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The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand.

The tables and pie chart show in percentage terms of the results of a survey of a new shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand.

The tables and pie chart illustrate the results of a survey conducted in Auckland, New Zealand, concerning shopper satisfaction at a new shopping complex. The survey data is segmented by gender and categorized into four response types: No Comment, Dissatisfied, Satisfied, and Very Satisfied.

Overall, the majority of shoppers reported being either "Very Satisfied" or "Satisfied," with females generally expressing higher levels of "Very Satisfied" compared to males. Male respondents, on the other hand, showed a stronger inclination toward being "Satisfied."

Regarding the quality of shops, 34% of females rated themselves as "Very Satisfied," exactly double the percentage of males at 17%. Conversely, nearly half of the males (45%) reported being "Satisfied," outnumbering the proportion of females (37%) by 8 percentage points. Both genders had an equal dissatisfaction rate of 20%. However, males were more likely to refrain from commenting, with 18% choosing not to provide feedback, which is double the 9% of females who did the same.

In terms of restaurant satisfaction, females continued to lead in the "Very Satisfied" category with 27%, slightly higher than the 25% of males. However, males dominated the "Satisfied" category, with 55% compared to 32% of females. Notably, the dissatisfaction rate among females was 21%, four times higher than the 5% recorded among males. Additionally, the proportion of females who chose not to comment exceeded that of males by 5 percentage points.

Regarding the overall design of the shopping complex, nearly two-thirds of respondents (62%) were "Satisfied," a figure six times higher than those who were "Dissatisfied" (11%) or gave "No Comment" (10%). A modest 17% of respondents rated the design as "Very Satisfied."


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "The tables and pie chart" -> "The tables and the pie chart"
    Explanation: Adding "the" before "pie chart" corrects the grammatical error and aligns with the formal academic style by specifying the definite article.

  2. "concerning shopper satisfaction" -> "regarding shopper satisfaction"
    Explanation: "Regarding" is more formal and precise than "concerning," which is slightly less common in academic writing.

  3. "segmented by gender and categorized into four response types" -> "divided by gender and categorized into four response categories"
    Explanation: "Divided" is more specific and formal than "segmented" in this context, and "response categories" is more precise than "response types."

  4. "Generally expressing higher levels of" -> "Tending to express higher levels of"
    Explanation: "Tending to" is a more academically appropriate phrase than "generally," which can be seen as too vague.

  5. "showed a stronger inclination toward being" -> "displayed a stronger inclination towards being"
    Explanation: "Displayed" is more formal than "showed," and "towards" is the correct preposition to use before "being."

  6. "exactly double the percentage of" -> "exactly twice the proportion of"
    Explanation: "Twice the proportion" is a more precise and formal expression than "double the percentage."

  7. "outnumbering the proportion of females" -> "exceeding the proportion of females"
    Explanation: "Exceeding" is more specific and formal than "outnumbering" in this context, which is more commonly used for numerical comparisons.

  8. "Both genders had an equal dissatisfaction rate" -> "Both genders exhibited equal dissatisfaction rates"
    Explanation: "Exhibited" is more formal and precise than "had," and "rates" is the plural form necessary for consistency with the data presented.

  9. "males were more likely to refrain from commenting" -> "males were more inclined to refrain from commenting"
    Explanation: "Inclined" is a more formal synonym for "likely," enhancing the academic tone.

  10. "which is double the 9% of females" -> "which is twice that of the 9% of females"
    Explanation: "Twice that of" is a more precise and formal way to compare proportions.

  11. "males dominated the ‘Satisfied’ category" -> "males predominantly fell into the ‘Satisfied’ category"
    Explanation: "Predominantly" is more precise and formal than "dominated," which can imply a stronger control than intended.

  12. "four times higher than the 5% recorded among males" -> "four times the rate recorded among males"
    Explanation: "The rate" is a more precise term than "the percentage," which is more appropriate in academic writing.

  13. "the proportion of females who chose not to comment exceeded that of males by 5 percentage points" -> "the proportion of females who chose not to comment surpassed that of males by 5 percentage points"
    Explanation: "Surpassed" is a more formal and precise verb than "exceeded" in this context.

