "followed by an upward trend" improves sentence structure and coherence.
"witnessed opposite trends" -> "exhibited contrasting trends"
Explanation: Substituting "witnessed opposite trends" with "exhibited contrasting trends" introduces a more precise and formal description of the diverging patterns in production volume.
"steadily growth" -> "steady growth"
Explanation: Correcting "steadily growth" to "steady growth" ensures grammatical accuracy and clarity in describing the consistent increase in production volume.
"moderately falled" -> "moderately fell"
Explanation: Rectifying "moderately falled" to "moderately fell" corrects the grammatical error and maintains consistency in verb tense throughout the essay.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the task by providing an overview of the main trends in fuel production in the UK from 1981 to 2000. It covers key features such as the production volumes of petroleum, coal, and natural gas over time. The trends are generally well-described, although there are some inaccuracies and the details could be more precise.
How to improve: To improve, provide more accurate and precise descriptions of the data. Avoid generalizations and ensure that all data points are clearly presented and correctly interpreted. Additionally, consider expanding on the key features to provide a more detailed analysis of the trends.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. Each paragraph focuses on a central topic, such as petroleum, natural gas, and coal production, respectively. The essay effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas within and between sentences, maintaining coherence. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to structure the essay, aiding readability and clarity.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure consistency in referencing and substitution throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to the clarity of expression to avoid any potential ambiguity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, including technical terms such as "petroleum," "natural gas," and "coal." There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "plunged" and "witnessed opposite trends," although there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, the phrase "Looking from an overall" is awkward and could be improved for clarity. Additionally, there are occasional errors in word formation and spelling, such as "falled" instead of "fell."

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, strive for greater precision and accuracy in word choice and collocation. Instead of "Looking from an overall," consider a clearer phrase like "From an overall perspective." Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will also enhance the clarity and coherence of the essay. Finally, expanding the range of vocabulary with more varied and sophisticated terms would further elevate the lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing various grammatical structures. There is an attempt to present complex ideas with some success, although there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout. For instance, the opening phrase "Looking from an overall" is grammatically incorrect and could be revised for clarity. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("coal production moderately falled"), which impact the overall accuracy of the essay. Despite these errors, the essay generally maintains coherence and communicates the main trends depicted in the graph.

How to improve:

Enhance sentence clarity and grammatical accuracy by carefully proofreading for errors such as subject-verb agreement and awkward phrasings.
Utilize a wider range of complex sentence structures to add depth and sophistication to the analysis.
Practice using punctuation consistently and appropriately to improve overall readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line graph depicts the production volume of various types of fuel in the UK from 1981 to 2000.

Overall, it is evident that petroleum consistently outpaced coal and natural gas in production throughout the given period. Additionally, while petroleum and natural gas production exhibited an upward trend, coal production experienced a decline.

At the outset, petroleum production in the UK was highest, reaching approximately 90 units, before experiencing a significant increase to 140 units by 1985, maintaining this level until 1987. Subsequently, there was a notable decrease to 100 units in 1991, followed by a subsequent rise, reaching its peak at 145 units in 1999, before stabilizing at 140 units by 2000.

Initially, natural gas production stood at about 39 units, significantly lower than coal, which began at 80 units. Between 1981 and 1989, natural gas production remained constant at 40 units, while coal production experienced substantial fluctuations, plummeting to approximately 39 units in 1984 and peaking at 60 units in 1986. From 1987 to 2000, both fuels exhibited opposite trends, with natural gas production steadily increasing, surpassing coal production in 1991 and reaching 100 units by the end of the period, while coal production moderately declined to about 35 units.