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The increasing presence of multinational companies and globalization is believed by some to have positive implications for everyone involved. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing presence of multinational companies and globalization is believed by some to have positive implications for everyone involved. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Globalization and the emergence of various multinational enterprises are encouraged in many nations. Some people argue that this has no significant benefits due to the dominance of developed countries and the possibility of brain drain. However, I suppose that these international companies definitely have a positive impact thanks to the variety of experience and cemented relationships that they offer.
On the one hand, there are various reasons why some people believe that multinational collaboration may not bring merits to the country. Firstly, the more developed countries may seem to take advantage of the other countries. The developed countries are thought to work with the developing countries merely to alleviate the workforce and property costs which potentially reduces the reliability of international companies. Moreover, the brain drain phenomenon may exist. Employees working in these companies possibly work in earnest to make contributions to other countries instead of their nation.
On the other hand, I contend that multinational companies certainly have a positive influence. In the first place, these enterprises facilitate cross-cultural workplaces where employees can gain a unique experience. When working with foreigners, people can cultivate a variety of skills such as teamwork, programming techniques. Additionally, these global companies are a driving force behind a supportive relationship among countries. For example, in COVID-19, many countries are able to overcome this period thanks to the collaboration and collective endeavors among countries. They also help foster a sense of cultural tolerance and appreciation for other countries.
Opponents of multinational companies may argue that local people may have difficulty in working because of the language barrier. While this is a valid concern, I opine that with the advancement of dictionary application and the rudimentary language knowledge people acquire through basic training, employees can radically communicate with others.
In conclusion, despite potential implications international enterprises may have, I believe that the remarkable benefits that the nation yield from these companies overshadow the minor drawbacks.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Some people argue that" -> "Some critics contend that"
    Explanation: Replacing "Some people argue that" with "Some critics contend that" adds a more formal and sophisticated tone, aligning with academic style.

  2. "due to the dominance" -> "owing to the dominance"
    Explanation: Substituting "due to" with "owing to" enhances the formality of the sentence and maintains a more academic register.

  3. "However, I suppose that" -> "However, I posit that"
    Explanation: Replacing "I suppose that" with "I posit that" introduces a more formal and assertive expression, contributing to a stronger academic tone.

  4. "merely to alleviate the workforce and property costs" -> "primarily to mitigate labor and infrastructure expenses"
    Explanation: The phrase "merely to alleviate" is replaced with "primarily to mitigate," offering a more precise and formal description of the intent behind multinational collaboration.

  5. "in the first place" -> "first and foremost"
    Explanation: Substituting "in the first place" with "first and foremost" maintains the sequence while providing a more formal and nuanced transition.

  6. "facilitate cross-cultural workplaces" -> "foster cross-cultural work environments"
    Explanation: Changing "facilitate" to "foster" and "workplaces" to "work environments" maintains a formal tone while expressing the idea more elegantly.

  7. "programming techniques" -> "programming skills"
    Explanation: Replacing "programming techniques" with "programming skills" is more precise and commonly used in academic contexts.

  8. "a driving force behind" -> "a catalyst for"
    Explanation: Substituting "a driving force behind" with "a catalyst for" adds a more formal and sophisticated touch to the statement.

  9. "they also help foster" -> "they also contribute to fostering"
    Explanation: Adding "contribute to" before "fostering" enhances the formality of the sentence without sacrificing clarity.

  10. "While this is a valid concern, I opine that" -> "Although a valid concern, I posit that"
    Explanation: Replacing "While this is a valid concern, I opine that" with "Although a valid concern, I posit that" introduces a more formal and structured expression.

  11. "dictionary application" -> "language translation applications"
    Explanation: Substituting "dictionary application" with "language translation applications" offers a more encompassing term in the context of overcoming language barriers.

  12. "radically communicate" -> "effectively communicate"
    Explanation: Changing "radically communicate" to "effectively communicate" maintains clarity while using a more standard and formal phrase.

