the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed , but it has also created problems that did not exist before What are the most serious problems can this cause ? What are the possible solutions ?

the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed , but it has also created problems that did not exist before
What are the most serious problems can this cause ? What are the possible solutions ?

It is true that the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed , but it has also created problems that did not exist before.This can lead to some negative issues ,which calls for possible solution to be adopted
There are many problem resulting from the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed , but it has also created problems that did not exist before. One obvious issue is that misleading informations make people make wrong decisions . This is because the strangers post the falses about medications ,which means that the credulous people may belive them and have a risk of disease could be prevented easily. For example , during covid 19 pandemic , spreading the post about vaccine caused death to someone got vaccination . This prevents people from having vaccine and makes them become the patients or die by disease . Another potential issue is that the personal informations may be leak easily , which can result in scams .In fact , the internet robbers can pretend the relatives of victims and asked for help , such as money or bank accounts.
Various measures , nevertheless , can be implemented to address these issues .The first solution is that the gorvement should not only raise awareness about the benefits of vaccines but also punish hosts of pages which spread these misleading information . The second approach is that citizens could should pay more attention about asking for informations related to money and personal information . For instance , having a face to face meeting when you want to lend relative money or paying the protective platforms and companies for ensure the personal informations.
In conclusion , although the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed , but it has also created problems that did not exist before.can give rise to many issue , steps can be taken to improve the situation.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It is true that" -> "It is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and assertive way to introduce a statement, enhancing the academic tone of the essay.
"transformed the way information is shared and consumed" -> "revolutionized the dissemination and consumption of information"
Explanation: "Revolutionized" and "dissemination and consumption" are more precise and formal terms that better suit academic writing, emphasizing the significant impact of the internet on information exchange.
"created problems that did not exist before" -> "introduced novel challenges"
Explanation: "Introduced novel challenges" is a more precise and formal way to describe the emergence of new issues, avoiding the vague and colloquial "problems that did not exist before."
"calls for possible solution to be adopted" -> "requires the implementation of potential solutions"
Explanation: "Requires the implementation of potential solutions" is more formal and specific, clearly indicating the necessity for action and the type of action needed.
"There are many problem resulting from" -> "Several issues arise from"
Explanation: "Several issues arise from" is grammatically correct and more formal, improving the clarity and flow of the sentence.
"misleading informations" -> "misleading information"
Explanation: "Misleading information" should be singular to maintain grammatical consistency and accuracy in the context of a general concept.
"make people make wrong decisions" -> "lead individuals to make incorrect decisions"
Explanation: "Lead individuals to make incorrect decisions" is more formal and precise, avoiding the awkward repetition of "make" in the original phrase.
"the strangers post the falses about medications" -> "strangers post false information about medications"
Explanation: "False information" is the correct term, and "strangers" should be lowercase as it is a common noun, not a proper noun.
"the credulous people may belive them" -> "credulous individuals may believe them"
Explanation: "Credulous individuals" is a more formal and precise term, and "believe" should be capitalized as it is a verb.
"have a risk of disease could be prevented easily" -> "are at risk of contracting diseases that could be easily prevented"
Explanation: This revision clarifies the meaning and corrects the awkward phrasing, improving readability and formality.
"spreading the post about vaccine" -> "spreading posts about vaccines"
Explanation: "Posts" should be plural to match the context of multiple messages, and "vaccine" should be pluralized to "vaccines" for consistency and accuracy.
"the personal informations" -> "personal information"
Explanation: "Personal information" should be singular to maintain grammatical correctness and clarity.
"can result in scams" -> "may lead to scams"
Explanation: "May lead to" is a more formal and precise way to express potential consequences, enhancing the academic tone.
"gorvement" -> "government"
Explanation: Corrects a typographical error, ensuring the proper spelling of "government."
"citizens could should" -> "citizens should"
Explanation: "Could" is redundant in this context, as "should" is sufficient to express obligation or recommendation.
"paying the protective platforms and companies for ensure the personal informations" -> "utilize protective platforms and companies to ensure the security of personal information"
Explanation: "Utilize" and "security of personal information" are more precise and formal, improving the clarity and formality of the sentence.
"can give rise to many issue" -> "can give rise to numerous issues"
Explanation: "Numerous issues" is grammatically correct and more formal than "many issue," which is incorrect in this context.

