The plans below show a harbor in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The plans below show a harbor in 2000 and how it looks today.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The plan illustrates the transformations that took place in the harbor in 2000 and its current state.
Overall, it is evident that while the core part remains largely the same, significant modifications have been made to the surrounding area to enhance the passenger experience.
In 1990, the passengers had two paths separating from the main road. Upon entering the port, passengers encountered the car park directly ahead, with showers and toilets located above. Marina (private yachts) was situated adjacent to them on the left while the right-hand side leaded to the sea. There were large fishing boats situated under the Marina private yachts which were next to the car park. The lifeboat stood opposite the dock and the passenger ferries located at the end of the road. Towards the east was the disused castle, while the public beach was positioned to the left of this section, the remaining section was located in the north of the map.
By now, the layout of the harbor remains relatively unchanged. However, the location of Marina (private yachts) as well as the fishing boats have been swapped for the passengers convenience. Another striking development is the addition of the dock serving the need of the passengers. On the opposite side, the Cafés & shops have been introduced next to the lifeboat. The hotel now occupies the space where the disused caslte once stood and the public beach has been converted exclusively into the hotel's private beach, while the road leading to these places (lifeboats and hotel) is separated from the main road.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The plan illustrates the transformations that took place in the harbor in 2000 and its current state." -> "The plan depicts the transformations that occurred in the harbor in 2000 and its current condition."
Explanation: Replacing "illustrates" with "depicts" and "state" with "condition" refines the language to better suit an academic context, enhancing precision and formality.
"significant modifications have been made to the surrounding area" -> "substantial alterations have been implemented in the surrounding environment"
Explanation: Replacing "significant modifications" with "substantial alterations" and "surrounding area" with "surrounding environment" uses more precise and formal vocabulary, enhancing the academic tone.
"the passengers had two paths separating from the main road" -> "two paths diverged from the main road for passengers"
Explanation: Changing "the passengers had two paths separating from" to "two paths diverged from the main road for passengers" corrects the awkward phrasing and clarifies the meaning, improving readability and formality.
"lead" -> "led"
Explanation: Correcting "leaded" to "led" addresses a grammatical error, ensuring the sentence is grammatically correct and suitable for an academic context.
"the lifeboat stood opposite the dock" -> "the lifeboat was situated opposite the dock"
Explanation: Replacing "stood" with "was situated" provides a more formal and precise description of the lifeboat’s position.
"the passenger ferries located at the end of the road" -> "the passenger ferries situated at the terminus of the road"
Explanation: Replacing "located" with "situated" and "end of the road" with "terminus of the road" elevates the formality and specificity of the description.
"the disused castle" -> "the abandoned castle"
Explanation: Replacing "disused" with "abandoned" provides a more precise term for describing the status of the castle.
"the remaining section was located in the north of the map" -> "the remaining area was situated in the northern part of the map"
Explanation: Changing "section" to "area" and "north of the map" to "northern part of the map" enhances clarity and formality.
"the location of Marina (private yachts) as well as the fishing boats have been swapped" -> "the locations of the Marina (private yachts) and the fishing boats have been interchanged"
Explanation: Replacing "swapped" with "interchanged" and "have been" with "have been" corrects the verb tense consistency and uses more precise language.
"the dock serving the need of the passengers" -> "the dock catering to the needs of passengers"
Explanation: Replacing "serving the need of" with "catering to the needs of" corrects the grammatical error and enhances the formality of the sentence.
"the Cafés & shops have been introduced" -> "cafes and shops have been introduced"
Explanation: Removing the ampersand and capitalizing "cafes" aligns with standard English usage and improves readability.
"the disused caslte" -> "the disused castle"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "caslte" to "castle" addresses a typographical error, ensuring accuracy and professionalism in the text.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes to the harbor, but it does not fully satisfy all the requirements of the task. The essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay also does not adequately highlight all the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay does not mention the addition of the cafes and shops, or the conversion of the public beach into a private beach.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends, differences, or stages. The essay could also be improved by highlighting all the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could mention the addition of the cafes and shops, or the conversion of the public beach into a private beach. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific details about the changes that have been made to the harbor. For example, the essay could mention the size of the new dock, or the number of cafes and shops that have been added.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the description of the harbor in 2000 to its current state. However, while it uses cohesive devices effectively, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to some mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but lacks a logical structure, as it does not clearly separate the descriptions of the past and present states of the harbor, which could confuse the reader.

How to improve:

Enhance Cohesion: Use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas more naturally. For example, instead of relying on basic conjunctions, consider using phrases that indicate contrast or addition more fluidly.
Improve Paragraphing: Clearly separate the description of the harbor in 2000 and its current state into distinct paragraphs. This will help the reader follow the progression of ideas more easily.
Clarify References: Ensure that references (e.g., "these places") are clear and specific to avoid ambiguity. Using specific nouns instead of pronouns can help maintain clarity.
Avoid Repetition: Reduce repetitive phrases and ensure that each sentence adds new information or perspective to maintain the reader’s interest.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, allowing for some flexibility in expression. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "transformations," "enhance," and "convenience," but inaccuracies are present, particularly in word choice and collocation (e.g., "the right-hand side leaded to the sea" should be "led"). Additionally, there are some spelling errors, such as "caslte," which detract from the overall quality. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they indicate a need for improvement in lexical control.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and ensuring accurate word choice and collocation. Practicing the use of synonyms and less common lexical items in context can help. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors before submission would improve clarity and professionalism in the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 level. While there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, they do not significantly impede communication. The writer shows an understanding of the task and attempts to convey the changes in the harbor effectively. However, there are noticeable issues with sentence structure and punctuation that detract from the overall clarity and fluency of the writing.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Increase Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex structures and ensure that they are used accurately. This could involve using more subordinate clauses and varying sentence beginnings.
Error Reduction: Proofread the essay to identify and correct grammatical errors and awkward phrases. This includes ensuring subject-verb agreement and proper use of prepositions.
Punctuation Accuracy: Pay attention to punctuation rules, especially with commas and periods, to enhance clarity and readability.
Clarity and Cohesion: Improve the logical flow of ideas by using linking words and phrases more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs.

Bài sửa mẫu

In 2000, passengers had two paths diverging from the main road. Upon entering the port, passengers encountered the car park directly ahead, with showers and toilets located above. The marina (private yachts) was situated adjacent to them on the left, while the right-hand side led to the sea. Large fishing boats were positioned beneath the marina, next to the car park. The lifeboat stood opposite the dock, with passenger ferries located at the end of the road. Towards the east was the disused castle, while the public beach was positioned to the left of this section; the remaining area was located in the north of the map.

Currently, the layout of the harbor remains relatively unchanged. However, the locations of the marina (private yachts) and the fishing boats have been swapped for the convenience of passengers. Another striking development is the addition of a dock to serve the needs of passengers. On the opposite side, cafés and shops have been introduced next to the lifeboat. The hotel now occupies the space where the disused castle once stood, and the public beach has been converted exclusively into the hotel’s private beach, while the road leading to these facilities (lifeboat and hotel) is separated from the main road.