The table shows the information of total health expenditure per capita in five countries in 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the information of total health expenditure per capita in five countries in 2019.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table gives information about total spending on healthcare per capita in five nations, including Australia, Germany, the United States, Japan and the United Kingdom in the year of 2019.
Overall, the United States was the country that had the highest health expenditure per person, while the United Kingdom spent the least on healthcare expenses.
Evidently, inhabitants from the United States invested in the health sector the most of five given countries, with the statistic standing at 11,073 US dollars per capita. Following behind with its figure nearly halved that of the United States, at 6,646 US dollars, was Germany, ranked as the second-highest spender in the analysis.
In contrast, the three remaining countries possessed a comparatively lower health expenditure. Regarding Australia, its data for spending on health was 5,187 US dollars, whereas Japan and the United Kingdom shared relatively similar figures, at 4,823 US dollars and 4,652 US dollars, respectively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "the year of 2019" -> "2019"
   Explanation: The phrase "the year of 2019" is redundant and informal. Using "2019" directly is more concise and appropriate for academic writing.

2. "the country that had the highest health expenditure per person" -> "the country with the highest per capita health expenditure"
   Explanation: "With the highest per capita health expenditure" is more precise and formal, aligning better with academic style by using "per capita" to specify the unit of measurement.

3. "the United Kingdom spent the least on healthcare expenses" -> "the United Kingdom had the lowest healthcare expenditure"
   Explanation: "Had the lowest healthcare expenditure" is a more formal and precise way to express the comparative statement, avoiding the colloquial tone of "spent the least."

4. "Evidently, inhabitants from the United States" -> "clearly, the inhabitants of the United States"
   Explanation: "Clearly" is a more formal transition than "Evidently," and "the inhabitants of the United States" is grammatically correct and more precise than "inhabitants from the United States."

5. "invested in the health sector the most" -> "invested the most in the health sector"
   Explanation: Rearranging the phrase to "invested the most in the health sector" corrects the awkward structure and improves readability.

6. "Following behind with its figure nearly halved that of the United States" -> "Following closely behind with a figure nearly half that of the United States"
   Explanation: Adding "closely" clarifies the proximity of the ranking, and "a figure nearly half that of the United States" is more precise and formal than "its figure nearly halved that of the United States."

7. "the three remaining countries possessed a comparatively lower health expenditure" -> "the remaining three countries had lower health expenditures"
   Explanation: "Had lower health expenditures" is more direct and formal, avoiding the awkward construction of "possessed a comparatively lower health expenditure."

8. "its data for spending on health was" -> "its health expenditure data was"
   Explanation: "Its health expenditure data was" is more concise and formally correct, improving the flow of the sentence.

9. "shared relatively similar figures" -> "had similar figures"
   Explanation: "Had similar figures" is more straightforward and formal, avoiding the unnecessary word "relatively."

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends in health expenditure per capita in the five countries. The essay clearly presents and highlights the key features of the data, including the highest and lowest spenders, and makes comparisons between the countries. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more detailed analysis of the data, such as comparing the relative differences in spending between the countries.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis of the data. For example, the essay could compare the relative differences in spending between the countries, or it could discuss the possible reasons for the differences in spending. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of saying that the United States spent "the most" on healthcare, the essay could say that the United States spent "significantly more" than the other countries.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout the response. The central topic of health expenditure per capita is maintained, and there is a coherent flow from one point to another. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, although there are instances where their use could be improved to enhance clarity and avoid any mechanical feel. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, but the transitions between some ideas could be smoother to achieve a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer could work on varying the use of cohesive devices and ensuring that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are more fluid. Additionally, more explicit referencing could help clarify relationships between the data presented. Improving the logical flow of ideas and ensuring that each paragraph transitions seamlessly to the next would also contribute to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision in conveying the information presented in the table. The use of phrases like "health expenditure per capita," "invested in the health sector," and "comparatively lower health expenditure" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice, such as "the statistic standing at" which could be more naturally phrased. The essay is generally clear, but minor errors in word choice and phrasing prevent it from reaching a higher band.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and expressions to avoid repetition (e.g., using "healthcare costs" instead of repeating "health expenditure"). Additionally, ensuring precise word choices and avoiding awkward phrasing would improve clarity and sophistication. Finally, practicing the use of uncommon lexical items in context could help to achieve a more natural and fluent use of vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences, indicating good control of grammar and punctuation. The writer effectively communicates the main features of the data and makes relevant comparisons between the countries. However, there are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as "the most of five given countries" and "the year of 2019," which slightly detract from the overall accuracy and fluency of the writing.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by proofreading for minor errors and awkward constructions. Additionally, incorporating a wider range of sentence structures and varying the sentence beginnings could improve the overall complexity and sophistication of the writing. Lastly, ensuring that all phrases are clear and precise will help in achieving a more polished essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table provides information about total healthcare expenditure per capita in five countries—Australia, Germany, the United States, Japan, and the United Kingdom—for the year 2019. Overall, the United States had the highest health expenditure per person, while the United Kingdom recorded the lowest spending on healthcare.

Evidently, residents of the United States invested the most in the health sector among the five countries, with the expenditure standing at 11,073 US dollars per capita. Following closely, Germany ranked as the second-highest spender, with its figure nearly half that of the United States, at 6,646 US dollars.

In contrast, the three remaining countries exhibited comparatively lower health expenditures. Australia reported spending 5,187 US dollars on healthcare, while Japan and the United Kingdom had relatively similar figures, at 4,823 US dollars and 4,652 US dollars, respectively.