The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

In the past few decades, the internet has brought significant changes to our lives .Although there are a few reasons why the Internet’s effects are disadvantageous, I believe that there are more reasonable grounds that this invention holds great promises.

To begin with, the Internet is a vast source of information that we could use for ,whether it is for studying or research. With just a click of a button, we will get millions of results, rather than searching for it in libraries. As a result, we could save time to put to a more productive use. Because of its vastness, many people argue that it contains harmful contents from fake news to explicit content. However, I believe with the raising awareness about this problem, overall it is beneficial.

Another point is that since the invention of the Internet, it has revolutionized the communication between each person. Despite the risk of being socially isolated by staying on the Internet for too long, we could still benefit from this technology. Using apps like Messenger, we can call and message our friends and family far away from our place. Moreover, we can find like-minded people online, which would help us develop our social life.

In summary, although there are still some problems such as toxic information or social isolation, its advantages far outweigh the drawbacks. This is why we should maintain the overall positive effects of the internet

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the past few decades" -> "Over the past few decades"
Explanation: "Over" is a more formal and precise preposition than "in" when referring to a period of time, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"holds great promises" -> "holds great promise"
Explanation: "Promise" is the singular form of the noun, which is grammatically correct in this context, aligning with the singular subject "this invention."
"we could use for" -> "it can be used for"
Explanation: "It can be used for" is more formal and precise, improving the subject-verb agreement and the clarity of the sentence.
"we will get millions of results" -> "we can access millions of results"
Explanation: "Can access" is a more precise and formal way to describe the action of retrieving information online, enhancing the academic tone.
"put to a more productive use" -> "utilized more productively"
Explanation: "Utilized more productively" is a more formal and concise expression, suitable for academic writing.
"Because of its vastness, many people argue that it contains" -> "Due to its vast scope, some argue that it includes"
Explanation: "Due to its vast scope" is more precise and formal than "Because of its vastness," and "includes" is a more accurate verb choice than "contains" in this context.
"raising awareness about this problem" -> "increasing awareness of this issue"
Explanation: "Increasing awareness of this issue" is a more formal and precise phrase, suitable for academic writing.
"it has revolutionized the communication between each person" -> "it has revolutionized interpersonal communication"
Explanation: "Interpersonal communication" is a more specific and academically appropriate term than "the communication between each person."
"we could still benefit from this technology" -> "we can still benefit from this technology"
Explanation: "Can" is more assertive and formal than "could" in this context, aligning better with the assertive tone of academic writing.
"Using apps like Messenger" -> "Utilizing apps such as Messenger"
Explanation: "Utilizing" is more formal than "Using," and "such as" is more precise than "like" in formal writing.
"we can find like-minded people online" -> "we can connect with like-minded individuals online"
Explanation: "Connect with" is a more formal and precise verb choice than "find," and "individuals" is more formal than "people."
"which would help us develop our social life" -> "which can aid in the development of our social lives"
Explanation: "Can aid in the development of our social lives" is more formal and precise, improving the academic tone of the sentence.
"although there are still some problems" -> "although there are still certain challenges"
Explanation: "Certain challenges" is a more formal and precise term than "some problems," fitting better in an academic context.
"its advantages far outweigh the drawbacks" -> "its advantages significantly outweigh the disadvantages"
Explanation: "Significantly outweigh the disadvantages" is a more formal and precise expression, enhancing the academic tone of the conclusion.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by acknowledging both the positive and negative effects of the Internet. However, it lacks a thorough exploration of the negative aspects, which are only briefly mentioned. The statement "there are a few reasons why the Internet’s effects are disadvantageous" is vague and does not provide specific examples or depth. The essay does not fully articulate the reasons why the overall effect is positive, leading to an incomplete response to the prompt.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly outline both the negative and positive effects of the Internet with specific examples. For instance, discussing the impact of misinformation or cyberbullying as negative aspects, while elaborating on the benefits of access to information and global communication, would provide a more balanced view.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The writer expresses a clear belief that the Internet’s positive effects outweigh the negative ones. However, the position is not consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The initial statement suggests a balanced view, but the subsequent paragraphs do not strongly support this assertion. The conclusion reiterates the positive stance but lacks a strong summarization of the arguments made.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should explicitly state their viewpoint in the introduction and ensure that each paragraph reinforces this stance. Using transitional phrases like "On the other hand" or "Despite these drawbacks" can help clarify the position throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents some ideas, such as the Internet being a source of information and a tool for communication. However, these ideas are not sufficiently extended or supported. For example, the claim about the Internet saving time lacks specific examples or data to substantiate it. The mention of "toxic information" is also vague and not elaborated upon.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should provide specific examples, statistics, or anecdotes to support their claims. For instance, discussing how online learning platforms have transformed education could effectively illustrate the positive impact of the Internet. Additionally, addressing counterarguments more thoroughly would strengthen the overall argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the Internet’s effects. However, the mention of "toxic information" and "social isolation" feels underdeveloped and somewhat disconnected from the main argument about the overall positive effects. The essay could benefit from a clearer connection between these points and the central thesis.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the prompt. They can achieve this by explicitly linking each negative aspect discussed to the overall argument about the Internet’s impact, thus reinforcing the relevance of each point to the topic.