  13. "despite potential implications international enterprises may have" -> "despite potential implications that international enterprises may entail"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity, replacing "have" with "entail" maintains a formal tone and aligns with academic language standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "Some people argue that this has no significant benefits due to the dominance of developed countries and the possibility of brain drain."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: The introduction provides a clear stance on the topic, which is commendable. However, the assertion that "this has no significant benefits" is too extreme and may oversimplify the issue. Consider acknowledging potential drawbacks while also highlighting the positive aspects for a more balanced approach. For instance, you could mention that while concerns exist, there are tangible benefits that should not be overlooked.
    • Improved example: "While concerns about the dominance of developed countries and the potential for brain drain exist, it’s essential to recognize the multifaceted nature of the impact of multinational companies. They bring both challenges and significant benefits to the involved nations."
  2. Quoted text: "Firstly, the more developed countries may seem to take advantage of the other countries."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: Your argument lacks specificity and could be strengthened by providing concrete examples or reasons supporting the claim that developed countries take advantage of others. This would enhance the depth of your idea development. For instance, you could cite historical instances or well-known cases where developed nations exploited developing ones, making your point more persuasive.
    • Improved example: "Historical instances, such as the exploitation of natural resources in certain developing nations by economically powerful countries, illustrate the potential for developed nations to take advantage. This phenomenon raises valid concerns about the equitable nature of multinational collaborations."
  3. Quoted text: "Additionally, these global companies are a driving force behind a supportive relationship among countries. For example, in COVID-19, many countries are able to overcome this period thanks to the collaboration and collective endeavors among countries."

    • Explanation and Suggestions for Improvement: While your point is valid, the example lacks specificity and could be strengthened by providing a more detailed illustration of how multinational companies facilitated global collaboration during the COVID-19 pandemic. Mentioning specific instances or initiatives would enhance the credibility of your argument.
    • Improved example: "For instance, multinational pharmaceutical companies played a pivotal role in ensuring equitable access to COVID-19 vaccines worldwide through initiatives such as COVAX. This demonstrates how global companies can contribute significantly to overcoming global challenges."

Overall, the essay presents a balanced view but would benefit from more nuanced arguments with specific examples to enhance clarity and persuasiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay presents a coherent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. It attempts to present both sides of the argument, although the development of ideas is somewhat imbalanced. There’s an effort to logically organize information, yet the progression throughout the essay isn’t consistently smooth. The essay uses cohesive devices effectively in some instances, but there are areas where the cohesion between sentences could be improved. Paragraphing is attempted, but there’s inconsistency in logical placement and development.

How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on the overall flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph maintains a clear central topic and contributes distinctly to the overall argument. Focus on smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to create a more seamless progression of ideas. Additionally, pay attention to consistent and logical paragraph structuring throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing some flexibility and precision in expression. The writer employs less common lexical items with a degree of awareness of style and collocation. Although there are occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, they do not significantly impede communication. The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and presents a clear stance.

How to improve: To move towards a higher band score, strive for more precise and sophisticated word choices. Pay careful attention to the accuracy of less common vocabulary and ensure that collocations are used appropriately. Review and correct minor errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation to enhance overall lexical control. Consider incorporating a broader range of vocabulary to convey ideas with even greater nuance.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, showcasing a range of sentence forms. There is evidence of good control of grammar and punctuation, with the majority of sentences being error-free. However, occasional errors and inappropriacies are present but are more like ‘slips’ and do not significantly hinder communication.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, pay closer attention to the occasional errors and inappropriacies. Proofread the essay to catch and correct these minor slips, ensuring a consistently error-free presentation. Additionally, strive for more precision in language use to elevate the overall quality of expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

The increasing prevalence of multinational companies and globalization is encouraged in many nations. Some argue that this brings no significant benefits due to the dominance of developed countries and the possibility of brain drain. However, I believe that these international companies indeed have a positive impact thanks to the diverse experiences and solid relationships they offer.

On one hand, there are reasons why some people believe that multinational collaboration may not bring benefits to the country. Firstly, more developed countries may take advantage of other countries, working with developing nations primarily to reduce workforce and property costs, potentially undermining the reliability of international companies. Moreover, the phenomenon of brain drain may exist, with employees possibly contributing more to other countries than their own.

On the other hand, I contend that multinational companies certainly have a positive influence. Firstly, these enterprises facilitate cross-cultural workplaces where employees can gain unique experiences. When working with foreigners, people can develop various skills such as teamwork and programming techniques. Additionally, these global companies play a crucial role in fostering supportive relationships among countries. For example, during COVID-19, many countries overcame challenges thanks to collaborative efforts. They also contribute to a sense of cultural tolerance and appreciation for other nations.

Opponents of multinational companies may argue that local people may struggle in the workplace due to language barriers. While this is a valid concern, I believe that with the advancement of dictionary applications and the basic language knowledge people acquire through training, employees can effectively communicate with others.

In conclusion, despite potential drawbacks that international enterprises may bring, I believe that the significant benefits nations derive from these companies outweigh the minor drawbacks.

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