The plans show the change of a small theater in 2010 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The provided map illustrates the difference in a certain theater in 2010 and 2012.

Overall, much change were made during two years in most of all rooms in the theater, including renovations, new contructions and reallocation.

When first entering the main entrance, it can be seen that the theater's lobby was expanded. In 2010, to the left-hand side of the main entrance, there was a cafe located, was flatten and replaced by the ticket office in 2012. The old space reserved for Ticket office was cleared to make room for the new restaurants, nearby the admin office, whih was pushed further to the north-west corner of the lobby.

Turning into the main room of the theater where perforances take place. While the auditorium area remained comparatively unchanged, the stage was expanded considerably. In order to make rooms for bigger stage, the media room, which was originally behind the stage, was moved to the left-hand side of the stage, replacing storage room, accompanied with an extra space for showers. To the right-hand side of the stage, the storage room was relocated to a totally new room, connected to the media room by a narrow hall behind the stage.

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Errors and Improvements:

"much change were made" -> "significant changes were made"
Explanation: "Much change were made" lacks precision and clarity. "Significant changes were made" is more formal and accurately conveys the idea of substantial alterations.
"new contructions" -> "new constructions"
Explanation: "Contructions" is misspelled. "Constructions" is the correct term for newly built structures.
"it can be seen that" -> "it is evident that"
Explanation: "It can be seen that" is somewhat informal. "It is evident that" maintains formality and clarity.
"was flatten" -> "was flattened"
Explanation: "Flatten" is incorrect; "flattened" is the past tense form of the verb "flatten."
"whih was pushed further" -> "which was relocated further"
Explanation: "Whih" is a misspelling of "which." "Relocated further" is more precise and formal than "pushed further."
"rooms for bigger stage" -> "space for a larger stage"
Explanation: "Rooms for bigger stage" is awkward and unclear. "Space for a larger stage" is more concise and descriptive.
"accompained with" -> "accompanied by"
Explanation: "Accompained with" is incorrect; "accompanied by" is the appropriate phrase to indicate something accompanying something else.
"a totally new room" -> "an entirely new room"
Explanation: "Totally" is somewhat informal. "Entirely" is a more sophisticated alternative that maintains formality.
"connected to the media room by a narrow hall" -> "linked to the media room via a narrow corridor"
Explanation: "Connected to" is basic; "linked to" adds variety and sophistication. "Hall" is replaced with "corridor" for a more precise and formal term.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the task by summarizing the changes in the theater from 2010 to 2012. It provides an overview of the main features such as the expansion of the lobby, changes in the ticket office and cafe, and the relocation of rooms within the theater. Key features like the expansion of the stage and the relocation of the media and storage rooms are adequately highlighted.
How to improve: To improve, ensure that all details are relevant and accurate. Provide a clearer structure to the essay, with separate paragraphs for each main feature. Expand on the comparisons between 2010 and 2012 to provide a more detailed analysis of the changes. Additionally, focus on using formal language and correct grammar and punctuation throughout the essay.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some organization by describing changes in the theater from 2010 to 2012. There is an attempt to provide an overview of the changes, including renovations, new constructions, and reallocation. However, the progression is not entirely clear, as the essay jumps between different areas of the theater without a smooth transition. Additionally, there are issues with cohesion, such as repetitive language and lack of clear referencing. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, leading to a disjointed flow of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but it is not consistently logical.

How to improve:

Improve coherence by organizing the information more clearly. Ensure a logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next.
Use a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and improve the flow of the essay.
Avoid repetitive language and strive for clarity and conciseness in expression.
Ensure consistent and logical paragraphing throughout the essay to enhance readability and structure.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition and minimal variety. There are instances of inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "much change were made" instead of "many changes were made." Additionally, there are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation throughout the essay, such as "contructions" instead of "constructions," "perforances" instead of "performances," and "whih" instead of "which." These errors, though they do not completely impede communication, hinder the clarity and precision of the essay’s expression.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary, avoiding repetition, and using more precise language. They should also pay close attention to spelling and word formation to ensure accuracy. Reading more academic texts and paying attention to the language used in IELTS Task 2 prompts can help improve vocabulary range and accuracy. Additionally, practicing writing essays and seeking feedback on language use can aid in refining lexical resource skills.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. There is a variety of sentence structures present, including simple, compound, and complex sentences, contributing to a moderate range of structures. While some complex structures are attempted, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors in sentence construction that slightly reduce clarity and coherence. However, the overall communication is maintained, and the main features of the theater changes are conveyed.

In terms of grammatical accuracy, the essay contains some errors in grammar and punctuation. These errors, while noticeable, do not significantly impede comprehension. However, they do affect the fluency and precision of expression. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and punctuation throughout the essay.

How to improve:

Sentence Structure: Aim for a more consistent and varied use of complex sentence structures to enhance clarity and coherence. Ensure that complex sentences are constructed correctly to avoid confusion.
Grammar and Punctuation: Pay close attention to grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and tense consistency. Review punctuation usage, including commas and apostrophes, to improve clarity and readability.
Proofreading: Take time to proofread the essay carefully to identify and correct errors in grammar and punctuation. Consider seeking feedback from others to improve the overall accuracy and precision of expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided plans illustrate the changes undergone by a particular theater between 2010 and 2012.

Overall, significant alterations occurred across various areas of the theater over the two-year period, encompassing renovations, new constructions, and spatial reallocations.

Upon entering through the main entrance, notable adjustments can be observed in the theater’s lobby. In 2010, the space adjacent to the left-hand side of the main entrance, previously occupied by a café, was flattened and replaced by a ticket office by 2012. This alteration facilitated the creation of new restaurant facilities, situated in the vicinity of the administrative office, which was relocated to the north-western corner of the lobby.

Transitioning into the main theater room, where performances take place, while the auditorium area remained largely unchanged, the stage underwent significant expansion. To accommodate the enlarged stage, the media room, initially situated behind the stage, was relocated to the left-hand side, displacing a storage room and introducing additional shower facilities. Additionally, the storage room on the right-hand side of the stage was moved to a newly constructed space, linked to the media room via a narrow hallway positioned behind the stage.