The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant
The graph gives information about the age of the population of Iceland between 1990 and 2020
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant
The graph illustrates the stage of the inhabitants of Iceland from 1990 to 2020
Overall,Brown shows age from 25 to 54 years old as the highest percentage to the other 4 colors.The three colors orange ,yellow ,light blue represent a decreasing population from 1990 to 2020.In summary throught the chart we see that the age group from 55 to 64 years old remained stable over the years and is the least in the remaining colors
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"The graph illustrates the stage of the inhabitants of Iceland from 1990 to 2020" -> "The graph depicts the demographic structure of Iceland’s population from 1990 to 2020"
Explanation: "Depicts" is more precise and formal than "illustrates" in this context, and "demographic structure" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "stage." -
"Overall,Brown shows age from 25 to 54 years old as the highest percentage to the other 4 colors." -> "Overall, the brown segment represents the highest percentage of individuals aged 25 to 54 compared to the other four segments."
Explanation: This revision clarifies the meaning by specifying what is being represented and uses more formal language. "Individuals aged" is more precise than "age from 25 to 54 years old." -
"The three colors orange,yellow,light blue represent a decreasing population from 1990 to 2020." -> "The orange, yellow, and light blue segments indicate a decline in population from 1990 to 2020."
Explanation: Using "segments" instead of "colors" is more accurate in this context, as it refers to the demographic groups represented by each color. "Indicate" is more formal than "represent," and "decline" is more specific than "decreasing." -
"In summary throught the chart we see that the age group from 55 to 64 years old remained stable over the years and is the least in the remaining colors" -> "In summary, the chart reveals that the age group from 55 to 64 years old remained stable over the years, and it is the smallest among the remaining segments."
Explanation: "Reveals" is more formal than "we see," and "smaller" is more precise than "least." Additionally, "segments" is used consistently throughout the text for consistency and clarity.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4
Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the three colors orange, yellow, light blue represent a decreasing population from 1990 to 2020." This is not a clear and accurate description of the data. The essay also does not make comparisons where relevant.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The essay should also highlight the key features of the data, such as the age group with the highest percentage of the population. The essay should also make comparisons where relevant, such as comparing the percentage of the population in each age group in 1990 to the percentage in 2020.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4
Band Score: 4.0
Explanation: The essay presents some information about the age distribution of the population in Iceland, but it lacks coherent organization and clear progression. The ideas are not arranged logically, making it difficult for the reader to follow the trends presented in the graph. The use of cohesive devices is basic and at times inaccurate, leading to confusion. Additionally, the paragraphing is inadequate, as there is no clear separation of ideas, which further detracts from the overall coherence of the response.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing the information by clearly defining paragraphs for different age groups or trends. Using a wider range of cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, would help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the information flows logically from one point to the next will improve the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to convey the information from the graph, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There are noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as "inhabitants" instead of "population," and "throught" instead of "through." These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the message clearly. Additionally, the use of colors to describe age groups lacks clarity and precision, which further detracts from the overall effectiveness of the lexical resource.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including more specific terms related to demographics and population statistics. Incorporating less common lexical items and ensuring correct spelling and word formation would also improve clarity. Furthermore, the writer should focus on using varied sentence structures and linking words to create a more cohesive and sophisticated response.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentence forms. While there are attempts at more complex sentences, these are not consistently accurate, leading to frequent grammatical errors. For example, phrases like "Brown shows age" and "throught the chart" contain inaccuracies that can confuse the reader. Additionally, punctuation issues, such as the lack of spaces after commas, detract from clarity. Overall, while the meaning is generally understandable, the errors can cause some difficulty for the reader.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex forms. Practicing the correct use of punctuation and ensuring that subject-verb agreements are maintained will also help. Additionally, proofreading for common errors and seeking feedback on sentence construction can lead to improved accuracy and clarity in writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
The graph illustrates the age distribution of the population of Iceland from 1990 to 2020. Overall, the age group of 25 to 54 years old, represented by the color brown, shows the highest percentage compared to the other four colors. The three colors orange, yellow, and light blue indicate a decreasing population from 1990 to 2020. Throughout the chart, it is evident that the age group of 55 to 64 years old remained stable over the years and has the lowest percentage among the remaining colors.
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