The maps show art gallery in Australia in 1950 and now.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given picture compares the layout of the art gallery as it was in the year 1950 and it is now.
Overall, this art gallery is likely to undergo some significant changes. The most striking changes are the addition of various buildings and the cutting down of the green space.
In 1950, there was an exterior part of the art gallery, which was a courtyard located at the top. Nowadays, it is demolished and replaced by a children art school at the top-left and the Australian art facility on the opposite site. The entrance which is situated at the bottom of the gallery remains unchanged.
Turning to the interior of the whole building, there was a more dramatic change than the exterior side. Firstly, the sculpture which was located in the middle of the gallery still existed with no change in the site. Next, the cafe then becomes smaller and the toilet is added next to it in the top-left of the building and under the children art school. Turning to the right side, the Australian art was destroyed to make way for Asian art, which was positioned at the bottom-right of the gallery. The temporary exhibition, bookshop, which was situated on the left and the early european art, middle european art, which was located on the right remain unchanged.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
- “The given picture” -> “The provided image”
Explanation: Replacing “given picture” with “provided image” is a more precise and formal way to refer to the visual representation being discussed.
- “it is now” -> “it stands today”
Explanation: “It stands today” adds a more descriptive and sophisticated touch to convey the current state of the art gallery.
- “likely to undergo some significant changes” -> “poised for substantial alterations”
Explanation: “Poised for substantial alterations” uses more advanced vocabulary and conveys a sense of readiness for changes.
- “The most striking changes” -> “The most conspicuous alterations”
Explanation: “Conspicuous alterations” is a more formal and advanced phrase to describe noticeable changes.
- “the addition of various buildings” -> “the incorporation of diverse structures”
Explanation: “Incorporation of diverse structures” is a more sophisticated way to describe the addition of various buildings.
- “cutting down of the green space” -> “reduction of green areas”
Explanation: “Reduction of green areas” is a more precise and formal phrase to describe the decrease in green space.
- “Nowadays” -> “Presently”
Explanation: “Presently” is a more formal and advanced synonym for “nowadays.”
- “it is demolished” -> “it has been demolished”
Explanation: Adding “has been” makes the sentence grammatically correct, indicating the past action of demolition.
- “children art school” -> “school of children’s art”
Explanation: “School of children’s art” provides a more standard word order and is clearer.
- “the Australian art facility” -> “the Australian art center”
Explanation: “Art center” is a more suitable term to describe a place dedicated to art, and it sounds more formal.
- “which is situated at the bottom of the gallery” -> “located at the gallery’s lower level”
Explanation: The revised phrase is more precise and follows a formal structure.
- “Turning to the interior of the whole building” -> “Examining the building’s interior”
Explanation: “Examining the building’s interior” is a more direct and formal way to transition to the discussion of the interior.
- “more dramatic change than the exterior side” -> “a more pronounced transformation than its exterior”
Explanation: “Pronounced transformation” is a more advanced phrase to convey a significant change.
- “the sculpture which was located in the middle of the gallery still existed” -> “the sculpture situated in the gallery’s center remained intact”
Explanation: “Situated in the gallery’s center remained intact” is more precise and formal.
- “cafe then becomes smaller” -> “the café subsequently decreased in size”
Explanation: “Subsequently decreased in size” provides a more structured and formal description.
- “toilet is added next to it” -> “a restroom was installed adjacent to it”
Explanation: “Restroom was installed” is a more formal way to describe the addition of a toilet facility.
- “Australian art was destroyed” -> “Australian art was replaced”
Explanation: “Replaced” is a more accurate and formal term to indicate the substitution of one art category with another.
- “to make way for Asian art” -> “to accommodate Asian art”
Explanation: “To accommodate” is a more precise and formal way to describe the purpose of the change.
- “located on the left and the early european art, middle european art” -> “positioned on the left, and both early European and middle European art”
Explanation: The revised phrase separates the two art categories more clearly and follows a standard structure.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
The essay provides a reasonable summary of the information presented in the maps, but there are some areas where it falls short of the higher band criteria.
The essay starts with a clear introduction, stating the purpose of the maps and giving an overall impression of the changes in the art gallery layout. This sets the context effectively.
In terms of addressing the requirements of the task, the essay generally provides a decent overview of the main changes in the art gallery from 1950 to the present. It mentions the addition of various buildings and the reduction of green space, which are key features. However, it could benefit from a more comprehensive coverage of the changes.
The essay makes a clear attempt to describe the changes in the exterior and interior of the gallery, which is essential for the task. It highlights the addition of a children’s art school, an Australian art facility, and the relocation of the Australian art section to make way for Asian art. These are key features that are appropriately addressed.
However, there are some details that could be more fully extended or clarified. For example, it mentions the relocation of the Australian art section but doesn’t provide details on what happened to the Australian art facility that was added. Additionally, it mentions changes in the café and the addition of a toilet but doesn’t provide specifics about their locations. More precise details could enhance the response.
Furthermore, the essay lacks a clear conclusion to summarize the main points made, which could improve the overall structure.
How to improve:
- Provide more specific details about the changes, such as the exact locations of the added buildings and the changes in the café and toilet.
- Consider adding a concluding paragraph to summarize the main changes and reiterate the overall impact on the art gallery’s layout.
- Ensure that the response is organized logically, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion for a more cohesive structure.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, earning it a Band 7 score. Here’s how it meets the criteria:
- Logical Organization: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, providing a clear progression throughout. It starts with an overall introduction, discusses changes in the exterior, and then moves to changes in the interior, maintaining a clear order of presentation.
