The maps show the changes made to a small museum and its surroundings in 1990 and 2010.

The maps compare the innovative development of a small scale museum and its surroundings in two years 1990 and 210. Overall, the placement of the museum remained while some interior structures have been adjusted.
Taking the first observation of the map in 1990, the first buliding which visitors saw from main road was cottoge on the right and a garden in the left-handed corner. Throughout a decade, cottoge was demolished to make a way for cafe, identically, the replacement of the old garden was carried out for more spacious parking lots compared to the past car park. Besides that, remarkably, the colossal garden next to the museum stayed steadily years by years
Moving to the next sector, the museum, in the former period, museum took up three distinctive exhibition room, two small being adjacent, bigger one was on the customers’ vision entering entrance gate. In 2010, two small exhibition rooms were merged into one while the other room got size down from L shape to I shape which lead to the shop stall expansion. Ressembling to the garden, the restaurant in the upper-right corner of the museum remained unchanged.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"two years 1990 and 210" -> "two years, 1990 and 2010"
Explanation: The correct date should be "2010" instead of "210" to reflect the correct year. Additionally, a comma is needed after "years" to separate the list items correctly.
"small scale museum" -> "small-scale museum"
Explanation: "Small-scale" should be hyphenated to function as an adjective modifying "museum," enhancing readability and adhering to standard English usage.
"cottoge" -> "cottage"
Explanation: This is a spelling error, correcting it to "cottage" for accuracy and professionalism.
"left-handed corner" -> "left-hand corner"
Explanation: "Left-handed" incorrectly implies a person’s handedness; "left-hand" is the correct term for a location or direction.
"identically" -> "simultaneously"
Explanation: "Identically" means being the same in all respects, which is not the intended meaning here. "Simultaneously" correctly conveys the idea of events happening at the same time.
"carried out for more spacious parking lots" -> "replaced with more spacious parking lots"
Explanation: "Carried out for" is awkward and unclear. "Replaced with" is more direct and appropriate for describing the action of exchanging one thing for another.
"remarkably, the colossal garden" -> "notably, the large garden"
Explanation: "Colossal" is an exaggeration and not suitable here. "Large" is more accurate and less dramatic, fitting the context better. "Notably" is also more formal than "remarkably" in this context.
"stayed steadily years by years" -> "remained consistent over the years"
Explanation: "Stayed steadily years by years" is grammatically incorrect and awkward. "Remained consistent over the years" is grammatically correct and more formal.
"museum took up three distinctive exhibition room" -> "museum occupied three distinct exhibition rooms"
Explanation: "Took up" is informal and vague; "occupied" is more precise and formal. Also, "distinctive" should be "distinct" to correctly describe the type of rooms.
"two small being adjacent, bigger one was on the customers’ vision entering entrance gate" -> "two smaller adjacent rooms and one larger room visible upon entering the entrance gate"
Explanation: The original sentence is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The revision clarifies the structure and corrects the grammar, making it more readable and formal.
"got size down from L shape to I shape which lead to the shop stall expansion" -> "was reduced from an L-shape to an I-shape, leading to the expansion of the shop stall"
Explanation: "Got size down" is informal and unclear. "Was reduced" is more precise and formal. Also, "which lead" should be "leading to" for grammatical correctness and clarity.
"Ressembling to the garden" -> "Resembling the garden"
Explanation: "Ressembling" is a typographical error; it should be "Resembling." Additionally, "to" is unnecessary before "the garden."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes made to the museum and its surroundings, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay presents some key features and bullet points, but it does not adequately highlight them. For example, the essay mentions that the cottage was demolished to make way for a cafe, but it does not provide any details about the size or location of the cafe. The essay also mentions that the garden was replaced with a parking lot, but it does not provide any details about the size or shape of the parking lot.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more details about the changes made to the museum and its surroundings. The essay could also be improved by highlighting the key features and bullet points more clearly. For example, the essay could state that the cafe is located where the cottage used to be, and that the parking lot is larger than the old car park. The essay could also provide more specific details about the changes made to the museum’s interior, such as the size and shape of the exhibition rooms.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the changes made to the museum and its surroundings, the ideas are not always clearly linked, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which detracts from the overall clarity. Additionally, paragraphing is attempted but not effectively executed, as the transitions between ideas are abrupt and lack logical flow.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas by using more varied and appropriate cohesive devices. Clearer referencing and substitution can help avoid repetition and clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, organizing the essay into distinct paragraphs that each focus on a single aspect of the changes (e.g., one for the museum, one for the surroundings) would improve clarity and progression. Finally, proofreading for grammatical errors and ensuring accurate terminology will strengthen the overall presentation of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While there are attempts to use some less common vocabulary, such as "innovative development" and "colossal garden," the overall lexical resource is constrained and includes noticeable errors in word choice and spelling, such as "cottoge" (cottage) and "lead" (led). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader, affecting clarity and precision. Additionally, there is a lack of variety in vocabulary, with some repetition and basic expressions used throughout the essay.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range by incorporating more synonyms and varied expressions. Practicing the use of less common lexical items accurately, along with ensuring correct spelling and word formation, will also improve clarity. Reading more academic texts and essays can help familiarize the writer with sophisticated vocabulary and collocations, allowing for more precise and flexible language use in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily using simple sentences with some attempts at complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as misspellings ("cottoge" instead of "cottage"), incorrect prepositions, and issues with subject-verb agreement. These errors occasionally hinder communication and clarity. The overall control of grammar and punctuation is inconsistent, which aligns with the characteristics of a Band 5 score.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their range of sentence structures by incorporating more complex forms and ensuring accuracy in grammar and punctuation. Proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors before submission can also enhance clarity. Additionally, practicing the use of cohesive devices and linking words can improve the overall flow of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The maps compare the innovative development of a small-scale museum and its surroundings in two years, 1990 and 2010. Overall, the placement of the museum remained the same, while some interior structures were adjusted.

Taking the first observation of the map in 1990, the first building that visitors saw from the main road was a cottage on the right and a garden in the left-hand corner. Throughout the decade, the cottage was demolished to make way for a café; similarly, the old garden was replaced with more spacious parking lots compared to the previous car park. Besides that, remarkably, the large garden next to the museum remained unchanged over the years.

Moving to the next sector, in the earlier period, the museum featured three distinctive exhibition rooms, with two smaller rooms being adjacent and the larger one visible to customers upon entering the entrance gate. In 2010, the two small exhibition rooms were merged into one, while the other room was reduced in size from an L shape to an I shape, which led to the expansion of the shop stall. Similar to the garden, the restaurant in the upper-right corner of the museum remained unchanged.