The map below shows the development of the village Ryemouth between 1995 and present. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent

The map below shows the development of the village Ryemouth between 1995 and present.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent

The map shows how a village called Ruyermouth has developed between 1955 and recently.

Overall ,there have been several changes, the most striking change is that the forest to the east of the city and the farmland have been replaced with the sport area.

In 1995, to the south of city where the place next ti the sea with fishing port and the large fish market. Besides, the small cafe was next to this place. On the other side of the road running by the sea flood a line of five-shop and a hotel. While to the North-East was the farmland and the park with a lot of tree. The main accommodation was situated around a main road to the North-West of the map with twelve houses, four of them encircled by a smaller side street.

Turning to the today map, It can be seen that the fishing facilities have been demolished and the line of fish department has been converted into four apartments. However, the cafe still remains with the hotel has expand plus the parking area for cars. Straight ahead to the main road the house estate has built more houses than 1995, two of them next to the four house was encircled. To the North East, the farm and the park have been transformed to the golf course and the tennis course. The amount of apartments was situated opposite the line restaurant from the main road and turn right.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The map shows how a village called Ruyermouth has developed between 1955 and recently." -> "The map illustrates the development of the village of Ruyermouth from 1955 to the present day."
Explanation: The original phrase is awkwardly structured and informal. The revised version uses more precise language and corrects the temporal reference to "the present day," which is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.
"Overall,there have been several changes, the most striking change is that" -> "Overall, several significant changes have occurred, the most notable being that"
Explanation: The original uses a comma splice and an informal tone. The revised version corrects the punctuation and uses "significant" and "notable" to enhance the formality and precision of the description.
"the forest to the east of the city and the farmland have been replaced with the sport area." -> "the forest and farmland east of the city have been replaced by a sports area."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and vague. The revision corrects the grammatical structure and uses "sports area" for clarity and formality.
"to the south of city where the place next ti the sea with fishing port and the large fish market." -> "to the south of the city, where the area adjacent to the sea features a fishing port and a large fish market."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and lacks clarity. The revision corrects the grammar and provides a clearer description of the location.
"On the other side of the road running by the sea flood a line of five-shop and a hotel." -> "On the opposite side of the road adjacent to the sea, a line of five shops and a hotel are situated."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and uses informal language. The revision corrects the grammar and uses more formal vocabulary.
"While to the North-East was the farmland and the park with a lot of tree." -> "In the North-East, the farmland and park were characterized by numerous trees."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and informal. The revision corrects the grammar and uses more precise language.
"The main accommodation was situated around a main road to the North-West of the map with twelve houses, four of them encircled by a smaller side street." -> "The primary residential area, situated around the main road to the North-West, comprises twelve houses, four of which are encircled by a smaller side street."
Explanation: The original is awkwardly phrased and lacks clarity. The revision clarifies the description and uses more formal language.
"Turning to the today map, It can be seen that" -> "Examining the current map, it is evident that"
Explanation: The original uses an informal and incorrect phrase. The revision corrects the grammar and enhances the formality.
"the fishing facilities have been demolished and the line of fish department has been converted into four apartments." -> "the fishing facilities have been demolished, and the fish market has been converted into four apartments."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning.
"However, the cafe still remains with the hotel has expand plus the parking area for cars." -> "However, the cafe remains, along with the hotel, which has expanded, and a parking area for cars."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and informal. The revision corrects the grammar and enhances the formality.
"Straight ahead to the main road the house estate has built more houses than 1995, two of them next to the four house was encircled." -> "Moving forward along the main road, the housing estate has constructed more houses than in 1995, with two of these adjacent to the four houses that were previously encircled."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the description.
"To the North East, the farm and the park have been transformed to the golf course and the tennis course." -> "In the North-East, the farm and park have been converted into a golf course and tennis court."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and uses informal terminology. The revision corrects the grammar and uses more precise and formal language.
"The amount of apartments was situated opposite the line restaurant from the main road and turn right." -> "The apartments are situated opposite the restaurant line on the main road, accessed by turning right."
Explanation: The original is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the description.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in the village, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends or differences in the development of the village. The essay also does not adequately highlight all the key features of the map. For example, the essay does not mention the expansion of the housing area in the north-west of the map.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the development of the village. The essay could also be improved by highlighting all the key features of the map in a more detailed and accurate way. For example, the essay could mention the expansion of the housing area in the north-west of the map and the conversion of the fish market into apartments. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the changes in the village. For example, instead of saying "the farm and the park have been transformed to the golf course and the tennis course," the essay could say "the farmland and the forest park have been replaced by a golf course and a tennis court."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but it lacks clear overall progression. While there are attempts to describe changes between the two time periods, the ideas are not always logically connected, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which detracts from the clarity of the essay. Additionally, paragraphing is inconsistent; while there are some attempts to separate ideas, the structure does not follow a logical pattern, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of information.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on clearly organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a central topic. Improving the use of cohesive devices—such as linking words and phrases—will help clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that all references are clear and appropriately used will reduce confusion. Finally, revising for grammatical accuracy and clarity will strengthen the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in the village, the use of vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks precision. There are noticeable errors in spelling (e.g., "Ruyermouth," "flood a line of five-shop") and word formation (e.g., "the hotel has expand"), which may cause some difficulty for the reader. Additionally, the essay does not effectively utilize less common lexical items or demonstrate a strong awareness of style and collocation, which is necessary for a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range by incorporating more varied and precise terms related to urban development and geographical changes. They should also pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy to avoid errors that impede communication. Practicing the use of synonyms and less common vocabulary, as well as ensuring correct word forms, will help improve overall lexical proficiency.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures and attempts to use complex sentences; however, these attempts are often inaccurate. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as incorrect verb forms ("have been replaced with the sport area"), awkward phrasing ("the place next ti the sea"), and punctuation issues (e.g., inconsistent spacing). While the overall meaning can still be understood, these errors can cause some difficulty for the reader, which aligns with the characteristics of Band 5.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Expand Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures, including more complex sentences that are correctly formed.
Proofreading: Carefully check for spelling and grammatical errors before submission. This includes ensuring correct verb tenses and prepositions.
Practice Punctuation: Improve punctuation usage to enhance clarity and readability, particularly with commas and periods.
Use of Connectors: Employ linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas and sentences, which can help in structuring the essay more coherently.

Bài sửa mẫu

The map shows how a village called Ryemouth has developed between 1995 and the present.

Overall, there have been several changes; the most striking alteration is that the forest to the east of the village and the farmland have been replaced with a sports area.

In 1995, to the south of the village, there was a location next to the sea featuring a fishing port and a large fish market. Additionally, a small café was situated next to this area. On the other side of the road running along the sea, there was a line of five shops and a hotel. To the north-east, the farmland and a park with many trees were present. The main accommodation was located around a main road to the north-west of the map, consisting of twelve houses, four of which were encircled by a smaller side street.

Turning to the current map, it can be seen that the fishing facilities have been demolished, and the fish market has been converted into four apartments. However, the café still remains, while the hotel has expanded, along with the addition of a parking area for cars. Directly adjacent to the main road, a housing estate has been built, featuring more houses than in 1995, with two of them located next to the four houses that were previously encircled. To the north-east, the farmland and park have been transformed into a golf course and a tennis court. A number of apartments are now situated opposite the line of restaurants along the main road, with a right turn leading to them.