The line graph shows the number of vehicles used Hanoi city. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of vehicles used in Ha Noi from 1990 to 2015.

Overall number of motorbikes increased significantly and the number of cars rose slowly while the figure for bicycles decreased considerably . The motorbikes group held the highest position and the bicycles group held the lowest spot.

In 1990 , the data for motorbikes stood at 500 , then from 1990 to 2005 witnessed a gradual increase in the number of motorbikes.

And there was a rise to 2100 after 10 years .Unlike motorbikes , the data stood at 60 in 1990 and then there was a grew slightly 210 after 15 years . Over 10 years from 2005 to 2015 , the number of cars rose to 310 .
The group of bicycles saw the opposite trend . The number of bicycles decreased substantially after 10 years . In the following period , that data fell considerably between 2000 and 2010. Finally , in 2010, the number of bicycles remained stable at 150

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The graph shows" -> "The graph illustrates"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is a more precise and formal term than "shows" in academic contexts, emphasizing the detailed representation of data in the graph.
"used in Ha Noi" -> "used in Hanoi"
Explanation: "Hanoi" is the correct spelling of the city’s name, and using the correct spelling enhances the professionalism of the text.
"number of vehicles" -> "number of motor vehicles"
Explanation: Adding "motor" clarifies the type of vehicles being discussed, which is important for precision in academic writing.
"increased significantly" -> "increased substantially"
Explanation: "Substantially" is a more formal synonym for "significantly," aligning better with academic language.
"rose slowly" -> "increased gradually"
Explanation: "Increased gradually" is a more precise and formal way to describe a steady, but not rapid, change in data.
"decreased considerably" -> "decreased substantially"
Explanation: Consistency in using "substantially" maintains a formal tone and avoids redundancy.
"the motorbikes group" -> "the motorbike category"
Explanation: "Category" is a more formal term than "group" in academic contexts, and "motorbike" should be singular to match the singular data point.
"held the highest position" -> "occupied the highest position"
Explanation: "Occupied" is a more formal verb choice than "held" in this context, enhancing the academic tone.
"held the lowest spot" -> "occupied the lowest position"
Explanation: Again, "occupied" is preferred over "held" for formality, and "position" is more appropriate than "spot" in an academic context.
"In 1990, the data for motorbikes stood at 500" -> "In 1990, the data for motorbikes stood at 500"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "1990" corrects the punctuation, improving readability and adherence to formal writing standards.
"witnessed a gradual increase" -> "experienced a gradual increase"
Explanation: "Experienced" is a more precise verb in this context, indicating a direct impact on the data.
"a rise to 2100" -> "a rise to 2,100"
Explanation: Adding commas to the numerical value improves readability and clarity.
"there was a grew" -> "there was a growth"
Explanation: "Growth" is a noun and is more appropriate here than the verb "grew," which is incorrectly used.
"the number of cars rose to 310" -> "the number of cars increased to 310"
Explanation: "Increased" is a more formal and accurate verb than "rose" in this context, describing a quantitative change.
"The group of bicycles saw the opposite trend" -> "The bicycle category exhibited an opposite trend"
Explanation: "Exhibited" is more formal and precise than "saw," and "category" is preferred over "group" for a more academic tone.
"decreased substantially" -> "decreased significantly"
Explanation: Consistency in terminology maintains a formal tone and avoids redundancy.
"fell considerably" -> "decreased significantly"
Explanation: Consistency in terminology enhances the formal tone and avoids redundancy.
"remained stable at 150" -> "remained steady at 150"
Explanation: "Steady" is a more precise term than "stable" in this context, indicating a consistent level without change.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the main trends in the graph, but it lacks a clear and concise summary of the key features. The essay also includes some irrelevant details, such as the specific number of motorbikes in 1990.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more focused and concise overview of the main trends. The writer should also avoid including irrelevant details and focus on highlighting the key features of the graph. For example, the writer could state that the number of motorbikes increased significantly, while the number of cars increased slowly and the number of bicycles decreased considerably. The writer could also highlight the fact that the number of motorbikes was the highest, while the number of bicycles was the lowest.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to summarize the data and make comparisons, the structure is somewhat disjointed, leading to confusion in the flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the relationships between the data presented. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sentences lacking clear connections to the main topic of each paragraph.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on creating a clearer structure with logical progression. This can be achieved by using cohesive devices more effectively and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Additionally, improving the accuracy of referencing and substitution will help reduce repetition and clarify relationships between ideas. Finally, ensuring that paragraphing is logical and consistent will contribute to a more coherent overall presentation of information.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the trends in vehicle usage, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, lacking the variety and sophistication expected at higher band levels. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "there was a grew slightly" instead of "there was a slight increase," which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Additionally, the use of phrases like "the group of bicycles saw the opposite trend" is somewhat awkward and does not convey the intended meaning clearly.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are precise and appropriate for the context. Practicing synonyms and varying sentence structures can help reduce repetition. Furthermore, attention to grammatical accuracy and collocation will improve clarity and coherence in the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentences with some attempts at complex forms. While there are some accurate sentences, frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("there was a grew slightly") and punctuation issues (e.g., inconsistent spacing), hinder clarity. These errors can cause difficulty for the reader, particularly in understanding the intended meaning.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of sentence structures, incorporating more complex sentences accurately. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate grammatical errors and improve punctuation will enhance clarity. Practicing the use of varied vocabulary and ensuring that all sentences are grammatically correct will also contribute to a stronger performance in this criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

The graph shows the number of vehicles used in Hanoi from 1990 to 2015.

Overall, the number of motorbikes increased significantly, while the number of cars rose slowly, and the figure for bicycles decreased considerably. The motorbikes category held the highest position, whereas the bicycles category occupied the lowest spot.

In 1990, the data for motorbikes stood at 500, and from 1990 to 2005, there was a gradual increase in the number of motorbikes. This figure rose to 2,100 after 10 years. In contrast, the number of cars began at 60 in 1990 and then grew slightly to 210 over the next 15 years. During the period from 2005 to 2015, the number of cars rose to 310.

The bicycles category saw an opposite trend. The number of bicycles decreased substantially over the first 10 years. In the following period, the data fell considerably between 2000 and 2010. Finally, in 2010, the number of bicycles remained stable at 150.