The plan below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The given maps compare the changes made in the ground plans of a school between the year 1985 and now. The most apparent changes occurred with reconstructing roads and relocating some learning blocks. Amenities and advanced learning facilities within the campus are also added.

The first major change that comes to attention is the road extending from the entrance, surrounding the car park, to the exit. In the first instance, the path follows a perpendicular pattern, leading straight to the playing fields. After reconstruction, it is altered to a curvature to only route the entrance and flow straight to the exit. Additionally, the direct path entering the playing area is now covered in greeneries.

Since the area of the playing fields is shrunk to create space for other constructions, another classroom block is put up. The initial classroom blocks also bear major changes. Horizontally, the one on the left increased by almost double in capacity, it is also relocated further down. Whereas the block on the right received a reconstruction to increase its height by building another story on top.

Amenities such as a pool and a fitness center are to occupy the freed-up space of the playing field. Whilst the school in 1985 already included a library within the campus, another significant change to the building was also made to supplement the functions of a computer room and a learning resources center.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"made in the ground plans" -> "made to the site layout"
Explanation: Using "site layout" instead of "ground plans" is a more precise and formal way to refer to the layout of the school.
"reconstructing roads" -> "reconfiguring roadways"
Explanation: "Reconfiguring roadways" is a more sophisticated way to describe the changes made to the roads within the school premises.
"learning blocks" -> "educational facilities"
Explanation: "Educational facilities" is a broader and more professional term to refer to the buildings where learning takes place, compared to "learning blocks."
"Amenities" -> "Facilities"
Explanation: "Facilities" is a more formal and comprehensive term to describe the features and services available within the school campus, compared to "Amenities."
"bearing major changes" -> "undergoing significant alterations"
Explanation: "Undergoing significant alterations" is a more precise and formal way to describe the changes that the classroom blocks have experienced.
"shrunk" -> "reduced"
Explanation: "Reduced" is a more formal and precise term to describe the decrease in size of the playing fields.
"put up" -> "constructed"
Explanation: "Constructed" is a more formal and professional term to describe the building of a new classroom block.
"supplement the functions" -> "enhance the capabilities"
Explanation: "Enhance the capabilities" is a more sophisticated and precise way to describe the improvements made to the building to accommodate new functions like a computer room and a learning resources center.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the school in 1985 and now. It provides clear overview of the changes in the ground plans, including the reconstruction of roads, relocation of learning blocks, and addition of amenities. The key features are highlighted and compared appropriately.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more specific details and examples to further support the main features mentioned. Additionally, ensuring that the comparisons made are more detailed and specific would enhance the overall response.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges the information coherently by first discussing the changes in the road layout, then moving on to the classroom blocks, and finally mentioning the addition of amenities. There is a clear overall progression in the essay. Cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, there are some instances where the referencing could be clearer to enhance cohesion. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically, as some ideas could be grouped together more effectively.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use cohesive devices consistently and appropriately to connect ideas and improve the overall coherence of the essay. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure that ideas are grouped logically and transitions between paragraphs are smooth.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. The writer describes the changes in the school layout with some detail, showcasing a variety of vocabulary related to construction and facilities. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "reconstructing roads" instead of "reconstructing pathways" and "amenities and advanced learning facilities" which could be more specific. Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, like "relocated further down" could be improved to "relocated to a lower position."

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary. Be mindful of word choice and collocation to convey ideas more effectively. Additionally, pay attention to word formation to enhance clarity and coherence in the essay. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to elevate the sophistication of the language used.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of a variety of complex structures, such as compound and complex sentences, to convey the changes in the school’s ground plans. The majority of sentences are error-free, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few minor errors present throughout the essay, which do not significantly impact communication.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on ensuring consistency in using complex structures and pay attention to minor errors such as subject-verb agreement and punctuation. Proofreading the essay carefully can help in eliminating these occasional errors and enhance the overall clarity of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate the alterations in the ground layouts of a school from 1985 to the present day. The most notable changes involve the reconfiguration of roads and the relocation of certain educational blocks, as well as the addition of new amenities and advanced learning facilities on the premises.

One prominent change is the modification of the road layout, particularly the path leading from the entrance, around the car park, to the exit. Initially, the path followed a perpendicular route, directing towards the playing fields. However, after the reconstruction, it now curves, guiding traffic from the entrance directly to the exit. Moreover, the direct pathway to the playing area is now adorned with greenery.

Due to the reduction in the size of the playing fields to accommodate new constructions, an additional classroom block has been erected. The existing classroom blocks have also undergone significant transformations. The block on the left has nearly doubled in size horizontally and has been relocated further down. On the other hand, the block on the right has been expanded vertically by adding another storey.

The newly available space from the playing field’s reduction will be utilized for amenities such as a pool and a fitness center. While the school in 1985 already housed a library, the building has been further modified to include a computer room and a learning resources center, enhancing the educational resources available on campus.