The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was developed in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given maps illustrate the changes that took place in a library’s ground floor between 2001 and 2009.
Overall, the place underwent a number of significant changes, the most important of which is the expansion of bookshelves catering for the increasing number of book genres.
The left corner of the floor saw a number of changes, with two shelves for self-help and history books being converted into six separated shelves for new genres, including laws and economics. In addition, the shelf for fiction books in the upper corner was expanded to make place for a larger range of children books, while fictional works are removed to the left corner.
No changes were made to the librarian’s table and the staircase near the entrance. Meanwhile, the reading desks in the center of the floor were merged to provide the readers with more seats, which was accompanied by the addition of an open space for toddlers. Additionally, in the right corner of the ground floor, new computers were added while the area for newspaper and periodicals was replaced by movies and DVDs.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"the most important of which is" -> "the foremost of which is"
Explanation: Replacing "the most important of which is" with "the foremost of which is" adds a touch of formality and sophistication to the sentence.
"catering for the increasing number of book genres" -> "catering to the burgeoning array of book genres"
Explanation: "Catering to" is more precise in this context than "catering for," and "burgeoning" emphasizes the growing diversity of book genres more effectively than "increasing."
"saw a number of changes" -> "underwent several alterations"
Explanation: "Underwent several alterations" is more specific and formal than "saw a number of changes," enhancing the clarity and precision of the description.
"expanded to make place for" -> "expanded to accommodate"
Explanation: "Accommodate" is a more precise and formal term than "make place for" in this context.
"while fictional works are removed" -> "while fictional works were relocated"
Explanation: "Relocated" is a more accurate term than "removed" in this context, as it specifies that the fictional works were moved to a different location rather than simply taken away.
"No changes were made to" -> "No alterations were implemented to"
Explanation: "Alterations were implemented to" provides a more formal and detailed description than "No changes were made to."
"merged to provide the readers with more seats" -> "merged to increase seating capacity"
Explanation: "Increase seating capacity" is a more precise and formal phrase than "provide the readers with more seats."
"accompanied by the addition of an open space for toddlers" -> "accompanied by the inclusion of an open space for toddlers"
Explanation: "Inclusion" is a more formal and precise term than "addition" in this context, emphasizing the deliberate incorporation of an open space for toddlers.
"new computers were added" -> "new computers were installed"
Explanation: "Installed" is a more specific and formal term than "added" when referring to the introduction of new computers.
"area for newspaper and periodicals was replaced" -> "area for newspapers and periodicals was substituted"
Explanation: "Substituted" is a more formal and precise term than "replaced" in this context, indicating a specific replacement of one thing with another.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the ground floor of the library in 2001 and 2009. It presents a clear overview of the changes that occurred during this period, including the expansion of bookshelves, rearrangement of genres, addition of reading space for toddlers, and replacement of newspaper and periodical area with movies and DVDs. Key features such as changes in book categories and infrastructure are highlighted.
How to improve: To enhance the response and potentially achieve a higher band score, the essay could provide more specific details about the changes, such as the exact number of shelves added or removed and the square footage of the newly added spaces. Additionally, ensuring a smoother transition between sentences and paragraphs can improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay. More precise language and vocabulary related to library infrastructure and design could also strengthen the essay.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses cohesive devices, such as transitions like "Overall", "Meanwhile", and "Additionally", to connect ideas and maintain coherence. The central topic within each paragraph is clear, as each paragraph focuses on different aspects of the changes in the library floor layout. The essay also uses a variety of cohesive devices appropriately, contributing to the overall coherence and cohesion.

How to improve:
To further improve coherence and cohesion, the essay could benefit from more explicit transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring consistent and appropriate use of cohesive devices throughout the essay would enhance clarity and coherence. Furthermore, providing more explicit comparisons between the 2001 and 2009 layouts would strengthen the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. There is effective use of vocabulary to describe the changes in the library’s ground floor, including terms like "expansion of bookshelves," "converted," "merged," and "replaced." Additionally, less common lexical items such as "self-help," "periodicals," and "genres" are appropriately utilized. The essay shows awareness of style and collocation, as seen in phrases like "the left corner of the floor" and "the upper corner." While there are occasional errors in word choice (e.g., "fictional works are removed"), they do not significantly detract from the overall clarity of the essay.

How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, strive for more variety in vocabulary and consider incorporating more sophisticated terminology where appropriate. Additionally, ensure consistency in word usage throughout the essay to minimize any potential confusion. Finally, proofreading for minor errors in word choice and spelling can help refine the essay to a higher level of lexical accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.5

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, showcasing a reasonable variety. It effectively communicates the changes that occurred in the library’s ground floor between 2001 and 2009. There are some instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but they do not significantly impede understanding. The essay effectively compares the changes and reports the main features of the ground floor, providing a clear overview of the alterations.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures and varying sentence beginnings. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay. Additionally, review punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in compound sentences and the placement of commas in lists. Finally, proofreading for clarity and coherence can help eliminate any remaining errors and improve overall readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps depict alterations observed in the layout of a library’s ground floor over the span of eight years, from 2001 to 2009. In general, the area underwent notable transformations, primarily focusing on the expansion and reorganization of book categories to accommodate the growing diversity of literary genres.

In detail, significant changes occurred in the left corner of the floor, where two shelves originally designated for self-help and history books were subdivided into six separate sections to accommodate emerging genres such as laws and economics. Furthermore, the shelf allocated for fiction books in the upper corner underwent enlargement to accommodate a broader selection of children’s literature, while fictional works were relocated to the left corner.

Remarkably, no adjustments were made to the librarian’s desk or the staircase adjacent to the entrance. However, modifications were evident in the central section, where individual reading desks were amalgamated to furnish readers with increased seating capacity, complemented by the addition of an open space dedicated to toddlers. Additionally, in the right corner of the ground floor, new computer stations were introduced, and the area previously designated for newspapers and periodicals was repurposed to house movies and DVDs.