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The majority of news being reported is bad news such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. Why do you think that is? Do you think the news should be a balance of both good and bad news?

The majority of news being reported is bad news such as wars, famines, accidents and crime.
Why do you think that is?
Do you think the news should be a balance of both good and bad news?

The emerging bad headlines of news such as wars, famines, accidents and criminal issues take prevalence over the positive information across many mass media. From my perspective, it is true these days, but the news should blend well between good and bad news to balance people’s opinion threads.
Now, negative news has always been on top of headlines of almost all mass media, and networking sites spreading out throughout the world. This outcome simply comes from increasing accidents, disasters, wars, famines in African countries and criminal issues throughout the world. Besides, thrilling words of headlines would attract more attention from audiences than normal positive recapped events. Therefore, many newspapers, namely the New York Times, Economist, and The Guardian,… use many strong words such as ’’tragedy, grasping, breathtaking,…’ with high frequency to catch people's attention.
Although bad news is always an alarming clock warning people of many consequences, making good and bad news at a balanced level would alleviate the negative pressure on the populace. If the audiences were always surrounded by bad information from magazines, press, articles, broadcasting audios,…There would be nothing for them to reduce stress and entertain. Besides, it is necessary to praise brilliant values in society

In conclusion, people pay more attention to gloomy information, which is constantly all over the news. People's tendency to focus on these is interwoven with human nature, but positive information is also crucial, so finding the balance between them is a no-brainer.

In conclusion, people pay more attention to gloomy information, which is constantly all over the news. People's tendency to focus on these is interwoven with human nature, but positive information is also crucial, so finding the balance between them is the no-brainer.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "bad headlines" -> "negative headlines"
    Explanation: Replacing "bad headlines" with "negative headlines" is a more precise and formal term, aligning with academic language.

  2. "take prevalence" -> "prevail"
    Explanation: "Take prevalence" is less formal; using "prevail" provides a more academically appropriate expression.

  3. "these days" -> "currently" or "presently"
    Explanation: "These days" is somewhat informal; replacing it with "currently" or "presently" enhances the formality of the expression.

  4. "blend well between" -> "strike a balance between"
    Explanation: "Blend well between" is less formal; "strike a balance between" is a more sophisticated way to express the idea.

  5. "opinion threads" -> "viewpoints"
    Explanation: "Opinion threads" is informal; substituting it with "viewpoints" maintains a formal tone and is more academically suitable.

  6. "on top of headlines" -> "at the forefront of headlines"
    Explanation: "On top of headlines" is colloquial; using "at the forefront of headlines" is more formal and appropriate in an academic context.

  7. "spread out throughout" -> "spread worldwide" or "disseminated globally"
    Explanation: "Spread out throughout" is repetitive; using "spread worldwide" or "disseminated globally" is more concise and formal.

  8. "thrilling words of headlines" -> "sensational language in headlines"
    Explanation: "Thrilling words of headlines" is informal; "sensational language in headlines" is a more academically appropriate phrase.

  9. "grasping" -> "compelling"
    Explanation: "Grasping" might be considered too informal; "compelling" is a more sophisticated synonym that maintains the intended meaning.

  10. "breathtaking" -> "remarkable" or "stunning"
    Explanation: "Breathtaking" is somewhat informal; using "remarkable" or "stunning" adds a more formal touch.

  11. "with high frequency" -> "frequently"
    Explanation: "With high frequency" is redundant; using "frequently" is more concise and maintains a formal tone.

  12. "broadcasting audios" -> "audio broadcasts"
    Explanation: "Broadcasting audios" is awkward; using "audio broadcasts" is a more appropriate and concise expression.

  13. "gloomy information" -> "negative information"
    Explanation: "Gloomy information" is informal; using "negative information" is a more formal term.

  14. "is interwoven with human nature" -> "is inherent in human nature"
    Explanation: "Is interwoven with" is somewhat informal; "is inherent in" is a more formal and precise choice.

  15. "the no-brainer" -> "an obvious choice" or "self-evident"
    Explanation: "The no-brainer" is colloquial; using "an obvious choice" or "self-evident" is more formal and suitable in an academic context.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

  1. Quoted text: "The emerging bad headlines of news such as wars, famines, accidents and criminal issues take prevalence over the positive information across many mass media. From my perspective, it is true these days, but the news should blend well between good and bad news to balance people’s opinion threads."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The introduction establishes the writer’s perspective and the need for a balance between good and bad news, which is good. However, the phrase "blend well between good and bad news to balance people’s opinion threads" is unclear and lacks specificity. To improve, consider providing a concise summary of the main points that will be discussed in the essay to enhance clarity and guide the reader.
    • Improved example: "While negative news often dominates headlines, I believe there should be a harmonious blend of positive and negative information in the news to ensure a balanced public opinion. In this essay, I will explore the reasons behind the prevalence of bad news and argue for the importance of maintaining equilibrium in news reporting."
  2. Quoted text: "Now, negative news has always been on top of headlines of almost all mass media, and networking sites spreading out throughout the world. This outcome simply comes from increasing accidents, disasters, wars, famines in African countries and criminal issues throughout the world."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The paragraph starts well by acknowledging the prevalence of negative news. However, the explanation lacks depth and specificity. Instead of making broad statements, provide concrete examples or reasons to support the claim. Additionally, the reference to African countries may seem stereotypical; consider offering a more nuanced explanation.
    • Improved example: "Negative news consistently dominates headlines due to a rise in global incidents such as accidents, disasters, wars, and famines. For instance, the increased coverage of criminal issues worldwide contributes to the overwhelming presence of negative news. It is crucial to delve into specific examples and global trends to strengthen your argument."
  3. Quoted text: "Although bad news is always an alarming clock warning people of many consequences, making good and bad news at a balanced level would alleviate the negative pressure on the populace."