These changes enhance the formality, precision, and clarity of the essay, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively identifies two significant problems caused by the internet: the spread of misleading information and the risk of personal information leaks. These issues are relevant to the prompt and demonstrate an understanding of the topic. However, the essay could have benefited from a more structured approach to explicitly delineate the problems and solutions. For instance, while the problems are mentioned, the solutions are somewhat vague and could be better linked to the specific issues raised.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, ensure that each problem is followed by a clearly articulated solution. For example, after discussing the issue of misleading information, a more detailed solution could include specific strategies for combating misinformation, such as educational campaigns or stricter regulations on online content.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position regarding the negative impacts of the internet, but the phrasing can sometimes lead to confusion. Phrases like "this can lead to some negative issues" and "which calls for possible solution to be adopted" are somewhat vague and do not assert a strong stance. The conclusion also introduces ambiguity with "although the internet has transformed… but it has also created problems," which could confuse readers regarding the author’s overall viewpoint.
- How to improve: To improve clarity, use definitive language that clearly states your position. Avoid unnecessary qualifiers and ensure that your thesis is straightforward. For instance, instead of saying "this can lead to some negative issues," you could say, "this has resulted in significant challenges that require urgent attention."
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas related to the problems caused by the internet, such as misinformation and privacy concerns. However, the support for these ideas is sometimes weak. The example regarding the COVID-19 vaccine is relevant but lacks depth and clarity. Additionally, the solutions proposed are somewhat generic and do not provide a strong rationale for their effectiveness.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, provide more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing the issue of misinformation, elaborate on how misinformation affects public health decisions and provide statistics or studies to support your claims. Similarly, when proposing solutions, explain why these measures would be effective and how they could be implemented.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the problems and solutions related to the internet’s impact on information sharing. However, there are moments where the writing becomes slightly convoluted, such as in the sentence structure and grammar, which can distract from the main points. For example, the phrase "the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before" is repeated, which could lead to redundancy.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the prompt. Avoid repetition and strive for varied sentence structures to keep the reader engaged. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical errors and clarity will help ensure that the essay remains coherent and on topic.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the prompt and presents relevant issues and solutions, improvements in clarity, depth of support, and structural organization could elevate the overall quality and coherence of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the topic and the dual nature of the internet’s impact. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses misleading information but lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea. The transition between discussing misleading information and personal data leaks is somewhat abrupt, which disrupts the logical flow. The conclusion reiterates the main points but does so in a way that feels slightly disconnected from the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point. Ensure that each subsequent sentence in the paragraph supports this main idea. Additionally, use transitional phrases (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand") to create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but the structure could be more effective. The first body paragraph combines multiple ideas without clear separation, making it difficult for the reader to follow. The second body paragraph presents solutions but could benefit from clearer delineation between different solutions. The conclusion, while present, could be more impactful if it succinctly summarized the key points without introducing new ideas.
- How to improve: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. For example, dedicate one paragraph to discussing the issue of misleading information and another to personal data leaks. In the solutions section, clearly separate each proposed solution into its own sentence or sub-paragraph. This will help the reader easily identify the main points and arguments.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "nevertheless," but there is a limited range of cohesive devices used throughout. Some sentences are also quite long and complex, which can hinder clarity. For instance, the phrase "which means that the credulous people may belive them and have a risk of disease could be prevented easily" is convoluted and could be simplified for better understanding.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases (e.g., "however," "in contrast," "as a result," "therefore"). Additionally, aim for sentence variety by mixing shorter and longer sentences to enhance readability. Simplifying complex sentences will also improve clarity and coherence.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant arguments, focusing on clearer organization, effective paragraphing, and a broader range of cohesive devices will help elevate the coherence and cohesion of the writing.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary, with some appropriate word choices such as "transformed," "misleading," and "scams." However, there are instances of repetition and limited variation in word choice. For example, the phrase "problems that did not exist before" is repeated verbatim, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity. Additionally, terms like "negative issues" and "personal informations" could be expressed more effectively with alternatives like "adverse effects" and "personal data."
