The maps below show the changes in a town after the construction of a hydroelectric power dam

The supplied images depict the modifications of a rural area from 1990 to 2010. From a comprehensive perspective, it is evident that the town underwent a trend of industrialization and became an electric industrial complex.

With regard to the map of the year 1990, it becomes conspicuous that a river stretching from south to north bisected the region into western and eastern halves. In the western section, the area was largely untouched, featuring a woodland, an ancient structure, and a zone designated for rare plants and animals, all situated to the left of a mountain located in the south of the map. On the eastern side, there was a village positioned behind farmland, flanked by two mountains.

In terms of the map of the year 2010, the principal change was the transformation of the western side into an electric complex, which comprised six utility poles to the west of the river and two utility poles on the opposite side. On the eastern side, the farmland had disappeared; however, the village remained unchanged. To the north of the area, a hydroelectric power dam was added, connecting to all the utility poles in the town. As a result, a lake was located in the central northern part of the map, with a hotel situated to the east.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in the town, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not adequately highlight all the key features of the maps. For example, the essay does not mention the disappearance of the irrigated farmlands and the appearance of the lake.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed description of the changes in the town. The essay should also highlight all the key features of the maps, including the disappearance of the irrigated farmlands and the appearance of the lake. The essay should also be more concise and avoid unnecessary repetition.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout the description of the maps. The writer presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, effectively distinguishing between the two time periods. However, while a range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, there are instances of slight awkwardness in transitions that may disrupt the flow. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 7 due to its coherent arrangement and logical progression, but it lacks the finesse and seamlessness required for higher bands.

How to improve: To enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer could focus on refining transitions between ideas and paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow. Additionally, varying the use of cohesive devices and ensuring that they are not repetitive or mechanical would strengthen the overall cohesiveness. Finally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly builds on the previous one with explicit connections could help achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the changes depicted in the maps. It appropriately uses less common lexical items such as "conspicuous," "industrialization," and "hydroelectric power dam," showing an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and some minor errors in spelling and word formation, which prevent it from achieving a higher score. Overall, the vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in precision and variety.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sophisticated vocabulary and phrases that convey precise meanings. This could involve using synonyms to avoid repetition and ensuring that less common words are used accurately in context. Additionally, careful proofreading to eliminate any spelling or word formation errors would help improve clarity and professionalism in the writing. Engaging with more advanced vocabulary through reading and practice could also contribute to a richer lexical range.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors present. The use of complex sentences is evident, and the overall coherence of the essay is maintained. However, there are some instances of awkward phrasing and minor grammatical inaccuracies that prevent it from reaching a higher band score.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer could focus on the following areas:

Variety of Sentence Structures: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures to further demonstrate flexibility.
Error Reduction: Proofread the essay to identify and correct minor errors, ensuring that all sentences are clear and precise.
Punctuation: Pay closer attention to punctuation, as minor errors in this area can detract from the overall clarity of the writing.
Clarity and Conciseness: Aim for clearer expression by avoiding awkward phrasing and ensuring that each sentence flows smoothly into the next.

Bài sửa mẫu

With regard to the map of 1990, it is conspicuous that a river stretching from south to north bisected the region into western and eastern halves. In the western section, the area was largely untouched, featuring a woodland, an ancient structure, and a zone designated for rare plants and animals, all situated to the left of a mountain located in the south of the map. On the eastern side, there was a village positioned behind farmland, flanked by two mountains.

In terms of the map of 2010, the principal change was the transformation of the western side into an electric complex, which comprised six utility poles to the west of the river and two utility poles on the opposite side. On the eastern side, the farmland had disappeared; however, the village remained unchanged. To the north of the area, a hydroelectric power dam was added, connecting to all the utility poles in the town. As a result, a lake was situated in the central northern part of the map, with a hotel located to the east.