The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.¬¬
The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.¬¬
The maps show the expected changes of Islip town center in terms of infrastructure rennovation.
Overall, the town centre is planned to be holistically rennovated including buiding new access roads, constructing new facilities and reallocating some of the buildings.
One of the most notable change of the town is the access roads, which now only lead straight through the town and specifically to the school and the park, will be extended to surround the whole centre, with an upgradation to dual carriageways instead of one-way roads as now. Considering the upper part of the town, which consists of the most forecasted changes. The long row of shops and the whole country side area at the moment are planned to be renovated to multiple buildings with different functions such as bus station, shopping centre, car park and new housing, counting from left to right.
The curremt main road in the middle of the town centre will be substituted by a road for pedestrians, seperating the upper and lower part of the town center. Regarding the lower part of the town, locating on the south of the map, insignificant change is planned for this areas. The shophouses, right next to the pedestrian road, are planned to remain the same. Similarly, the school and housing near by the newly extended road, will also stand still. To the south of the shops, there is a large area reserved for housing and park now, which will not be changed in the future except for an upgradation. New housing will be built and the park will be scaled down to make room for houses.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
- "rennovation" -> "renovation"
Explanation: "Rennovation" is a misspelling of "renovation." Using the correct spelling enhances the clarity and professionalism of the text. - "buiding" -> "constructing"
Explanation: "Buiding" is a typographical error. "Constructing" is a more formal and precise term to describe the process of creating new buildings or structures. - "reallocationg" -> "reallocating"
Explanation: "Reallocationg" contains a typographical error. "Reallocating" is the correct form of the word, indicating the redistribution or reassignment of resources or properties. - "upgradation" -> "upgrade"
Explanation: "Upgradation" is not a standard term; "upgrade" is the appropriate word to describe the process of improving or enhancing something. - "forecasted" -> "projected"
Explanation: "Forecasted" is acceptable but "projected" is a more formal and precise term in this context, referring to anticipated changes or developments. - "row of shops" -> "retail strip"
Explanation: "Row of shops" is a basic description. "Retail strip" is a more sophisticated term that conveys the idea of a series of shops in a commercial area. - "curremt" -> "current"
Explanation: "Curremt" is a misspelling of "current." Correcting the spelling improves the accuracy and readability of the text. - "seperating" -> "separating"
Explanation: "Seperating" contains a typographical error. "Separating" is the correct form of the word, indicating the act of creating a division or boundary between two entities. - "locating" -> "located"
Explanation: "Locating" is a verb form, while "located" is the appropriate past participle form in this context. - "shophouses" -> "storefronts"
Explanation: "Shophouses" may not be familiar to all readers. "Storefronts" is a more universally understood term referring to the front part of a store or shop facing the street. - "stand still" -> "remain unchanged"
Explanation: "Stand still" is a colloquial expression. "Remain unchanged" is a more formal and precise phrase to describe things staying the same. - "upgradation" -> "upgrade"
Explanation: "Upgradation" is a non-standard term. "Upgrade" is the appropriate word to indicate improving or enhancing something. - "scaled down" -> "reduced"
Explanation: "Scaled down" is a casual expression. "Reduced" is a more formal and precise term to describe making something smaller in size or extent.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the town center’s planned development. It provides an overview of the changes expected in terms of infrastructure renovation, including new access roads, facilities, and reallocation of buildings. Key features such as the extension of access roads, renovation of shops into various facilities, and the creation of a pedestrian road are highlighted.
How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more specific details and ensure accuracy in reporting the changes. Additionally, it could offer a clearer comparison between the current state and the planned developments, focusing more on the differences highlighted in the maps. Extending the discussion on the implications of these changes for the town’s residents or economy would also enhance the response.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion by arranging information in a somewhat clear and logical progression. It provides an overview of the planned changes in Islip town center, discussing various aspects of the development. The essay begins with a general introduction and proceeds to describe specific changes in different parts of the town, such as access roads, buildings, and facilities. However, there are some areas where the cohesion could be improved. For instance, the transition between discussing the upper and lower parts of the town could be smoother, and there are occasional instances of unclear referencing, such as when mentioning "the upper part of the town" without prior clarification.
How to improve:
- Clearer referencing: Ensure that pronouns and references are clear and unambiguous. Provide explicit connections between ideas to enhance coherence.
- Logical progression: Maintain a consistent flow of ideas throughout the essay. Improve the transition between different sections to create a more cohesive structure.
- Paragraphing: While the essay generally uses paragraphs, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a central topic and is logically organized. Consider revising paragraph structure to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It effectively describes the expected changes in Islip town center’s infrastructure renovation, utilizing vocabulary such as "renovated," "access roads," "dual carriageways," "row of shops," "bus station," "pedestrian road," and "scaled down." However, there are instances of less common vocabulary ("holistically renovated," "reallocating") and attempts to use varied vocabulary ("rennovated," "upgradation"), though with some inaccuracy in word choice and spelling.
How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on using vocabulary accurately and consistently throughout the essay. Be mindful of spelling and word choice, aiming for precision and clarity. Expand the range of less common vocabulary items while ensuring they are used appropriately in context. Additionally, proofread the essay to eliminate spelling errors and ensure consistency in word formation.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including some attempts at complex structures. There is an effort to vary sentence structure, although it could be further improved for greater range. While there are errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly impede communication.
How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, focus on incorporating more complex sentence structures consistently throughout the essay. Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation to minimize errors. Additionally, aim for clearer and more precise expression to further improve communication.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided maps illustrate the anticipated transformation of Islip town center in terms of infrastructure redevelopment.
In general, comprehensive renovations are planned for the town center, encompassing the establishment of new access roads, the construction of additional facilities, and the reallocation of certain buildings.
A significant change is anticipated in the access roads, which currently run directly through the town, leading specifically to the school and the park. The proposal is to extend these roads to encircle the entire center, with an upgrade to dual carriageways replacing the current one-way roads. Notably, the upper section of the town, which is slated for the most substantial alterations, will witness the transformation of a long row of shops and the adjacent countryside area into multiple structures serving varied purposes, such as a bus station, shopping center, car park, and new housing, arranged from left to right.
The existing main road within the heart of the town center is set to be replaced by a pedestrian thoroughfare, effectively dividing the upper and lower sections of the town center. Conversely, minimal changes are planned for the lower portion of the town, situated to the south of the map. The row of shophouses adjacent to the pedestrian thoroughfare is slated to remain unchanged. Similarly, the school and residential buildings near the newly extended road will remain unaffected. To the south of the shops, a sizable area currently designated for housing and a park will undergo minimal alteration, primarily consisting of upgrades. New housing units will be constructed, and the park will be reduced in size to accommodate the new residential developments.
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