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms and varied expressions throughout the essay. For instance, instead of repeating "problems that did not exist before," they could use phrases like "new challenges" or "emerging issues." Engaging with a thesaurus or vocabulary-building exercises could also help broaden their lexical repertoire.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are several instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that hinder clarity. For example, "misleading informations" should be corrected to "misleading information" as "information" is an uncountable noun. Furthermore, the phrase "the strangers post the falses about medications" is awkward and unclear; it would be more precise to say "unknown individuals post false information about medications." The use of "belive" instead of "believe" also indicates a lack of attention to detail in vocabulary choice.
- How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on ensuring that nouns are used correctly (e.g., singular vs. plural) and that adjectives accurately describe the nouns they modify. Reading more academic texts or essays can help the writer understand how to use vocabulary more precisely in context.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "informations," "falses," "belive," "gorvement," and "informations." These errors detract from the overall professionalism of the writing and can lead to misunderstandings. For example, "gorvement" should be "government," and "falses" should be "falsehoods" or "false information."
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should engage in regular proofreading practices. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay aloud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Learning the correct spelling of key vocabulary related to the essay topic can also aid in reducing mistakes.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates some strengths in vocabulary usage, there are notable areas for improvement that, if addressed, could lead to a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or compound, lacking the complexity that could enhance the writing. For example, the sentence "One obvious issue is that misleading informations make people make wrong decisions" uses a straightforward structure but could benefit from more varied constructions. Additionally, the use of phrases like "which means that" and "for example" indicates an attempt at complexity, but they are not effectively integrated into more complex sentence forms.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice using complex sentences that include subordinate clauses. For instance, instead of saying "This is because the strangers post the falses about medications," the writer could say, "This is primarily due to the fact that strangers often post false information about medications, which can mislead the public." Incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences will enhance the overall fluency and coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its clarity. For example, the phrase "the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed , but it has also created problems that did not exist before" has an unnecessary space before the comma. Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement, as seen in "the personal informations may be leak easily," where "informations" should be singular ("information") and "leak" should be "leaked." There are also run-on sentences, such as "This prevents people from having vaccine and makes them become the patients or die by disease," which could be broken into clearer, more concise statements.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of singular and plural nouns. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help reinforce these rules. Additionally, the writer should pay attention to punctuation, ensuring that commas are used correctly to separate clauses and that sentences are not overly long. Reading the essay aloud can also help identify awkward phrasing and run-on sentences, allowing for revisions that enhance clarity.

In summary, while the essay addresses the prompt and presents relevant ideas, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are needed to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on varied sentence structures and correcting grammatical and punctuation errors will greatly enhance the quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

There are many problems resulting from the internet’s transformation of information sharing and consumption. One obvious issue is that misleading information can lead people to make incorrect decisions. This is because strangers post false information about medications, which means that credulous individuals may believe them and are at risk of contracting diseases that could be easily prevented. For example, during the COVID-19 pandemic, spreading posts about vaccines caused some people who got vaccinated to suffer adverse effects. This prevents others from getting vaccinated and may lead them to become patients or die from diseases. Another potential issue is that personal information may be leaked easily, which can result in scams. In fact, internet robbers can pretend to be the relatives of victims and ask for help, such as money or bank account information.

Various measures, nevertheless, can be implemented to address these issues. The first solution is that the government should not only raise awareness about the benefits of vaccines but also punish the hosts of pages that spread misleading information. The second approach is that citizens should pay more attention to verifying information related to money and personal details. For instance, having a face-to-face meeting when you want to lend money to a relative or paying for protective platforms and companies to ensure the security of personal information can be effective.

In conclusion, although the internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, it has also introduced novel challenges. Steps can be taken to improve the situation and mitigate these issues.