The majority of news being reported is bad news, such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. Why is this the case? Should there be a balance between good and bad news on the mass media?

It is true that a number of media have provided more negative news, such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. This essay will first outline the underlying cause of this phenomenon before suggesting some viable measures to balance between positive and negative news.

To begin with, bad news can be attributed to two main reasons. The main cause of this new trend may be derived from the journalistic imperative. The prevalence of bad news coming from its inherent attention-grabbing nature. Negative events and other significant societal issues elicit strong emotional responses in people. Another factor that contributes to this situation is bad news garnering more attention like coverage of a natural disaster and public health crisis. For example, news about the Yagi storm can raise awareness about the importance of disaster preparedness, encouraging people to take preventive measures such as securing their homes, following evacuation orders, and staying informed about weather updates.

It is imperative that there should be a balance between good and bad news on the mass media but this is difficult to do for many reasons. The main reason is that in the media landscape, outlets are always highly competitive. Therefore, journalists have to be under constant pressure to maximize viewership. They have to write more news that is negative in nature to attract attention-grabbing. Positive news, though uplifting, typically does not evoke the same urgency or curiosity. Another factor is that many phenomenons occur everyday and journalists don’t know what will happen. For instance, a sudden natural disaster like an earthquake can occur without warning. When such an event happens, it takes precedence in the news because it is urgent and affects many people. The unpredictable nature of negative events often forces journalists to focus on these stories, making it difficult to maintain a balance between good and bad news.

In conclusion, while the prevalence of negative news in the media can be attributed to its ability to capture attention and inform the public about urgent issues. However, it is essential for the media to strive for a more balanced approach, providing coverage of both positive developments and negative events to offer a more comprehensive and accurate reflection of reality.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"a number of media" -> "numerous media outlets"
Explanation: "Numerous media outlets" is more precise and formal, specifying the type of entities being referred to, which enhances clarity and academic tone.
"provided more negative news" -> "reported more negative news"
Explanation: "Reported" is more specific and appropriate in the context of journalism, indicating the act of publishing news, which is more precise than the vague "provided."
"wars, famines, accidents and crime" -> "wars, famines, accidents, and crimes"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "accidents" corrects the punctuation, and changing "crime" to "crimes" pluralizes the noun to match the plural context, enhancing grammatical accuracy.
"The main cause of this new trend may be derived from" -> "The primary cause of this trend may be attributed to"
Explanation: "Attributed to" is more academically precise than "derived from," which is less commonly used in this context, and "primary" is more formal than "main."
"bad news coming from its inherent attention-grabbing nature" -> "negative news stemming from its inherent attention-grabbing nature"
Explanation: "Negative news" is more specific and formal than "bad news," and "stemming from" is a more precise preposition than "coming from."
"garnering more attention like coverage of a natural disaster and public health crisis" -> "attracting more attention, such as coverage of natural disasters and public health crises"
Explanation: "Attracting" is more formal than "garnering," and "such as" is more appropriate than "like" in this context. Also, "natural disasters" and "public health crises" should be plural to match the plural context.
"news about the Yagi storm" -> "news about the Yasi storm"
Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "Yagi" to "Yasi," which is the correct name of the storm.
"It is imperative that there should be a balance" -> "It is imperative to achieve a balance"
Explanation: "To achieve a balance" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward construction "there should be."
"but this is difficult to do for many reasons" -> "but this is challenging to accomplish for several reasons"
Explanation: "Challenging to accomplish" is more formal and precise than "difficult to do," and "several reasons" is more specific than "many reasons."
"They have to write more news that is negative in nature" -> "They must publish more negative news"
Explanation: "Publish" is more specific to the context of journalism, and "must" is more formal than "have to."
"many phenomenons occur everyday" -> "many phenomena occur daily"
Explanation: "Phenomena" is the correct plural form of "phenomenon," and "daily" is more formal than "everyday."
"journalists don’t know what will happen" -> "journalists are unaware of what may occur"
Explanation: "Are unaware of what may occur" is more formal and precise, avoiding the informal "don’t know."
"it takes precedence in the news" -> "it assumes priority in the news"
Explanation: "Assumes priority" is a more formal expression than "takes precedence," fitting better in an academic context.
"strive for a more balanced approach" -> "endeavor to adopt a more balanced approach"
Explanation: "Endeavor to adopt" is more formal and precise than "strive for," enhancing the academic tone.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Task Response: 8