    • Explanation and Improvement Suggestions: The idea presented is somewhat vague, lacking concrete examples or reasons to support the claim. To enhance the argument, provide specific instances or consequences of negative news and explain how a balanced news approach can mitigate these effects.
    • Improved example: "While bad news serves as a warning signal for potential consequences, its constant presence can negatively impact society. For instance, prolonged exposure to distressing news can contribute to heightened stress levels among the populace. Balancing negative news with positive information not only provides relief but also fosters a more optimistic societal outlook."

Overall, the essay addresses the task but lacks depth in idea development, with some points needing more clarity and specificity for a more persuasive argument.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to organize ideas coherently with a clear overall progression. There is an effort to use cohesive devices effectively, but there are instances where cohesion within and between sentences is mechanical or faulty. Paragraphing is present, yet not consistently logical throughout the essay. There’s a central topic within each paragraph, but some aspects lack clarity.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on maintaining a consistent logical flow throughout the essay. Ensure that the use of cohesive devices is more natural and fluid, avoiding mechanical constructions. Additionally, pay attention to paragraph structure and coherence within and between paragraphs to improve overall clarity and progression of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
This essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, utilizing some less common vocabulary items. There are attempts made to use varied words and expressions, although with occasional inaccuracies and repetitions. The essay showcases a mix of vocabulary relevant to the topic, incorporating terms like "prevalence," "recapped," "alleviate," "gloomy," "interwoven," among others. However, there are instances where word choices lack precision and sophistication, and some repetitive phrases are evident.

How to improve:
To enhance the lexical resource, aim for greater diversity in vocabulary without excessive repetition. Focus on using precise and accurate terms that convey the intended meaning more effectively. Expand vocabulary by incorporating a broader range of sophisticated and contextually appropriate words. Additionally, refine word choice to maintain consistency and fluency throughout the essay, minimizing repetitions and inaccuracies. Lastly, proofreading can help identify and rectify errors in word formation and spelling to further elevate the lexical quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There is an attempt to use a variety of structures, but the complexity is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. While some sentences are error-free, others contain grammatical errors, and punctuation is occasionally faulty. The essay maintains communication despite these errors, but they may distract the reader at times. There is an effort to express ideas clearly, and the essay shows some control of grammar and punctuation.

How to improve:

  1. Sentence Structure: Aim for more consistent use of complex sentence structures. Vary the length and complexity of sentences to enhance overall fluency.
  2. Grammar and Punctuation: Pay closer attention to grammar and punctuation. Review and revise sentences to eliminate errors and improve overall accuracy.
  3. Clarity and Cohesion: Ensure that ideas are presented in a clear and cohesive manner. This involves organizing thoughts logically and connecting ideas effectively.

Note: While the essay attempts to address the prompt and provides a reasonably well-structured response, improvements in grammar, punctuation, and sentence complexity would elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The prevalence of negative news, such as wars, famines, accidents, and criminal incidents, dominates the headlines in various mass media outlets. In my view, while this is indeed the case nowadays, it is essential for the news to strike a balance between both positive and negative narratives to ensure a well-rounded public perspective.

Negative news has consistently held the top spot in headlines across a multitude of mass media platforms and global networking sites. This trend is primarily a result of the rising occurrences of accidents, disasters, wars, famines in African countries, and criminal issues worldwide. Additionally, attention-grabbing words in headlines, such as “tragedy,” “grasping,” and “breathtaking,” are frequently employed by prominent newspapers like the New York Times, Economist, and The Guardian to captivate the audience.

While negative news serves as a vital warning about potential consequences, maintaining a balance between good and bad news can help alleviate the adverse impact on the public. Constant exposure to negative information from various sources, including magazines, press, articles, and broadcasted audio content, may contribute to heightened stress levels and a lack of entertainment for the audience. Furthermore, it is crucial to acknowledge and celebrate positive values within society.

In conclusion, the inclination of people to focus on distressing information, which pervades the news consistently, is deeply rooted in human nature. However, recognizing the importance of positive information is equally fundamental. Striking a balance between the two is not only necessary but also a logical choice. In doing so, we can ensure a more nuanced and holistic understanding of the world around us.

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