In summary, to improve the essay’s band score, the writer should aim for a more comprehensive exploration of both sides of the argument, maintain a consistent position, provide detailed support for their ideas, and ensure all points are directly related to the prompt. Additionally, addressing the word count requirement is crucial, as being under the word limit can significantly affect the overall score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that the overall effect of the Internet is positive, supported by two main points: the vast availability of information and the revolution in communication. However, the organization could be improved. For instance, the transition from discussing the benefits of information access to communication is somewhat abrupt. The introduction sets up the argument well, but the body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences that explicitly connect back to the thesis statement.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using more explicit transitions between paragraphs. For example, after discussing the benefits of information access, a transition sentence could be added to lead into the next point about communication, such as, "In addition to providing information, the Internet has also transformed how we communicate with one another." This would help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect of the argument. However, the first paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the advantages of information access and the other addressing the counterarguments regarding harmful content. This would allow for a more balanced discussion of both sides before concluding with the overall positive perspective.
- How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. Additionally, consider using more supporting sentences within each paragraph to elaborate on the points made. For example, in the paragraph discussing communication, you could further explain how specific applications enhance social connections.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "to begin with," "another point," and "in summary," which help guide the reader through the argument. However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and some transitions feel mechanical. For example, the phrase "As a result" could be replaced with a more varied expression to enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, the use of pronouns and conjunctions could be more effectively varied to avoid repetition.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "another point," consider alternatives like "furthermore," "in addition," or "moreover." Additionally, using phrases like "on the other hand" when presenting counterarguments can create a more nuanced discussion. Practicing the use of different cohesive devices in writing exercises can also help in developing this skill.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, improving the logical organization, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices will contribute to a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "revolutionized," "vast source of information," and "toxic information." However, the vocabulary choices are somewhat repetitive, particularly in the phrases used to describe the Internet’s effects. For instance, "significant changes" and "great promises" are somewhat generic and could be replaced with more specific terms that convey a deeper meaning.
- How to improve: To enhance lexical variety, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more descriptive phrases. For example, instead of repeating "significant changes," alternatives like "transformative impacts" or "profound alterations" could be used. Additionally, employing a broader range of adjectives and adverbs can add depth to the argument.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "harmful contents" could be more accurately expressed as "harmful content," as "content" is an uncountable noun in this context. Furthermore, the phrase "the raising awareness" should be corrected to "the rising awareness" to convey the intended meaning accurately.
- How to improve: Writers should pay close attention to word forms and collocations. A good practice would be to review common phrases and their correct usage. For instance, instead of "the raising awareness," the writer could use "the increasing awareness" or simply "awareness is growing." Keeping a thesaurus handy can also help in selecting more precise vocabulary.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few minor spelling errors, such as the space before the period in "lives .Although" and the inconsistent capitalization of "Internet." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch these errors. Additionally, familiarizing oneself with common spelling rules and practicing frequently misspelled words can enhance overall spelling proficiency.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of vocabulary usage, there is room for improvement in terms of variety, precision, and spelling accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance the overall quality of their lexical resource in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "to begin with" and "another point is that" effectively introduces new ideas. However, the essay relies heavily on straightforward sentence constructions, which can make the writing feel somewhat repetitive. For example, the sentence "Using apps like Messenger, we can call and message our friends and family far away from our place" could be enhanced by incorporating more complex structures or varied introductory phrases.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer could experiment with different ways to start sentences, such as using adverbial clauses (e.g., "While some may argue that the Internet fosters isolation, it also provides unprecedented connectivity"). Additionally, incorporating more relative clauses and conditional sentences could enhance complexity. For example, instead of saying "it has revolutionized the communication between each person," the writer could say, "it has revolutionized the way individuals communicate with one another."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For instance, there is a missing space before "Although" in the first sentence, and the phrase "for ,whether it is for studying or research" contains an unnecessary comma and awkward phrasing. Additionally, the sentence "Because of its vastness, many people argue that it contains harmful contents from fake news to explicit content" could be improved by using "harmful content" instead of "harmful contents" for grammatical accuracy.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on proofreading their work to catch minor errors, such as misplaced commas and awkward phrasing. Practicing the correct use of articles and plural forms will also be beneficial. For example, the phrase "the Internet’s effects are disadvantageous" could be rephrased for clarity and conciseness as "the Internet has some negative effects." Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding commas and conjunctions, will help in crafting clearer sentences.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and a reasonable command of English, focusing on sentence variety and grammatical precision will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the past few decades, the internet has brought significant changes to our lives. Although there are a few reasons why the Internet’s effects are disadvantageous, I believe that there are more reasonable grounds to say that this invention holds great promise.

To begin with, the Internet is a vast source of information that we can use for studying or research. With just a click of a button, we can access millions of results, rather than searching for information in libraries. As a result, we can save time to put to more productive use. Due to its vast scope, many people argue that it includes harmful content, from fake news to explicit material. However, I believe that with the increasing awareness of this issue, overall it is beneficial.

Another point is that since the invention of the Internet, it has revolutionized interpersonal communication. Despite the risk of being socially isolated by staying on the Internet for too long, we can still benefit from this technology. Utilizing apps such as Messenger, we can call and message our friends and family who are far away. Moreover, we can connect with like-minded individuals online, which can aid in the development of our social lives.

In summary, although there are still certain challenges such as toxic information or social isolation, its advantages significantly outweigh the disadvantages. This is why we should maintain the overall positive effects of the internet.