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt. It identifies reasons for the predominance of bad news, such as the attention-grabbing nature of negative events and the competitive media landscape. Additionally, it discusses the necessity for a balance between good and bad news. However, the response could have been more explicit in linking the reasons to the need for balance, which would enhance the overall coherence of the argument.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should ensure that each reason provided directly connects to the need for balance. For instance, after discussing why bad news is prevalent, the essay could explicitly state how these reasons justify the need for a more balanced approach, thereby reinforcing the relationship between the two parts of the question.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges the dominance of bad news while advocating for a balance. The stance is consistent, as seen in the concluding statement. However, the phrase "it is imperative that there should be a balance" could be more assertively stated to strengthen the position.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity and assertiveness, the writer could use more definitive language throughout the essay. For example, instead of saying "it is imperative that there should be a balance," the writer could state, "a balance between good and bad news is essential." This change would provide a stronger, more authoritative tone.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the emotional impact of bad news and the competitive nature of media. It supports these ideas with examples, like the Yagi storm, which illustrates the importance of disaster preparedness. However, some points could benefit from further elaboration, particularly the suggestion for measures to achieve balance.
- How to improve: To improve the development of ideas, the writer should include more specific examples or case studies that illustrate successful instances of balanced reporting. Additionally, proposing concrete measures for achieving this balance would strengthen the argument and provide a clearer path forward.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay remains focused on the topic throughout, discussing the reasons for the prevalence of bad news and the necessity for balance. There are no significant deviations from the prompt. However, some sentences could be more concise to enhance clarity and focus.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should aim for brevity and precision in language. For instance, phrases like "the unpredictable nature of negative events often forces journalists to focus on these stories" could be simplified to "the unpredictability of negative events compels journalists to prioritize them." This would streamline the argument and keep the reader’s attention on the main points.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. With minor adjustments in clarity, elaboration, and focus, it could achieve an even higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 8

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 8

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed. The body paragraphs are logically sequenced, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the topic. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the reasons for the prevalence of bad news, while the second addresses the challenges of achieving a balance between good and bad news. This logical progression aids the reader in following the argument effectively.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that explicitly state the main idea. Additionally, integrating transitional phrases between ideas within paragraphs can help clarify connections and improve overall coherence.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively employs paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids readability. Each paragraph focuses on a distinct point, contributing to the overall argument. However, the second body paragraph could benefit from further subdivision, as it contains multiple ideas that could be more clearly delineated.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. If a paragraph becomes too lengthy or contains multiple points, consider breaking it into two separate paragraphs. For example, the discussion on competition among media outlets and the unpredictability of negative events could be split for clarity.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good use of cohesive devices, such as "To begin with," "Another factor," and "In conclusion," which guide the reader through the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be more varied to enhance the sophistication of the writing. For instance, the phrase "this is difficult to do for many reasons" could be more effectively linked to the previous sentence with a cohesive device that indicates contrast or consequence.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," or "Conversely," to connect ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help reduce repetition and improve cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of coherence and cohesion, effectively organizing information and using paragraphs to structure the argument. By refining the use of topic sentences, enhancing paragraph structure, and diversifying cohesive devices, the essay can achieve an even higher level of clarity and sophistication.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "journalistic imperative," "attention-grabbing nature," and "disaster preparedness." However, the vocabulary tends to be somewhat repetitive, particularly with the use of "bad news" and "negative." The phrase "bad news can be attributed to two main reasons" could be enhanced by using synonyms or more varied expressions to avoid redundancy.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related phrases. For example, instead of repeatedly saying "bad news," you might use "adverse events," "negative reports," or "unfavorable news." Additionally, incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to media and psychology could elevate the essay’s lexical quality.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay generally conveys its ideas clearly, there are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "bad news garnering more attention like coverage of a natural disaster" could be misleading. It suggests that all bad news is equal in terms of attention, which is not necessarily accurate. Furthermore, the phrase "to balance between positive and negative news" could be more precisely stated as "to achieve a balance between positive and negative news."
- How to improve: Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the nuances of your arguments. Instead of saying "bad news garnering more attention," you might say "bad news often receives more coverage due to its sensational nature." This not only clarifies your point but also demonstrates a more sophisticated command of language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally displays good spelling; however, there are a few errors that detract from the overall quality. For example, "phenomenons" should be "phenomena," and "Yagi storm" lacks context and may be a misspelling or misreference. Such errors can confuse readers and undermine the credibility of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider implementing a proofreading strategy. After completing your essay, take a moment to read through it carefully, focusing on commonly misspelled words. Additionally, using spell-check tools or writing apps can help catch errors before submission. Familiarizing yourself with commonly used terms in the context of media and journalism will also aid in avoiding such mistakes.

