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The maps below show changes in the Spanish city of Castellion in recent times. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comprarison where relevant.

The maps below show changes in the Spanish city of Castellion in recent times. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comprarison where relevant.

The provided maps illustrate the alterations that have taken place in the Spanish city named Castellon between 2000 and present.
As can be clearly seen from the 2 layouts, the most striking differences is the construction of the new train station and some entertainment blocks. It is also notable that only the university has remained unchanged in terms of size and position.
In the west of the city, the train station is relocated to the middle with the addition of a tramline which connects to the city center and university to make way for the police station. The old market, which used to be placed between the train station and the road in the west in 2000, has now been relocated to the opposite side. Moreover, some areas for entertainment including cinema, bars and clubs are added in the south of Castellon, where the road is now just for pedestrians. In the east side, the lines of trees that were situated next to the university, were demolished and replaced by the new shopping center while the airport nearby is being built.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "the alterations that have taken place" -> "the transformations that have occurred"
    Explanation: "Transformations" conveys a sense of significant changes with a more formal tone compared to "alterations," enhancing the sophistication of the description.

  2. "layouts" -> "maps"
    Explanation: "Maps" is a more precise term for the visual representations being referred to in the context of the essay.

  3. "the most striking differences is" -> "the most notable disparities are"
    Explanation: "Disparities" is a more formal term than "differences," and using the plural form maintains grammatical agreement with "are."

  4. "It is also notable that only the university has remained unchanged" -> "Furthermore, it is noteworthy that the university stands as the sole unchanged feature"
    Explanation: Restructuring the sentence provides a more formal and elaborate expression of the idea.

  5. "relocated to the middle" -> "repositioned at the center"
    Explanation: "Repositioned" adds a level of precision to the movement of the train station, and "center" is a more formal term than "middle."

  6. "which connects to the city center and university" -> "that links the city center and university"
    Explanation: "Links" is a more active verb than "connects," providing a stronger sense of the connection between the tramline and the city center and university.

  7. "make way for the police station" -> "to accommodate the construction of the police station"
    Explanation: "Accommodate" better conveys the idea of adjusting for the new construction, and it aligns with a more formal tone.

  8. "used to be placed" -> "formerly situated"
    Explanation: "Formerly situated" is a more formal and precise way to describe the previous location of the old market.

  9. "where the road is now just for pedestrians" -> "where the road is now exclusively for pedestrian use"
    Explanation: "Exclusively for pedestrian use" clarifies that the road is solely designated for pedestrians, enhancing precision and formality.

  10. "lines of trees" -> "rows of trees"
    Explanation: "Rows" is a more specific term for the arrangement of trees, providing a clearer image.

  11. "demolished and replaced by the new shopping center" -> "removed and replaced with the new shopping center"
    Explanation: "Removed" is a more direct term than "demolished," and it maintains clarity while adding formality.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay effectively covers the main features of the maps, including the construction of a new train station, relocation of the market, addition of entertainment areas, and the development of a shopping center. It provides a clear overview of the changes in the city layout over time.
How to improve: To improve, consider providing more detailed descriptions of the changes, such as specific dimensions or capacities of the new constructions. Additionally, ensure that comparisons between the two maps are made where relevant for a more comprehensive analysis.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression. The writer uses cohesive devices effectively, though there are instances of faulty or mechanical cohesion. There is a clear central topic within each paragraph, with some logical organisation of information and ideas. However, there are areas where cohesion within or between sentences is lacking or unclear. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that cohesive devices are used more consistently and appropriately. Pay attention to paragraphing, making sure that each paragraph contains a clear central topic and is logically structured. Additionally, strive for a more varied and accurate use of cohesive devices to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering various aspects of the changes in Castellon. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "relocated," "tramline," and "demolished." However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "some entertainment blocks" and "some areas for entertainment," which could be further specified. Additionally, there are occasional errors in spelling and word formation, such as "comprarison" instead of "comparison" and "entertainment" instead of "entertainment." These errors do not significantly impede communication but are noticeable.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, strive for more precise and varied vocabulary. Instead of using vague terms like "some entertainment blocks," specify what type of entertainment facilities were added. Additionally, proofread the essay carefully to correct spelling and word formation errors. Further attention to word choice and collocation will enhance the overall lexical sophistication and accuracy of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, showcasing some variety in sentence structures. There is an attempt to use complex structures, such as subordinate clauses and participial phrases, although these could be more varied and sophisticated. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly impede communication. Overall, the essay conveys the main features of the maps and makes relevant comparisons as required by the prompt.

How to improve:
To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, try incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex ones like relative clauses, conditional sentences, and passive voice constructions. Additionally, pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation to minimize errors and ensure clearer communication. Revising and proofreading the essay can help identify and correct any lingering mistakes.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps delineate the transformations observed in Castellon, Spain, from 2000 to the present day.

It is evident from the two diagrams that the most notable changes involve the establishment of a new train station and various entertainment facilities. Additionally, it is noteworthy that the university remains unchanged both in size and position.

In the western part of the city, the train station has been relocated to a central position, accompanied by the addition of a tramline connecting it to the city center and university, thereby facilitating transportation. This relocation has made space for the construction of a police station. Furthermore, the former location of the market, situated between the original train station and the western road in 2000, has been shifted to the opposite side. Moreover, a cluster of entertainment venues, including cinemas, bars, and clubs, has been introduced in the southern region of Castellon, where the road has been designated solely for pedestrian use.

On the eastern side, the rows of trees previously adjacent to the university have been removed and replaced by a new shopping center. Concurrently, construction of an airport in the vicinity is underway, signifying further infrastructural development in the area.

Bài viết liên quan

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more…

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