The plans below show a bookstore in 2000 and the bookstore now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pictures illustrate how a bookstore has changed since 2000. Overall, this store underwent a number of dramatic changes, the most important of which is the development of a public self-study space and a cafe counter.
In the northwest of this room, the right angle saw several differences with a fiction shelf being turned into a non-fiction one. 3 cases with different topics: Cookery, Hobbies, and Art were replaced by public tables in the middle. There used to be a shelf of realistic books in the east, but it was redeveloped into a cafe shop to serve customers.
From the southeast of the entrance, the service desk remained unchanged, like the new books table opposite the door. The travel case was reconstructed as bigger. The long shelf of unrealistic books at the left of the room was modernized as smaller to create more space for Cookery, Hobbies, and Art cases.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"a number of dramatic changes" -> "several significant changes"
Explanation: "A number of" is vague and informal; "several" is more precise, and "significant" conveys a stronger academic tone than "dramatic."
"the right angle saw several differences" -> "the right corner exhibited several differences"
Explanation: "Right angle" is geometrically specific and not contextually appropriate; "right corner" is clearer. "Exhibited" is more formal than "saw."
"with a fiction shelf being turned into a non-fiction one" -> "with a fiction shelf converted into a non-fiction shelf"
Explanation: "Being turned into" is informal; "converted into" is more precise and maintains an academic tone.
"3 cases with different topics" -> "three display cases featuring distinct topics"
Explanation: The numeral "3" should be written out in academic writing, and "display cases" is more specific than "cases." "Featuring distinct topics" is clearer than "with different topics."
"were replaced by public tables in the middle" -> "were replaced by communal tables in the center"
Explanation: "Public tables" is vague; "communal tables" conveys a clearer sense of shared space. "In the middle" can be more precisely stated as "in the center."
"a shelf of realistic books" -> "a shelf of non-fiction books"
Explanation: "Realistic books" is ambiguous; "non-fiction books" is a more accurate and academically appropriate term.
"but it was redeveloped into a cafe shop to serve customers" -> "but it was transformed into a café to serve patrons"
Explanation: "Redeveloped" is more commonly used in urban planning contexts; "transformed" is more suitable here. "Café" is the correct spelling, and "patrons" is a more formal term than "customers."
"the service desk remained unchanged, like the new books table opposite the door" -> "the service desk remained unchanged, similar to the new books table located opposite the entrance"
Explanation: "Like" is informal; "similar to" is more appropriate in academic writing. "Located opposite the entrance" provides clearer spatial context than "opposite the door."
"The travel case was reconstructed as bigger" -> "The travel case was enlarged"
Explanation: "Reconstructed as bigger" is awkward; "enlarged" is more concise and formal.
"The long shelf of unrealistic books at the left of the room was modernized as smaller" -> "The long shelf of fiction books on the left side of the room was reduced in size"
Explanation: "Unrealistic books" is vague; "fiction books" is more precise. "On the left side" is clearer than "at the left of the room," and "reduced in size" is more formal than "modernized as smaller."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes to the bookstore, but the information is not always presented in a clear and logical way. The essay does not fully address all the key features of the plans, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the travel case was reconstructed as bigger, but the plans show that it is actually smaller.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the changes to the bookstore. The essay should also focus on the key features of the plans and avoid irrelevant details. The essay should also be more accurate in its description of the changes. For example, the essay should state that the travel case is smaller, not bigger.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the changes in the bookstore, the sequencing of ideas is sometimes unclear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is present but often inadequate or repetitive, which detracts from the clarity of the comparisons being made. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some ideas not being grouped logically, which further impacts coherence.

How to improve: To enhance the score, the writer should focus on improving the logical flow of ideas and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices accurately and avoiding repetition would also help. Structuring the essay with clear transitions between points and ensuring that each change is compared effectively would contribute to a more coherent and cohesive response.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in the bookstore, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, particularly in phrases like "the most important of which is" and "the service desk remained unchanged." There are noticeable errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the right angle saw several differences," which can confuse the reader. Additionally, some terms like "unrealistic books" lack clarity and appropriateness for the context. Spelling and word formation errors are present, which may cause some difficulty for the reader, such as "Cookery, Hobbies, and Art cases" being referred to inconsistently.

How to improve:
To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, particularly less common lexical items relevant to the topic. Using synonyms and varying sentence structures can help avoid repetition. Additionally, focusing on precise word choice and ensuring that terms are contextually appropriate will improve clarity. Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will also contribute to a more polished essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at complex structures, the overall grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as "the right angle saw several differences" and "the long shelf of unrealistic books at the left of the room was modernized as smaller," which can confuse the reader. However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, allowing the main ideas to be conveyed.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Complex Structures: Increase the use of complex sentences while ensuring they are grammatically correct.
Error Reduction: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice to minimize grammatical errors.
Punctuation: Review punctuation rules to avoid faulty punctuation that can obscure meaning.
Clarity and Precision: Aim for clearer expressions of ideas, ensuring that descriptions accurately reflect the intended meaning without ambiguity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The pictures illustrate how a bookstore has changed since 2000. Overall, this store has undergone several dramatic changes, the most significant of which is the introduction of a public self-study space and a café counter.

In the northwest corner of the room, several differences are evident, with a fiction shelf being converted into a non-fiction one. Three cases covering different topics—Cookery, Hobbies, and Art—have replaced the previous public tables in the middle. Additionally, a shelf of realistic books in the east has been transformed into a café to serve customers.

From the southeast of the entrance, the service desk has remained unchanged, as has the new books table opposite the door. The travel case has been reconstructed to be larger. Furthermore, the long shelf of unrealistic books on the left side of the room has been modernized and reduced in size to create more space for the Cookery, Hobbies, and Art cases.