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The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005 (in millions).

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000
and 2005 (in millions).

The table illustrates the changes in the number of international travelers to various regions in 1990, 1995, and 2000 (in millions).

Overall, there was a notable growth in international travel over the years, with Europe consistently attracting the highest number of visitors. However, American tourism experienced a slight decline at the end of the period.

In 1990, the number of visitors to America, Asia and the Pacific, and Europe was recorded at 80.5 million, 60.2 million, and 280.2 million respectively, indicating a significant interest in these regions. By 2000, the total number of tourists continued to increase; however, the figures for America saw a minor decrease, while Asia and Europe experienced continued growth.

Additionally, in 1990, Africa received more than double the number of international travelers compared to the Middle East, with approximately 18 million and 10 million respectively. Despite sharing a similar overall trend in tourist numbers, Africa showed remarkable growth between 1995 and 2000, rising from 20.8 million to 26.9 million. Meanwhile, the Middle East experienced a steady increase of around 2 million visitors every five years during this period.

In conclusion, while Europe remained the most popular destination for international travelers, other regions like Africa also showed significant increases in tourist numbers. The data suggest that governments and stakeholders in the tourism industry need to address the slight decline in American tourism while fostering growth in emerging markets.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The table illustrates" -> "The data presented in the table illustrate"
    Explanation: Using "data presented in the table illustrate" instead of "The table illustrates" corrects the grammatical structure and makes the phrase more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style.

  2. "notable growth" -> "significant increase"
    Explanation: "Significant increase" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "notable growth," which can be seen as somewhat informal and vague.

  3. "slight decline" -> "modest decline"
    Explanation: "Modest decline" is a more formal and precise term than "slight decline," which is somewhat colloquial and less specific.

  4. "minor decrease" -> "modest decrease"
    Explanation: Similar to the previous point, "modest decrease" is more formal and precise than "minor decrease," enhancing the academic tone.

  5. "more than double" -> "nearly double"
    Explanation: "Nearly double" is a more precise and formal expression than "more than double," which can be seen as slightly informal and imprecise.

  6. "remarkable growth" -> "substantial growth"
    Explanation: "Substantial growth" is a more neutral and academically appropriate term than "remarkable," which can carry a connotation of emotional emphasis that is less suitable for formal writing.

  7. "fostering growth" -> "promoting growth"
    Explanation: "Promoting growth" is a more formal and commonly used term in academic and professional contexts compared to "fostering," which can be less specific.

  8. "need to address" -> "must address"
    Explanation: "Must address" is a stronger, more assertive expression that is more suitable for formal academic writing than "need to address," which is slightly less direct.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main trends in international travel, highlighting the consistent growth in Europe and the slight decline in American tourism. It also presents key features and bullet points, such as the significant interest in America, Asia and the Pacific in 1990, and the remarkable growth in Africa between 1995 and 2000. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more detailed analysis of the data, such as comparing the growth rates of different regions or discussing the potential reasons for the decline in American tourism.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis of the data. For example, the writer could compare the growth rates of different regions or discuss the potential reasons for the decline in American tourism. The writer could also use more specific language to describe the trends in the data. For example, instead of saying "there was a notable growth in international travel," the writer could say "international travel increased significantly over the period."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a central topic, and the use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances of slight under-use, particularly in linking ideas between sentences. The overall structure is coherent, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow of information.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from a more varied use of cohesive devices to connect ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph transitions seamlessly into the next would strengthen the overall coherence. More explicit referencing and substitution could also help reduce any repetitive language and improve clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying information about international travel trends. The use of less common lexical items, such as "notable growth," "significant interest," and "remarkable growth," indicates an awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "the figures for America saw a minor decrease," which could be more precisely stated as "the number of visitors to America saw a minor decrease." Additionally, there are minor errors in spelling and word formation that do not impede communication but indicate room for improvement.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from incorporating a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring that all word choices are precise and appropriate for the context. Reducing errors in spelling and word formation will also enhance the overall lexical resource. Furthermore, varying sentence structures and using more complex phrases could demonstrate greater lexical control and flexibility.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, which aligns well with the criteria for Band 7. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, although there are a few minor errors present. For instance, the phrase "the figures for America saw a minor decrease" could be more clearly stated as "the figures for America showed a minor decrease." Overall, the grammatical range is adequate, but the presence of occasional errors prevents a higher score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing the accuracy of complex structures and minimizing errors. This can be done by proofreading the essay for grammatical mistakes and ensuring clarity in sentence construction. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of grammatical structures, such as more varied subordinate clauses, could further demonstrate flexibility and accuracy in language use.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table illustrates the changes in the number of international travelers to various regions in 1990, 1995, 2000, and 2005 (in millions).

Overall, there was a notable growth in international travel over the years, with Europe consistently attracting the highest number of visitors. However, American tourism experienced a slight decline by the end of the period.

In 1990, the number of visitors to America, Asia and the Pacific, and Europe was recorded at 80.5 million, 60.2 million, and 280.2 million respectively, indicating a significant interest in these regions. By 2005, the total number of tourists continued to increase; however, the figures for America saw a minor decrease, while Asia and Europe experienced sustained growth.

Additionally, in 1990, Africa received more than double the number of international travelers compared to the Middle East, with approximately 18 million and 10 million respectively. Despite sharing a similar overall trend in tourist numbers, Africa showed remarkable growth between 1995 and 2000, rising from 20.8 million to 26.9 million. Meanwhile, the Middle East experienced a steady increase of around 2 million visitors every five years during this period.

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