The map describes the change of a park from 1980 to now.
The illustration depicts the layout of a park in 1980 compared to the present.
Overall, different areas in the park are better connected thanks to the expansion of the main path. The park has also been upgraded with added amenities.
Looking at the 1980 map, it is clear that there was only one pathway inside the park that connected the two gates in the west and south. However, this path now expands in four different directions, providing better and free access to many areas, without any gate. On the top right corner of the layout, there was a triangle green space covered with trees, but part of it has been cleared recently to make space for additional amenities such as chairs, desks, and a barbecue.
At the bottom of the layout was spaces for flowers, the smaller area is now a bush while the bigger one is turned into a playground. To the left side, near the intersection of the park is where a pond along with several benches can be found. This has not changed much excepts for the bench addition and rearrangement, providing visitors with more seats.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
- “The illustration depicts” -> “The visual representation delineates”
Explanation: Replacing “illustration depicts” with “visual representation delineates” adds a touch of formality and sophistication to the description of the park layout.
- “Overall, different areas” -> “On the whole, various sections”
Explanation: Substituting “Overall, different areas” with “On the whole, various sections” contributes to a more varied vocabulary and a more refined expression of the park’s layout.
- “better connected thanks to” -> “enhanced connectivity owing to”
Explanation: Changing “better connected thanks to” to “enhanced connectivity owing to” elevates the language by introducing a more advanced and formal phrase.
- “upgraded with added amenities” -> “enhanced with supplementary facilities”
Explanation: Replacing “upgraded with added amenities” with “enhanced with supplementary facilities” maintains clarity while using a more precise and sophisticated term for the improvements made to the park.
- “Looking at the 1980 map” -> “Examining the map from 1980”
Explanation: Substituting “Looking at the 1980 map” with “Examining the map from 1980” results in a more formal and precise expression of the action of analyzing the map.
- “it is clear that there was only one pathway” -> “it is evident that a singular pathway existed”
Explanation: Changing “it is clear that there was only one pathway” to “it is evident that a singular pathway existed” enhances the clarity and formality of the statement.
- “without any gate” -> “without the presence of gates”
Explanation: Replacing “without any gate” with “without the presence of gates” offers a more detailed and formal description of the absence of gates in the expanded path.
- “triangle green space covered with trees” -> “triangular verdant area adorned with trees”
Explanation: Substituting “triangle green space covered with trees” with “triangular verdant area adorned with trees” introduces a more descriptive and sophisticated expression.
- “has been cleared recently” -> “has recently undergone clearance”
Explanation: Changing “has been cleared recently” to “has recently undergone clearance” maintains the chronology of the action while using a more formal and concise phrase.
- “space for additional amenities such as chairs, desks, and a barbecue” -> “area for supplementary facilities like chairs, desks, and a barbecue”
Explanation: Replacing “space for additional amenities such as chairs, desks, and a barbecue” with “area for supplementary facilities like chairs, desks, and a barbecue” maintains clarity while employing a more precise and elaborate description.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a good level of Task Achievement and aligns with the Band 7 descriptor. It adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the changes in the park from 1980 to the present. The essay identifies key features and bullet points, such as the expansion of the main path, the addition of amenities, and changes in specific areas of the park.
The essay presents a clear overview of the main trends and differences in the park layout over time. It mentions the expansion of the main path, the clearing of green space for additional amenities, the transformation of flower areas into a playground, and the modifications near the pond and benches. These key features are highlighted and explained in a reasonably clear and appropriate manner.
How to improve:
To achieve a higher band score, the essay could be improved by providing more specific and detailed descriptions of the changes. Additionally, the organization and coherence of the essay could be enhanced to create a smoother flow between different sections. Furthermore, attention to grammar and sentence structure could lead to a more polished and professional essay.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay demonstrates a generally coherent organization with a clear overall progression. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as the expansion of the main path and the addition of amenities in different areas of the park. The chronological order of information about the changes from 1980 to the present contributes to the logical flow. However, there are some instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion, such as the use of repetitive phrases like “in the park” and “the layout.” Additionally, the reference to the top right corner could be more smoothly integrated into the overall structure.
How to improve:
To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on varying sentence structures and vocabulary to avoid repetition. Additionally, careful attention to the use of cohesive devices can further improve the fluidity of the essay. Integrating details about the top right corner more seamlessly into the description of changes would contribute to a more cohesive narrative. Overall, maintaining consistency in referencing and avoiding repetitive language will help elevate the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow flexibility and precision. The writer employs varied lexical items to describe the changes in the park, effectively conveying the transformation over time. The use of phrases like “better connected,” “expansion of the main path,” and “upgraded with added amenities” reflects a suitable vocabulary range for the task. There is also an attempt to incorporate less common vocabulary, such as “amenities,” contributing to the overall lexical resource.
While there is generally accurate word choice and collocation, occasional errors in word formation and spelling are present. For instance, “excepts” should be “except,” and the sentence structure could be refined for smoother flow.
How to improve:
To enhance the Lexical Resource score, the writer should pay careful attention to word formation and spelling accuracy. Additionally, further use of sophisticated vocabulary and attention to precision could elevate the essay to a higher band score. Proofreading for minor errors and refining sentence structures will contribute to achieving a more polished and cohesive lexical presentation.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy, earning it a Band 7 score. It utilizes a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex sentences, showcasing some flexibility. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the essay generally maintains control over grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors and inaccuracies present, such as “excepts” instead of “except” and some awkward phrasing. These errors, while noticeable, do not significantly impede communication.
How to improve: To reach a Band 8 or higher, the essay could benefit from further refinement in grammar and vocabulary. Pay close attention to minor errors, such as subject-verb agreement (“excepts” should be “except”), and work on improving the overall fluency of expression. Additionally, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
Revised IELTS Task 1 Report:
The provided visual representation outlines the evolution of a park’s layout from 1980 to the present day.
The graphic illustrates the alterations in the configuration of a park over the span of four decades, comparing the situation in 1980 with the current layout.
In summary, the park’s accessibility has significantly improved due to the expansion of the main pathway, linking various sections. Additionally, notable enhancements include the incorporation of new facilities.
Examining the 1980 map, it is evident that a singular pathway interconnected the western and southern entrances. In contrast, the contemporary layout reveals a noteworthy transformation, as the original path has diverged into four directions, facilitating unobstructed access to multiple zones. Notably, the former triangular green space in the top-right corner has undergone modification, with a portion recently cleared to accommodate additional amenities like seating, desks, and a barbecue area.
At the lower section of the map, the flower beds present in 1980 have undergone changes, with the smaller area now transformed into a bush and the larger space repurposed into a playground. Towards the left side, adjacent to the park’s intersection, a pond and several benches remain, with only minor alterations such as the inclusion and rearrangement of benches, offering visitors an increased seating capacity.
(No conclusion is necessary for Task 1 reports.)
Overall, the improvements in the park’s layout, particularly the expanded pathways and added amenities, have resulted in a more inviting and versatile recreational space.