- Cohesive Devices: The essay uses a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as transition words and phrases like “Overall,” “Turning to,” and “Next.” These help guide the reader through the essay and create a smooth flow of ideas.
- Paragraphing: The essay uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the gallery, making it easy to follow.
- Clear Central Topic: Within each paragraph, there is a clear central topic. For example, one paragraph discusses changes to the exterior, while another talks about changes in the interior. This helps maintain clarity.
However, there are some minor issues. The introduction could be slightly more informative, and there are a few instances of repetitive language, such as the repeated use of “the art gallery.” Additionally, there could be more varied and precise vocabulary used for descriptions.
How to improve:
To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay further, consider the following suggestions:
- Enhance the introduction by providing a brief overview of the main changes in the gallery layout, giving the reader a clear roadmap of what to expect.
- Avoid unnecessary repetition. Instead of repeatedly referring to “the art gallery,” use synonyms or descriptive phrases to add variety to your language.
- Incorporate more specific vocabulary to provide vivid descriptions of the changes. This can make the essay more engaging and informative.
Overall, this essay is well-structured and effectively conveys the changes in the art gallery layout. With some minor refinements in language and introduction, it could achieve an even higher score in coherence and cohesion.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
The essay demonstrates a good command of vocabulary and falls within the Band 7 descriptor. It uses a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for some flexibility and precision in conveying ideas. The writer employs less common lexical items with awareness of style and collocation, enhancing the overall quality of the essay. There are only occasional errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation, and they do not significantly impede communication.
The writer effectively describes the changes in the art gallery layout between 1950 and the present. They use varied vocabulary to discuss the alterations in the exterior and interior of the gallery, such as “demolished,” “replaced,” “destroyed,” and “added.” Additionally, the writer effectively uses terms like “children art school,” “Australian art facility,” “temporary exhibition,” and “early European art” to provide specific details.
Although there are a few minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as “at the top-left” (should be “on the top-left”) and “middle European art” (should be “Middle European art”), these do not significantly impact the reader’s comprehension.
Overall, the essay effectively conveys the changes in the art gallery’s layout, demonstrating a solid vocabulary range and some skill in using less common lexical items.
How to improve:
To improve and potentially reach a Band 8 score, the writer should aim for even greater precision in vocabulary usage and reduce occasional errors. Paying closer attention to prepositions and word forms can help achieve more accurate collocations and word choices. Additionally, maintaining this level of vocabulary throughout the essay and consistently using a wide range of vocabulary items will enhance the lexical resource score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
This essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, indicating a moderate range of grammatical structures. While there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they do not significantly hinder communication. The essay effectively describes the changes in the art gallery layout between 1950 and the present day. It uses a variety of sentence structures to convey this information, including complex sentences, such as “The most striking changes are the addition of various buildings and the cutting down of the green space.” However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and inaccuracies, such as “Turning to the interior of the whole building, there was a more dramatic change than the exterior side,” which could be improved for clarity.
How to improve:
- Enhance sentence structure and clarity. Instead of “Turning to the interior of the whole building,” consider a more straightforward transition like “Now, let’s explore the interior of the entire building.”
- Pay attention to subject-verb agreement. For instance, change “it is now” to “it is today” or “it is now in the present day” for more clarity.
- Proofread for minor errors, such as missing articles (e.g., “the toilet is added next to it in the top-left of the building”) and awkward phrasing.
Overall, this essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical range and accuracy but could benefit from minor improvements to sentence structure and language precision.
Bài sửa mẫu
Certainly, let’s work on improving this IELTS Task 1 report while maintaining the original data points and following the standard format of Introduction, Overview, and Detailed paragraphs.
The provided diagrams depict the layout of an art gallery in Australia in two distinct time periods, namely 1950 and the present day.
Overall, the art gallery has undergone significant transformations. Notable changes include the addition of new structures and a reduction in green spaces. In 1950, there was a courtyard on the exterior of the gallery, which has now been replaced by a children’s art school on the top-left side and an Australian art facility on the opposite side. The main entrance at the bottom of the gallery has remained unchanged.
In terms of the interior layout, several noteworthy alterations have occurred. Firstly, the central sculpture has remained in its original position. However, the cafe has been downsized, and a restroom has been added, located on the top-left side of the building, beneath the children’s art school. On the right side, the Australian art section has been replaced by an Asian art section, situated at the bottom-right of the gallery. Notably, the locations of the temporary exhibition and the bookshop, on the left, and the early European art and middle European art, on the right, have remained consistent over time.
In 1950, an open courtyard graced the exterior of the art gallery. This courtyard has since been replaced by a children’s art school, found on the top-left side, and an Australian art facility on the opposite side. However, the primary entrance located at the bottom of the gallery has remained unaltered.
Turning our attention to the interior of the gallery, notable modifications have occurred. Firstly, the central sculpture, positioned in the middle of the gallery, has remained in its original location. However, the cafe area has undergone a reduction in size, and a restroom has been incorporated into the layout. The restroom is now situated on the top-left side of the building, directly beneath the children’s art school.
On the right side of the gallery, the Australian art section has been replaced with an Asian art section, now positioned at the bottom-right of the gallery. It is worth mentioning that the locations of the temporary exhibition and the bookshop on the left, as well as the early European art and middle European art on the right, have remained consistent and unchanged.
By adhering to these improvements, the report now offers a clearer and more concise presentation of the data while maintaining the original information and adhering to the standard IELTS Task 1 format.