  14. "six times higher than those who were ‘Dissatisfied’ or gave ‘No Comment’" -> "six times the number of those who were ‘Dissatisfied’ or gave ‘No Comment’"
    Explanation: "The number" provides a clearer and more formal reference to the count, aligning better with academic style.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay covers all the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends in the data. The writer highlights key features and bullet points, but could be more fully extended. For example, the writer could have provided more specific details about the differences between male and female responses.

How to improve: The writer could improve the essay by providing more specific details about the differences between male and female responses. For example, the writer could have stated that females were more likely to be "Very Satisfied" with the quality of shops, while males were more likely to be "Satisfied." The writer could also have provided more specific details about the reasons for the differences in responses. For example, the writer could have speculated that females may be more likely to be "Very Satisfied" with the quality of shops because they are more likely to shop for clothes and accessories, which are often found in shopping complexes.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the survey results, maintaining a central topic. A range of cohesive devices is used appropriately, although there are instances of slight overuse, particularly in the repetition of phrases such as "Very Satisfied" and "Satisfied." The paragraphing is clear, but there could be improvements in the transitions between some ideas to enhance the overall flow.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should aim to vary their vocabulary and sentence structures more, reducing repetition of key phrases. Additionally, improving the use of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between ideas would enhance coherence. Finally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph relate directly to that topic would strengthen the overall organization.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying the survey results. It effectively uses less common lexical items, such as "inclination," "dissatisfaction," and "proportion," which shows some awareness of style and collocation. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "rated themselves as ‘Very Satisfied,’" which could be more accurately expressed as "rated their satisfaction as ‘Very Satisfied.’" Additionally, there are minor spelling and word formation errors, though they do not impede communication. Overall, the vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band score.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further, particularly by incorporating more sophisticated and varied lexical items. Additionally, they should pay closer attention to collocations and phrasing to avoid inaccuracies in word choice. Practicing the use of synonyms and more complex sentence structures can enhance the overall lexical resource. Finally, proofreading for minor errors in spelling and word formation can help ensure that the vocabulary used is both accurate and effective.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few minor errors present. The overall grammatical range is adequate, but there are instances where sentence structures could be more varied or sophisticated to reach a higher band. The essay effectively communicates the survey results, but slight inaccuracies in phrasing and occasional awkward constructions prevent it from achieving a higher score.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer could incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex and compound sentences. Additionally, focusing on reducing minor errors and ensuring that all sentences are clear and fluid would help. Practicing advanced grammatical structures and seeking feedback on sentence variety can also contribute to achieving a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The tables and pie chart illustrate the results of a survey conducted in Auckland, New Zealand, concerning shopper satisfaction at a new shopping complex. The survey data is segmented by gender and categorized into four response types: No Comment, Dissatisfied, Satisfied, and Very Satisfied.

Overall, the majority of shoppers reported being either "Very Satisfied" or "Satisfied," with females generally expressing higher levels of "Very Satisfied" compared to males. Male respondents, on the other hand, exhibited a stronger inclination toward being "Satisfied."

Regarding the quality of shops, 34% of females rated themselves as "Very Satisfied," which is exactly double the percentage of males at 17%. Conversely, nearly half of the males (45%) reported being "Satisfied," outnumbering the proportion of females (37%) by 8 percentage points. Both genders had an equal dissatisfaction rate of 20%. However, males were more likely to refrain from commenting, with 18% choosing not to provide feedback, which is double the 9% of females who did the same.

In terms of restaurant satisfaction, females continued to lead in the "Very Satisfied" category with 27%, slightly higher than the 25% of males. However, males dominated the "Satisfied" category, with 55% compared to 32% of females. Notably, the dissatisfaction rate among females was 21%, which is four times higher than the 5% recorded among males. Additionally, the proportion of females who chose not to comment exceeded that of males by 5 percentage points.

Regarding the overall design of the shopping complex, nearly two-thirds of respondents (62%) were "Satisfied," a figure six times higher than those who were "Dissatisfied" (11%) or gave "No Comment" (10%). A modest 17% of respondents rated the design as "Very Satisfied."

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