The maps below shows university sports courts in 1990 and now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The maps below shows university sports courts in 1990 and now.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The two maps illustrate the changes made to the university sports court from 1990 to the presentday.
In 1990, the sports court featured a park with greenery in the northwest corner. Northeast of the parkwas an outdoor swimming pool, while the reception area was centrally located between the café andchanging rooms. To the southeast, there was a tennis court, which was likely popular amongstudents.
Significant changes have occurred since then. The park has been transformed into a basketball court,reflecting the growing interest in basketball. Additionally, the tennis court has moved to thesouthwest, replacing the former parking area. In the space previously occupied by the tennis court,new changing rooms and a fitness center have been built, providing students with modern facilities.
Overall, these changes indicate a shift in the university's approach to sports, focusing on offeringdiverse and contemporary options for students' recreation.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"the presentday" -> "the present day"
Explanation: The correct phrase is "the present day" to maintain grammatical accuracy and formality in academic writing. -
"featured a park with greenery" -> "included a park with greenery"
Explanation: "Included" is more precise and formal than "featured," which is somewhat vague and less commonly used in formal descriptions of spatial arrangements. -
"Northeast of the parkwas" -> "Northeast of the park was"
Explanation: Correcting the grammatical error from "was" to "was" to maintain subject-verb agreement. -
"the reception area was centrally located between the café andchanging rooms" -> "the reception area was centrally located between the café and the changing rooms"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "changing rooms" corrects the article usage, enhancing grammatical correctness and clarity. -
"which was likely popular amongstudents" -> "which was likely popular among students"
Explanation: Correcting "amongstudents" to "among students" fixes a typographical error and maintains the correct preposition usage. -
"Significant changes have occurred since then" -> "Substantial changes have been made since then"
Explanation: "Substantial" is more specific and academically appropriate than "significant," and "have been made" clarifies the agency behind the changes. -
"reflecting the growing interest in basketball" -> "reflecting the increasing interest in basketball"
Explanation: "Increasing" is more precise and formal than "growing," fitting better in an academic context. -
"likely popular amongstudents" -> "likely popular among students"
Explanation: Correcting "amongstudents" to "among students" fixes a typographical error and maintains grammatical correctness. -
"new changing rooms and a fitness center have been built" -> "new changing rooms and a fitness center were built"
Explanation: Changing "have been built" to "were built" corrects the tense to match the past context described in the map. -
"providing students with modern facilities" -> "providing students with modern facilities"
Explanation: Removing "with" corrects the redundancy, as "providing" inherently includes the concept of providing something to someone or something. -
"Overall, these changes indicate a shift in the university’s approach to sports, focusing on offering diverse and contemporary options for students’ recreation" -> "Overall, these changes signify a shift in the university’s approach to sports, focusing on offering diverse and contemporary recreational options"
Explanation: "Signify" is more formal than "indicate," and "recreational options" is more specific and appropriate in the context of sports facilities.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7
Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main changes to the university sports courts. It highlights the key features of both maps, including the addition of a basketball court, the relocation of the tennis court, and the construction of new changing rooms and a fitness center. The essay also makes relevant comparisons between the two maps, such as the transformation of the park into a basketball court and the replacement of the parking area with a tennis court.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes. For example, the essay could mention the size of the new basketball court or the number of tennis courts. The essay could also provide more analysis of the changes, such as discussing the reasons for the changes or the impact of the changes on students.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression from the description of the sports court in 1990 to the changes made in the present day. Each paragraph has a central topic, with the first focusing on the original layout and the second on the changes that have occurred. However, while cohesive devices are used appropriately, there are instances where their use could be improved to enhance flow and clarity. For example, transitions between some ideas could be more fluid, and referencing could be clearer in certain areas.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices more effectively to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly connects to the overall theme of the essay will strengthen coherence. More explicit referencing to previous points can also help clarify relationships between ideas.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in describing the changes to the sports court. It uses less common lexical items, such as "transformed," "reflecting," and "modern facilities," with an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and minor inaccuracies, such as "the café and changing rooms" which could have been more clearly delineated. Overall, while the vocabulary is adequate and relevant, it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and ensure precise word choices. Additionally, reducing minor inaccuracies and improving the variety of expressions used would enhance the overall lexical resource. Practicing with more complex sentence structures and integrating uncommon lexical items more seamlessly could also contribute to a higher score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, although there are a few minor errors, such as "presentday" (should be "present day") and "amongstudents" (should be "among students"). These errors do not significantly hinder communication, but they indicate room for improvement in accuracy.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on eliminating minor errors and enhancing the variety of sentence structures. Incorporating more complex sentences and ensuring that all grammatical forms are used accurately will improve the overall grammatical range and accuracy. Additionally, proofreading for typographical errors and ensuring proper spacing will contribute to a more polished essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
The two maps illustrate the changes made to the university sports court from 1990 to the present day. In 1990, the sports court featured a park with greenery in the northwest corner. Northeast of the park was an outdoor swimming pool, while the reception area was centrally located between the café and changing rooms. To the southeast, there was a tennis court, which was likely popular among students.
Significant changes have occurred since then. The park has been transformed into a basketball court, reflecting the growing interest in basketball. Additionally, the tennis court has been relocated to the southwest, replacing the former parking area. In the space previously occupied by the tennis court, new changing rooms and a fitness center have been constructed, providing students with modern facilities.
Overall, these changes indicate a shift in the university’s approach to sports, focusing on offering diverse and contemporary options for students’ recreation.
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