The graph shows electricity production (in terawatt hours) in France between 1980 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows electricity production (in terawatt hours) in France between 1980 and 2012.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph illustrates the electricity making in France from various sources from 1980 to 2012, measured in terawatt-hours (TW-h).
In general, it is evident that nuclear power emerged as the dominant source of electricity over the period, while thermal and hydroelectric sources showed contrasting trends.
In 1980, thermal energy was the leading source, producing approximately 400 TW-h. However, this figure steadily declined, reaching around 100 TW-h by 2000. In contrast, nuclear energy saw significant growth, starting from about 100 TW-h in 1980 and peaking at nearly 400 TW-h by the early 2000s, before stabilizing in the following years.
Hydroelectric power production remained quite consistent, fluctuating slightly around 60-70 TW-h throughout the period. Meanwhile, renewable energy sources, although starting from a low base of roughly 10 TW-h in 1980, experienced a gradual increase, reaching about 20 TW-h by 2000.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"electricity making" -> "electricity generation"
Explanation: "Electricity making" is an incorrect term. "Electricity generation" is the correct term, which is widely used in academic and formal contexts to describe the process of producing electricity.
"various sources" -> "different sources"
Explanation: "Various" can be vague and less specific. "Different" is more precise and suitable for academic writing, emphasizing the distinct types of energy sources.
"measured in terawatt-hours (TW-h)" -> "measured in terawatt-hours (TW-h)"
Explanation: This is a minor correction to ensure consistency in the unit of measurement throughout the essay.
"In general, it is evident that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "In general" is redundant in this context as "evident" already implies a general observation. Removing "in general" streamlines the sentence and maintains academic tone.
"thermal and hydroelectric sources" -> "thermal and hydroelectric power"
Explanation: "Sources" is less specific than "power," which directly refers to the energy generated, enhancing precision in the context of discussing electricity production.
"showed contrasting trends" -> "displayed divergent trends"
Explanation: "Showed" is somewhat informal and vague; "displayed" is more formal and precise, and "divergent" is a more academic term than "contrasting" in this context.
"producing approximately" -> "producing approximately"
Explanation: This is a minor correction to maintain consistency in the use of the unit "TW-h" throughout the essay.
"starting from about" -> "beginning at approximately"
Explanation: "Starting from about" is less formal and slightly vague. "Beginning at approximately" is more precise and formal, suitable for academic writing.
"peaking at nearly" -> "peaking at almost"
Explanation: "Peaking at nearly" is less formal and slightly awkward. "Peaking at almost" is more natural and formal, fitting the academic style better.
"stabilizing in the following years" -> "remaining relatively stable in the subsequent years"
Explanation: "Stabilizing" is somewhat informal and vague. "Remaining relatively stable" is more precise and formal, and "subsequent" is preferred over "following" in academic contexts for describing time sequences.
"fluctuating slightly around" -> "varying slightly around"
Explanation: "Fluctuating" can imply a more dramatic change, whereas "varying" is more neutral and precise, fitting the context of slight changes in hydroelectric power production.
"although starting from a low base" -> "although beginning from a low base"
Explanation: "Starting" is less formal than "beginning," which is more commonly used in academic texts to describe the initiation of a process or trend.

These corrections enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 8

Band Score: 8

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in electricity production in France between 1980 and 2012. It accurately identifies the dominant source of electricity (nuclear power) and highlights the contrasting trends of thermal and hydroelectric sources. The essay also presents and illustrates key features, such as the steady decline of thermal energy and the significant growth of nuclear energy.

How to improve: The essay could be further improved by providing more specific details about the changes in electricity production, such as the exact figures for the peak and trough points of each source. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more concise and focused introduction, which clearly states the main trends and comparisons that will be discussed.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout the response. It effectively highlights the main trends in electricity production in France, with a clear central topic in each paragraph. However, while cohesive devices are used appropriately, there are instances where they could be better integrated to enhance flow. For example, transitions between the discussion of different energy sources could be smoother. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 7 due to its coherent structure and logical progression, but it lacks the sophistication and seamlessness required for a higher score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the use of cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence structures and linking phrases could improve the overall flow of the essay. Finally, ensuring that each paragraph not only presents a clear topic but also connects more fluidly to the next would strengthen coherence and cohesion further.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the information from the graph. The use of terms like "dominant source," "significant growth," and "fluctuating" shows an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "electricity making," which is not a standard expression. Additionally, while the vocabulary is generally appropriate, there are minor errors in spelling and word formation that do not impede overall communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from using a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring more precise word choices. Avoiding awkward phrases and ensuring that all terminology is contextually appropriate would enhance clarity. Furthermore, incorporating more varied sentence structures and linking phrases could improve the overall fluency and coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns with the criteria for Band 7. The writer effectively uses a mix of simple and complex sentences to convey information about electricity production in France. While there are some grammatical errors, they do not significantly impede communication. The overall control of grammar and punctuation is good, though a few inaccuracies are present.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and increasing the variety of sentence structures. This could involve reducing minor errors and ensuring that more complex sentences are used correctly. Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence openings could further improve the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The graph illustrates electricity production in France from various sources between 1980 and 2012, measured in terawatt-hours (TWh). In general, it is evident that nuclear power emerged as the dominant source of electricity over the period, while thermal and hydroelectric sources exhibited contrasting trends.

In 1980, thermal energy was the leading source, producing approximately 400 TWh. However, this figure steadily declined, reaching around 100 TWh by 2000. In contrast, nuclear energy experienced significant growth, starting from about 100 TWh in 1980 and peaking at nearly 400 TWh by the early 2000s, before stabilizing in the subsequent years.

Hydroelectric power production remained relatively consistent, fluctuating slightly around 60-70 TWh throughout the period. Meanwhile, renewable energy sources, although beginning from a low base of roughly 10 TWh in 1980, experienced a gradual increase, reaching about 20 TWh by 2000.