By addressing these areas—expanding vocabulary range, ensuring precise usage, and improving spelling accuracy—the essay can achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some compound sentences. For example, phrases like "To begin with, bad news can be attributed to two main reasons" and "The main reason is that in the media landscape, outlets are always highly competitive" showcase the use of introductory phrases and clauses effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, such as starting several sentences with "Another factor" or "The main cause," which can detract from the overall variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, consider varying the sentence openings and incorporating more complex structures. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "Another factor," try using alternatives like "Additionally," "Moreover," or "Furthermore." Additionally, integrating more subordinate clauses can add depth to your sentences, e.g., "While bad news captures attention, it is crucial to also highlight positive developments."
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, but there are notable errors that affect clarity. For instance, the phrase "The prevalence of bad news coming from its inherent attention-grabbing nature" lacks a verb and reads awkwardly. Additionally, the sentence "Another factor that contributes to this situation is bad news garnering more attention like coverage of a natural disaster and public health crisis" could benefit from clearer punctuation, such as commas, to separate ideas.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on ensuring that each sentence is complete and clearly conveys its intended meaning. For example, revise the problematic sentence to something like, "Another factor contributing to this situation is that bad news garners more attention, particularly in cases like natural disasters and public health crises." Additionally, pay attention to punctuation; using commas to separate clauses and items in a list can enhance readability. Regular practice with grammar exercises and reviewing common punctuation rules will also be beneficial.

By addressing these areas, you can work towards achieving a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

It is true that numerous media outlets have reported more negative news, such as wars, famines, accidents, and crimes. This essay will first outline the primary cause of this trend before suggesting some viable measures to achieve a balance between positive and negative news.

To begin with, the prevalence of bad news can be attributed to two main reasons. The primary cause of this trend may be derived from the journalistic imperative. Negative news stems from its inherent attention-grabbing nature. Such events elicit strong emotional responses in people, making them more likely to engage with the content. Another factor contributing to this situation is that negative news garners more attention, particularly coverage of natural disasters and public health crises. For example, news about the Yasi storm can raise awareness about the importance of disaster preparedness, encouraging people to take preventive measures such as securing their homes, following evacuation orders, and staying informed about weather updates.

It is imperative to achieve a balance between good and bad news in the mass media, but this is challenging to accomplish for several reasons. The main reason is that in the media landscape, outlets are always highly competitive. Therefore, journalists are under constant pressure to maximize viewership. They must publish more negative news to attract attention, as positive stories, though uplifting, typically do not evoke the same urgency or curiosity. Another factor is that many phenomena occur daily, and journalists are often unaware of what may happen. For instance, a sudden natural disaster like an earthquake can occur without warning. When such an event happens, it assumes priority in the news because it is urgent and affects many people. The unpredictable nature of negative events often forces journalists to focus on these stories, making it difficult to maintain a balance between good and bad news.

In conclusion, while the prevalence of negative news in the media can be attributed to its ability to capture attention and inform the public about urgent issues, it is essential for the media to endeavor to adopt a more balanced approach. Providing coverage of both positive developments and negative events will offer a more comprehensive and accurate reflection of reality.